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Witch Weekly · April 22, 2018 – 4:02 AM

Missed Connections
Older, Attractive Healer at Hogsmeade Hospital I was your patient last month. We shared some intellectually stimulating conversations about moon calves and bowtruckles. You mentioned that you were a widow. Though I am much younger than yourself, I would greatly enjoy getting to know you better and starting up a friendship - or possibly more. Please owl back with what my injury was so that we can continue to get to know one another. Criminal Who Stole My Broomstick I had visited my sister on Cauldron Corner and left my broomstick outside the door so as not to bring dirt into the house. You snatched it and flew away - all I could see was your back. You were wearing red. You won’t get away with this! I’ve alerted the authorities and they are investigating!	Professional Quidditch Player at the Ministry Last Month You were busy and we didn’t speak. We made eye contact several times. I am employed there and did not have it in me to introduce myself and ask if I could get an autograph. If you see this, please address it to “Manny” and send it to the office you were in! They’ll make sure to get it to me. Star Crossed Lovers of 1860 We have not spoken for years but I still think about you. We shared a birthday and almost wed once, but situations in life did not allow us to be together. I have been widowed these past few years and heard that you are recently widowed as well. I hope to discover if our connection is still as strong as it once was. Owl me if you would like to see me. You know how to find me.	Progressive Blonde Man at the Ministry Open House I did not think to introduce myself and you did not offer your name. You had forward thinking opinions that I enjoyed immensely. You were a breath of fresh air. I think I’m in love with you. Please ask me to be your wife so that we can change the world together. I will be at the restaurant we both agreed was our favorite on Sunday. Come find me. Woman Shopping at BBB Last Week We made eye contact through the window. You looked sad. I wanted to say hello and see if you needed to chat, but was running late for my shift and did not have time to do so. Please let me know that you alright. If not, I am here if you need a friend. Leave a note at the BBB for me. I’ll find it.

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Issue #176 - Society Wives You Should Avoid