Issue #208 - 10 Bachelors on the Rise!
January 20, 2019 – 4:58 AM
The Original Fake News
January 20, 2019 – 4:58 AM
The Original Fake News
| 1888 proved that not all good publicity is good publicity. Smart debutantes should already know that the way to succeed in the 1889 season is to avoid publicity altogether! | Five Tips For Social Success In The 1889 Season 1888 was, arguably, a year that saw relatively unknown names cast into the limelight for scandalous behavior, whether or not it was intentional. From unmarried women risking their lives—and their honor—to venture into the Irvingly fog unchaperoned to a handful of otherwise respectable ladies caught in elopement scandals, the events of 1888 can be used a set of guidelines for what budding debutantes should avoid in the new year. But that also begs another question: what should budding debutantes do, to both avoid trouble and stand out among their peers in the upcoming season? Well, loyal readers, we at Witch Weekly have carefully complied a number of suggestions to avoid notoriety for the wrong reasons—and attract the right attention!
* Please, do focus your attention on single men—as in, unattached ones—rather than married men. |
January 20, 2019 – 4:58 AM
The Original Fake News
| 10 Facts About Konstantin Fisk Despite broken engagements, rumors of unchaperoned shenanigans, and the eldest's recent elopement to an orphaned mediwitch, the Fisk family is arguably one of the most influential Ministry families in modern times! Apart from Mrs. Roslyn Ross—the Minister's own wife!—being a Fisk by blood, her brother, Mr. Konstantin Fisk, is the current Department of Magical Law Enforcement assistant head. More importantly, Mr. Fisk is very available according to our sources, which is why Witch Weekly is presenting 10 facts about this handsome bachelor! 1. According to professional matchmakers, the dark-haired, light-eyed Mr. Fisk would best be paired with a a dark-eyed blonde. Given his height (he nearly reaches six feet!), a shorter wife would do best so he might spare his daughters the embarrassment of towering over potential suitors! 2. A former Slytherin, Mr. Fisk has continued to live up to his house's reputation for producing politicians. Though the phrase "opposites attract" might ring true where appearance and personality is concerned, Mr. Fisk's happiness might be best found married to a woman with social ambitions as great as his career ones! 3. Born January 15th, Mr. Fisk is a Capricorn and is best-suited for Virgos, Tauruses, Scorpios, and Pisces women. 4. Mr. Fisk managed the successful campaign of now Minister for Magic, Justin Ross, and remains close friends with the former Minister for Magic, Balthazar Urquart. 5. Mr. Fisk has two elder brothers, one elder sister, three younger sisters, and three younger brothers. Despite not being the firstborn son, Mr. Fisk's position ensures a comfortable lifestyle for a prospective bride! 6. Former year-mates of Mr. Fisk claim that he sat underneath the Sorting Hat for a full eight minutes before being sorted into Slytherin. 7. Mr. Fisk would later serve as Slytherin prefect, as well as Head Boy in his seventh years. What's more attractive than a handsome, intelligent, and morally upstanding gentleman? 8. Before being appointed as his department's assistant head, Mr. Fisk worked in the Department of Law Enforcement as a clerk, lawyer, junior assistant to the Minister, and eventually the Senior Undersecretary under Minister Urquart. He is also one of the youngest members of the Wizengamot. 9. Mr. Fisk is an accomplished duelist, having won one of Hogsmeade's dueling competitions. 10. Mr. Fisk possesses a rosewood wand, a wood said to symbolize love and healing. Might this suggest a hidden romantic under his reserved, serious facade? Perhaps he'll be well-suited for a woman recovering from heartbreak! |
 Is that Witch Weekly we see? Perhaps Mr. Fisk has been browsing the up-and-coming debutantes! Is Mr. Fisk destined to be a future Minister for Magic? We think so! |
January 20, 2019 – 4:58 AM
The Original Fake News
| 10 Bachelors on the Rise! | |
Many times in the past we have featured eligible bachelors but there is one group of bachelors we tend to forget - those that might not currently be considered a very eligible bachelor to pursue whether it be due to age, current reputation or current occupation. The following list are ten bachelors that one should keep their eye on whether it be because you're a debutante with increasingly few options or a young debutante that still has quite some time to settle on a beau. Ace Lukeson and Handsome WhitledgeAce Lukeson. One of the youngest on this list, Mister Ace Lukeson has a responsibility that many his age simply do not have - the care of many younger siblings. In early 1888, the Lukeson children were orphaned and the eldest - Mister Ace Lukeson - was granted guardianship over them. Due to this, Mister Lukeson might be in need of a bride at an earlier age than most. He is a Ministry man despite the wealth he has likely inherited due to his parents death so shows ambition and great potential. Handsome Whitledge. Much like Mister Lukeson, Mister Handsome Whitledge is also an orphan. Unlike Mister Lukeson, however, Mister Whitledges grandmother was the one that attained guardianship over his many sisters. Mrs. Georgia Whitledge was lost to them during the fog, however and has since retained guardianship of his siblings. And thus, this makes him yet another young bachelor that might benefit from marrying quite young. He is a Quidditch player but only on the second string so could very likely be talked into focusing on other pursuits.  Theodore Gallivan, Tybalt Kirke & and Nemo FiskTheodore Gallivan. Despite his young age, Mister Gallivan holds two prominent occupations. He is a auror in training poised to complete the program and he took over sponsorship of the Chudley Cannons. He is quite set financially, it would seem and appears to be emotionally mature. With his current prospects, he looks to be shaping up to be quite the catch! Nemo Fisk. A Hufflepuff graduate, Mister Nemo Fisk is said to embody quite a bit of the qualities. All great things one might want to find if they desire to have a sweet, caring husband! He has great political connections with one of his brother in laws being the current Minister of Magic. He is a Ministry man and while his position there is not what one might call prestigious, there is still a chance that he could work his way up the ladder - especially with the right woman to guide him. |
Tybalt Kirke. While having the not quite suitable position of professional Quidditch player, Mister Kirke is otherwise a very reputable choice. He has the potential to be shaped into a great husband, especially if one can convince him to pick up a much more beneficial occupation. Even if he does not, one cannot deny that the fame that comes with being a Quidditch player might suit the young lady with her eye on being a public figure. Jack Watson and Marmaduke WarbeckJack Watson. Not much is known about this mysterious Frenchman but he is a fixture at many social events and is said to be quite wealthy! While he is still a bit young to be thinking of marriage, one cannot deny that he makes a strong prospect. It helps that he is quite delightful to look at as well with a boyish charm about him. Marmaduke Warbeck. While not the most ideal choice both due to a tendency to often be found in the Augerey Beak Cafe in the company of various miscreants and a generally odd family, Mister Warbeck would be a fine choice for those young ladies that can hardly afford to be picky. He has a solid occupation within the Ministry and is purported to be quite intelligent.  Finlay Connolly, Jameson Jewell & Eugene ScamanderEugene Scamander. Mister Scamander is much closer to the age that one would consider marriageable and is a very viable candidate for a husband. He has a position within the Ministry but could easily work his way up the political ladder. He is said to be quite hardworking and his potential is quite untapped. Jameson Jewell. Mister Jewell is quite set financially as co-owner of a distillery but has been prone to more travel than a man really needs to partake in. He might be a good choice for those adventurous debutantes that would like to travel but ultimately, one should strive to have their husband at home. With his brother engaged, it is quite certain that Mister Jameson Jewell might very well already have his own future bridal prospects in mind. Finlay Connolly. The oldest on this list, Mister Finlay Connolly might not seem to be the most impressive candidate for ones future husband. However, he is bound to be a very family oriented man as the Connolly brood is known for having a majority of their familial branch still living in the same home or nearby. Mister Connolly might be argued to not be emotionally mature for marriage as he is purported to often fancy one young lady or another. However, if he stops with that nonsense, then he might be a very suitable man for the young lady that does not mind living within chaos. |
January 20, 2019 – 4:59 AM
The Original Fake News
| Our recent feature created a stirred a large response from our readership, both positive and negative. These letters are only a representative sample. What do you think of the issue? | Letters From Our Readers! To the Editor of Witch Weekly: Dear Witch Weekly, Dear Witch Weekly, |
January 20, 2019 – 4:59 AM
The Original Fake News
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