Issue #221 - Witch Weekly's Guide To A Wonderful Winter
November 24, 2019 – 8:23 PM
The Original Fake News
November 24, 2019 – 8:23 PM
The Original Fake News
| Do you have a mistletoe horror story (or fond memory) to share? Write us a letter and your story may be featured in a December article! | Mistletoe: Friend or Foe? The Christmas season is approaching, and with it, a traditional yet controversial decoration: mistletoe. Those who missed out on NEWT herbology may be surprised to learn that mistletoe is actually more of a parasite than a typical plant, and often kills the trees that it nestles in, and yet the tradition of sharing a kiss beneath it actually goes all the way back to Ancient Greece! But is this a tradition worth maintaining, or one that should be left by the wayside? Decorating too liberally may lead a debutante to their downfall, experts warn. On the one hand, it is seen as exceptionally rude to refuse a kiss if one is caught under the mistletoe, to the point where one reader reported a gentleman who had appeared to be on the verge of asking for courtship withdrew his advances after she opted to maintain her Christmas-kiss chastity. A well-known etiquette manual warns girls that refusing to kiss below the mistletoe may result in losing the attention of all men for a year or more! On the other hand, however, a girl seen to be kissing too often will doubtless be talked about. Hostesses, for that reason, are encouraged to place mistletoe only once or twice in the home, if they chose to use it at all, so that those not intending to be caught under its web may avoid it easily. But should you put it up in the first place? Opinions are mixed. One reader reported that she shared her first kiss (with chastely closed lips) with her husband beneath the mistletoe, while the two were still courting, and she believed that special moment accelerated their progress towards engagement. Another reader was caught under the mistletoe with an odious fellow, who then felt entitled to ask her to dance three times at that same party, which quite disrupted her chances of enjoying the evening. Another issue to take note of is the nature of the kiss shared below mistletoe. While it is generally rude to refuse a kiss in this situation, the kiss must reflect the level of acquaintance between the man and the woman (and not in any case the level of acquaintance one party merely desires). Between strangers or distance acquaintances, a gentleman may kiss a woman's hand, but nothing more is appropriate. With friends, a kiss on the cheek may be substituted. Only when the couple is in the latter stages of courtship or beyond would a kiss on the lips be appropriate, and in these situations one must always remember the public nature of the event and keep things simple, chaste, and brief. |
November 24, 2019 – 8:24 PM
The Original Fake News
| Ten Facts About Kristoffer Lestrange | |
Only a simple fool would not know the Lestrange family name, but how much does one know of each individual? In this edition of Witch Weekly, we shall be naming ten facts about Mr. Kristoffer Lestrange. Mr. Kristoffer Lestrange. 1. He was a prefect. Our sources have confirmed that Mr. Lestrange was a prefect, though not Head Boy, during his Hogwarts years. From what we have gathered, he has been known to take charge and was never afraid to see to it that discipline was enforced among his peers. A future bride should find this a welcome sight to help guide her in their search for future nanny's! His influence was so positive that his younger sister, Miss Frida Lestrange, is now a prefect as well. 2. He is an orphan. Loosing his mother in 1884 to plague, followed by his father passing the next year in a Ministry explosion, must have been quite shocking. Learning to cope through such tragedy must have helped build some character in the young man. 3. He was a quidditch player. During his Hogwarts years, he was a beater - and later named captain - of his house team. Shockingly enough, he never lead his team to victory of the quidditch cup during years as captain. Good thing he decided to not join the professional leagues like his cousin, Mr. Cassius Lestrange. 4. He lives seperately from his sisters. The young man has been ward to his uncle - Mr. Lucius Lestrange, Chief Warlock. Furthermore, his sisters were actually raised by their other uncle - Mr. Priam Lestrange. It brings into question as to why the family felt it best that they be seperated. Behavioral issues perhaps? 5. He is a Taurus. Some of our readers may be aware that a Taurus is known to be practical, reliable, and devoted. But also be aware that it is also said that they are possessive and stubborn. Not the worst traits for a husband, though one may wish to mind the temper that may follow. |
 Make sure your star signs are compatible before making an acquaintance! 6. His father was Chief Warlock. It should come as no surprise to our readers that Mr. Lucius Lestrange is not the only man of his family to hold a high position in government. Mr. Kristoffer Lestrange's own father had the same job title before his passing. So it must come to question if Mr. Kristoffer Lestrange will remain unemployed or aim higher as those who have raised him have done. 7. His wand is of Yew wood. Many of our wand enthusiasts may know of the rumors regarding this particular wand. Known for its duelling and curses, one might find this particular wand to be an unsettling sign. Paired with a dragon heartstring core, it may lead one to wonder what magical practices Mr. Lestrange leans towards. 8. He is not betrothed. Due to a family history of arranged marriages, it comes as a surprise that no announcement has been made for a betrothal for Mr. Lestrange. A worthy family name would surely find a suitable match with no worries. Perhaps there is a more worrisome reason as to why he does not have a suitable match as of yet? 9. He is not the only ward of Lucius Lestrange. Before he was sent to be the ward of Mr. Lucius Lestrange, his cousin - Tiberius Lestrange - was sent to live with the Chief Warlock after the arrest of Tiberius Lestrange's father. Another shocking similarity was that Miss Tatiana Lestrange - sister to Tiberius - was raised by a different family member as well. 10. He is purist. Many may already be aware of the Lestrange family values. However, some may be unaware of just how blunt Mr. Kristoffer Lestrange is of his views. Many of his school peers have reported that Mr. Lestrange was far from shy in regard to his views. For all of our lesser than pure blooded readers, it is unlikely that you will even be allowed to make his acquaintance. |
November 24, 2019 – 8:24 PM
The Original Fake News
| Witch Weekly’s Guide to A Wonderful Winter | |
| Autumn is in the air now, but the Christmas season is just around the corner! After by all accounts a quiet season, we at Witch Weekly hope to see an unforgettable festive season filled with all the parties, presents, passions and pleasures one could imagine, and see the end of the 1880s out in style. How might one make this a winter to remember? Below are more tricks and treats than in a Christmas cracker! Deck the Halls! Don’t leave the festive decorating to your servants, dear: having an eye for a marvellous display sets the best hostess apart. You can gather holly and hang wreaths, or even make a party of it with the ladies: handcraft some Christmas cards, ornaments and homemade presents; eat some mince pies and plum pudding; festoon the places with some ribboned mistletoe (and discover just who each lady is quietly hoping to meet under it while you’re at it).  Mystery Gifts! Names having been drawn from a hat, one must secretly find the perfect gift for the chosen person without anyone knowing which name one has. Leave a cryptic note attached, or no clues at all. During the holidays, all the mystery gifts are unwrapped - this is a scheme that works equally well with shop-bought items or handmade offerings, and the recipient trying to guess who their Christmas angel is makes the gift-exchanging twice the thrill! Play a parlour game! The holidays are the perfect time to get one’s family or friends together, and there is no better way to liven up an evening in front of the fire than playing a parlour game or two. Try “The Sculptor”, in which the nominated “sculptor” must go about putting the rest of the guests in awkward poses, all of whom must keep still while he or she frolics among them. The first to laugh or surrender their pose loses and must forfeit! (Possible forfeits include having to offer compliments to someone or having to go about kissing every lady or gentleman in the room!) |
Speed Skating Championships! Ice-skating has long been the fashion at all the winter events, but round up your sporting young gentlemen to make a newfangled spectacle. The Dutch are doing it in earnest - this year marks the first official “world championship” held there! Far too dangerous for a young lady, this type of rather more ruthless skating sees a course set over a certain stretch of ice, and plenty of fun in wagering on who will be the “last man standing!” Put on a play! Gather up your children for a magical nativity scene, or add a little fun to your dinner parties by hosting a theatrical extravaganza after pudding. One need not be a veteran of the stage (indeed, how crass!) to prance about in costumes for one evening and put together a scene or two for a special occasion. Not only can it be a great laugh, it will force the most retiring crabs in the room to be prodded out of their shells, which is perhaps the greatest Christmas gift they could be given. Spread the festive cheer to the streets! Don’t be a regular Scrooge, and instead arrange to involve your social circles in a spot of charity. There’s no better time. There are poor children shivering on the streets, parents out of work and suffering from illnesses in the harsh cold. Hand out oranges or visit a soup-kitchen, or put your sweet singing voice to some use and organize a carol evening to raise a pretty penny. Throw a winter ball with a twist! One might give a festive costume theme to inspire attire, like “red and gold” or “gingerbread and sugarplums”. Why not try something more outlandish for one’s setting, like a snowflake dance set out-of-doors (don’t forget the forest trails, sleigh rides and warming spells!), a party with rooms of “Christmas Past” and “Christmas Future” - or perhaps 24 Advent Doors, if you’re feeling ambitious - or even a Night of the Living Toys, where instead of punch, all the guests might drink a Shrinking Solution at the door and shrink to the size of toys. See giant Christmas trees, toy train sets and the ballroom floor from an entirely new perspective - but make sure to return your guests to size before they leave, or it will be a winter to remember... for all the wrong reasons! |
November 24, 2019 – 8:24 PM
The Original Fake News
| Heard Around Town! This week we have quite the shocking selection of sensational tidbits for your perusal. A healer believed to be Miss Katerina Bass was spotted staggering around Hogsmeade Hospital in a suspiciously intoxicated manner. What they say about hospitals being worse for sickness than not seems quite plausible with irresponsible healers like that running the place! There was a dreadful commotion the other day when a man was flushed out of the bushes decorating the Zabini's London residence around dusk. The man seemed to be engaging in voyeuristic activities and was identified by one witness as "definitely Mr. Roman Crouch. Or maybe that other one." Presumably 'that other one' is Mr. Reuben Crouch. Mr. Adlard Jr. of the Ministry's Beast Division may very well be a werewolf, according to sources who claim their source is a member of the Lycanthropic Vigilance Society. The society as a whole was unavailable for comment. |
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