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Five Reasons Why Magical Britain is Likely Cursed

With the constant misfortune plaguing the British magical community, many have speculated various reasons as to why so much misfortune has befallen our citizens. While many have seen the focus of this string of rotten events to be centered around Hogsmeade, further observations may lead many of our readers to realize that so much devastation has been spread throughout magical Britain as a whole. Here we will bring forth five possible reasons that such occurances may be happening within our community, though we encourage our readers to think hard. Do you have any guesses as to why so much misfortune has happened to magical Britain? 1. Is it The Muggleborns? As many might remember, muggles once discovered magic in London. This lead to riots and deaths among the wizarding community. It also lead to several muggleborns being disowned from many walks of life, some before even entering Hogwarts. Some have speculated that due to this, muggleborns blame older wizarding families for having to hide from muggles and being viewed as evil. As a result, some may feel that certain groups of muggleborns may be behind the misfortune that seems to constantly plague the British wizarding community. 2. Is it The Vampires? Before you laugh us off and throw out this page, we urge you to read on. No, we do not believe that vampires have suddenly gained the ability to use magic. However, we do believe that it is possible that certain vampires may have hired wizards to do their dirty work. As many of our readers know, there have been many vampire attacks.

But some may not know that some vampires are fighting for rights to be treated as equal citizens? We believe that it may be possible that more extremist vampires have decided to take matters into their own hands and 'fight back' so they may claim rights from a frightenes populace. Of course, such actions would be wildly barbaric, but what can one expect from a creature of the night? 3. Is it an Ancient Artifact? Many may remember the fog of Hogsmeade and Irvingly. How it had caused so much devastation and chaos for the residents of the area. If one artifact can cause so much chaos, what could another or even multiple artifacts do if they got loose or even into the wrong hands? Should the Ministry be looking into cursed objects with more attentive care? 4. Is it a Dark Wizard? While thankfully many dark wizards have been known to only be petty criminals who have been easily handled by aurors, perhaps there is a more powerful wizard or witch lurking in the shadows. Has a member of our own community decided to weaken our defenses before taking any further steps to take control from the Ministry? 5. Is it the Ministry? This is not the first time we have put the Ministry under a magnifying glass. Due to a seeming lack of control in multiple deparments, it would not come as a surprise if many of these 'Ministry incidents' were actually on purpose! Are we truly being lead to believe that all of this chaos involving the government is supposed to all be accidents?

  

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Predict Your Own Death!

Have you ever wondered how you're destined to die? How old will you be? Where will it happen? How will it occur? The answers lie on this very page! At what age will you die? The initial of your maiden name is how many years you have left. A — 12 B — 29 C — 64 D — 5 E — 23 F — 50 G — 15 H — 22 I — 35 J — 2 K — 77 L — 11 M — 43 N — 47 O — 51 P — 46 Q — 102 R — 3 S — 20 T — 17 U — 9 V — 11 months W — 98 X — 1 Y — 28 Z — 13 How will you die? Select the correct month from each column. Your birth month January — Peacefully February — Painfully March — In a fire April — After a long illness May — In a duel June — Accidental poisoning July — Exotic illness August — By another's hand September — Falling October — Unexpectedly November — An Unbreakable Vow December — Hypothermia Your father's birth month January — on a staircase February — at a theater March — at home April — abroad May — in a garden June — outside July — in your sleep August — on a broomstick September — at a ball October — at a funeral November — in a forest December — in a lake

How many people will attend your funeral? The day of the month you were born is the number of people. 1 — 27 2 — 49 3 — 1 4 — 96 5 — 33 6 — 27 7 — 74 8 — 4 9 — 35 10 — 109 11 — 22 12 — 111 13 — 43 14 — 15 15 — 72 16 — 41 17 — 5 18 — 46 19 — 86 20 — 3 21 — 20 22 — 107 23 — 9 24 — 28 25 — 98 26 — 130 27 — 28 28 — 174 29 — 210 30 — 6 31 — 54 What will be your greatest regret? Look for your star sign to find out! Aries — Failing to master your temper Taurus — Missed opportunities Gemini — Betrayal of a relative or close friend Cancer — Following your heart and not your head Leo — Hurting others with your selfishness Virgo — Following your head too often and rarely your heart Libra — Erring too often on the side of caution Scorpio — Overindulgence and a lack of meaning in your life Sagittarius — Distancing yourself from people out of pride Capricorn — Working too much Aquarius — Bringing shame upon your family Pisces — Living your life with unrealistic expectations

  

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The Zabini-Riley Wedding! One of the biggest weddings in the New Year seems to be between Calliope Riley and Cosmo Zabini. This is not the first wedding for either newlywed with the newly minted Mrs. Zabini having been a widow. She lost her first husband, Daniel Riley in 1882. Mister Zabini's marriage history is a tad more interesting than that of his newlywed wife. The gentleman has been married twice before with one marriage ending in divorce and the second to death. Mister Zabini has children from his first marriage, some of whom are close in age to his new bride and others being older. This reporter simply cannot imagine how it must feel to know that your mother was discarded by your father and to watch him marry someone that you likely attended school with. Mrs Zabini only has one child produced from her first marriage who was born after her husband had already perished so there is no way to gauge how fertile she might be in producing more children for her new husband though her own family consists of multiple siblings. Of her sisters, Mrs. Zabini seems to be the most adept at society life. Mrs Odira Keene is not usually seen among societal events and works as a librarian. Sources have speculated that perhaps her abduction at the hands of a criminal might have made her wary of people and desire to hide herself away. Yet despite being hidden within dusty shelves of books, Mrs Keene has managed to marry twice. Her first husband died in 1886 and she married Baxter Keene in 1889. Miss Loretta Browne, however, has had zero prospects and is purported to be quite awkward when socializing with anyone, let alone the opposite sex. The youngest sister, miss Prudence Browne is still a student so it is still a mystery how she will do in society. As for the wedding itself, it was quite an elegant and lovely affair. They were married on a Wednesday which is the best day for a marriage to take place. There is some discourse over whether January is a good time to marry but starting the new year with a new start in marital bliss seems like the perfect way to start ones life. Mrs Zabinis gown was a gorgeous Parisian gown in an off-white ivory color. It complimented the brides skin beautifully. There was some elegant pearl beading on the bodice which suited the dress wonderfully. It was said to be a lot more understated than the dress she wore in her first wedding which suits a widow perfectly. We here at Witch Weekly wish many blessings upon the newlyweds and look forward to seeing how they take on society together.

Calliope Riley, now Calliope Zabini Cosmo Zabini, widower turned husband once more

  

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The Stars Reveal: A Glimpse into the Marriage of Phineas & Ursula Black After the news that Mrs. Black has delivered a fourth son and fifth healthy child to Headmaster Phineas Black, we at Witch Weekly thought our readers might appreciate a small glimpse into the relationship of this well-known power couple. Headmaster Black is a patient, intuitive, and calculating Scorpio, while Mrs. Black with her April birthday is a strong but occasionally bull-headed Taurus. Scorpio and Taurus are opposing signs, which can make for a tumultuous relationship, particularly when arguments arise. It can also, however, create an attraction deeper than these signs will experience with any other partner. Our astronomers postulate that the marriage of Headmaster and Mrs. Black has more extreme emotions than most, from incredibly vitriolic emotional battles to finding one another in the throws of passion. Both the Taurus and Scorpio are steadfast in their beliefs, and when these beliefs are shared this can often be the glue that binds the couple together through even the hardest of situations. In the case of Mr. and Mrs. Black, whose family life and personal achievements have been lauded as ideals of the wealthy, pureblood lifestyle, we can safely say their mutual interests in purity, propriety, and pride in the legacies they carry on has strengthened their bond. This connection may also serve to even out the natural extremes of their relationship. Taurus and Scorpio are both signs that enjoy physicality, but are not especially nurturing — which may give our readers some idea of why the pair have been able to produce five children, even with Headmaster Black away the majority of the year! These children, however, will be mostly left to the care of staff while the married couple keep their relationship (likely kept alive through a vibrant string of letters) at a more adult level.

Headmaster Phineas Black Mrs. Ursula Black, his wife and mother of five children.

  

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