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Witch Weekly · September 13, 2020 – 11:41 PM

Too many ladies today confuse a childish infatuation for long-lasting love that only comes after years of partnership. Do not make that mistake.

Advice from Harmony Aidsworth
Dear Miss Aidsworth,

I am nearly one-and-twenty years old and still have yet to find a husband. I have had my fair share of suitors, and my mother says I ought to be married by now. Little does she know that I have received three proposals, all of which I've turned down for one sad, sorry reason: I am in love with a gentleman who is not yet in any position to support a family.

We became friends shortly after graduating, and I cannot help but replay scenes of our fictitious engagement and wedding in my head each night despite knowing that to accept an offer of marriage (assuming he ever intends to) would doom me to a lesser lifestyle. It is a worse heartbreak than unrequited love, because at least if I knew he did not feel the same I could make an effort to move on; but without knowing, and without being able to know how he feels without making a fool of myself, I fear I have set myself on a path to spinsterhood.

How do I move past an infatuation that so rules my life?

Sincerely,
Lady Lovelorn

Dear Lady Lovelorn,

It has been said that passion is the death of marriage. It ebbs and flows as time passes, and it is a most unpredictable force. You cannot help your feelings, but you must understand that waiting for a man who may never notice you. Love is steady and should be earned, not freely given—and it seems he has done nothing to earn yours. An honorable gentleman would never think to pursue a friendship with an eligible debutante, especially when he is in no position to support a wife of his own. He should know in doing so he may not only confuse a lady, but also dissuade other gentleman from seeking her hand.

That being said, it is my best advice to cut him from your life entirely. Do not give him an explanation; doing so may only encourage irresponsible behavior on his end if he returns your feelings, or embarrassment on your end if he does not. He should understand a lady's priorities at your age and put your needs above his feelings. It is what a gentleman does.

It may hurt, as every heartache does, but there are plenty of kind, mature, and—most importantly—financially responsible gentleman who long for a wife with such a large heart. Take every potential suitor seriously, and do not compare him to your lost love.

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