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Witch Weekly · October 7, 2018 – 3:06 PM

A Look Back At Witch Weekly History

Ever since the first issue of the magazine, Witch Weekly has featured everything from career-ending political scandals to speculated affairs. This week, Witch Weekly is celebrating its 200th issue with a review of its top five most successful features, voted on by our valued subscribers.

#5: A Womanizer for Minister
While politics are a man’s game, one could argue the fate of a particular ministerial candidate was decided by the women of Wizarding Britain during the election of 1887. Witch Weekly reported on Mr. Herschel Dawlish, the then-Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, who at the time was facing multiple accusations of the ninety-seven-year-old wizard making unsubtle attempts to flirt with a number of women despite their obvious discomfort.

Mr. Dawlish still secured a number of votes in the election, though was ultimately defeated by ten left-leaning candidate, Mr. Justin Ross. Judging by the recent appointment of Mrs. Morwenna Skeeter to the Wizengamot, it’s obvious that the Minister — who is approaching the end of his first year in office — is making strides to see more women in powerful positions.

Of course, avid readers will remember the rumors that spread throughout the gossip mills in the wake of the Chief Warlock’s death. Minister Ross was believed by some to be somehow involved in the Minister’s death, though all accusations — if there were any at all — were uncorroborated.

#4: 4 Scandals Our Seers Have Predicted For This Season
This bestselling issue of Witch Weekly covered everything from predictions that the Van Helsing family could murder an innocent pale woman to exploding dresses created by the House of Lytton!

While none of the seer’s predictions came true in a literal sense, one could argue that the “Ministry Falls Prey To Veela” could be taken metaphorically — especially considering the recent amortentia-induced marriages of head aurro Edric Umbridge to February Lynch and Barnabas Skeeter to auror Maeve Connolly.

It should also be noted that, in the same issue, Witch Weekly suggested that Mr. Skeeter and Miss Connolly would make a truly impressive match. We ask you reader's: is it a coincidence? Or was the mysterious matchmaker inspired by the article?

#3: The Most Impressive Curls!
Another favorite with our audience, this issue covered society’s most coveted curls. Among those mentioned were the devilishly handsome Benedict Sterling and the King of Curls himself, Orpheus Parkinson.

We also learned that among all the quidditch teams, the Hogsmeade Howlers is best at selecting players with impressive curls: Tybalt Kirke’s curls compliment his charming personality, while Desdemona Pettigrew’s curls make her looks slightly less plain.

#2: One Year Later... Where Are The Little Pettigrews?
Speaking of Desdemona Pettigrew, this popular issue of Witch Weekly discussed the reasons why Arthur Pettigrew and whis wife (who, at the time, were both chasers on the Hogsmeade Howlers) had not yet produced a child.

Nearly a month plater, speculation arose about potential complications of women playing quidditch — specifically, the complications of childbearing. Almost exactly a year after the article was published, it was announced that Mrs. Pettigrew would be leaving quidditch due to being with child.

While it’s now apparent that Mrs. Pettigrew’s inners were not too jostled by mounting a broom every day of the week, many still have their concerns about the long lasting effects of women in quidditch.

#1: Minister Abandoned At Alter: Lovegood Opts To Die Alone And Unloved
Perhaps not only one of Witch Weekly's bestselling articles, but also one of the most talked about scandals in recent times was the humiliation Miss Adelia Lovegood faced after she jilted the then-Minister at the alter. While the act would save her further pain and humiliation down the room, it also solidified her as Hogsmeade's sorriest spinster.

With a history of romantic blunders, it's unlikely that Miss Lovegood will ever find herself in the arms of a self-respecting beau. Her impulsiveness and indecisiveness should serve as a warning to young ladies from all backgrounds: love may be every girl's dream, but being perpetually lonely — not for your age but rather a poor reputation — is every girl's nightmare.

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Issue #200 - A Look Back at Witch Weekly History