Basil wasn’t sure what he’d expected Gus to say, even as he prattled on about not being called ‘Gus’ for ten years. My, it must have been serious then. He couldn’t imagine himself being so formal with… well, with Gus! Not after the intimacy they’d shared… Sitting up straighter in his chair, Basil waited to see if the other would finally come out with it. He was fidgeting, nervous, as was usual for Gus when he was uncomfortable. Basil worried his lower lip.
It did seem
odd for his friend to show such restraint. Basil hadn’t known Gus to hesitate about much in life, not in the brief period they’d known one another. Perhaps he was being rather too blasé about this; perhaps it had been something much more controversial than Basil was imagining. Leaning forward in his seat, he watched as the words formed themselves and fell from his companion’s lips, almost as if on deaf ears. He heard them, tried to process them, and waited - still - for something more damning to spew forth. When nothing did, and it seemed Gus was resolved to say nothing more, Basil couldn’t help it. He snorted.
It was a lot of information to process, everything that had just tumbled out into the room between them. On his quickest impulse the words
'well it isn’t’ hung, just waiting to cut through the both of them like a silver blade. Basil held them back however, knowing if he wasn’t careful, something fragile that had started to spin a web of glass around them would crumble. Instead, he coughed, hoping to cover up his snort even if it was a little bit delayed. Then, he stood and began pacing again.
So it would seem a few things had passed between them, as was wont to happen in these instances. The first was that Gus had accepted a position abroad and expected him, Basil, to either go along with it or force him to give it up. Unfair, but… somewhat practical he supposed, from that perspective. Evidently, Basil had done neither, choosing instead to put distance between them. He’d make the same choice now, and ten times over, given the opportunity.
He would not be the reason Gus gave up on his dreams, and well… Basil wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of that adventure for himself. Gus and any sentiments they might share, aside. He would hold Gus back and that would do neither of them any good. The second… was much more complex.
It would seem Gus, for what it was worth, imagined himself in love - with a man no less. With… well Basil. Here the Ravenclaw stopped in his pacing abruptly. He couldn’t help the incredulous laugh that wanted to bubble up and out. It was ridiculous; impossible - just as they’d both, apparently, already discussed. It was… mad, really. There was no such bond as that between a man and a woman that could exist between two men. It just, wasn’t biologically possible. Basil wasn’t so very in the know of how children were conceived, but he knew
enough to know it simply wasn’t - couldn’t - be quite the same. No matter how much the both of them might feel it might. That was simply a fact.
But did that fact outweigh whatever it was they did feel, enough to invalidate the word love? Basil shoved that thought hastily aside; he would circle back to it later.
“I understand now,” he finally said, not looking at Gus. And he did. He understood how something of this measure could have blown up in their faces with the wrong emotions - hurt, abandonment, anger, selfishness - all ebbing like a current behind their words. It didn’t change anything, he supposed. But at least he understood. Wringing his hands a little desperately, Basil turned back to the redhead. He didn’t know what else to say. He knew any such conversation on this topic was bound to go up in flames; especially based on the information he’d gathered already on the conversation as to what Gus felt then, and
now, about all of this. It wasn’t like his own personal beliefs had changed, it seemed, and articulating them aloud would only spur the argument over again.
Still, he wanted Gus to know that despite all of this, he knew there could be a path forward for them. He just
knew it, deep down somewhere he couldn’t scientifically evaluate. Basil opened his mouth to say something but the right words just didn’t seem to formulate in his mind. Finally, he bowed his head again and ran a hand through his hair, tugging it messily. He needed a cup of tea.
“I’m sorry,” Basil finally said.
“For everything.”
For coming into your life, for destroying your heart, for thinking this was all going to work out. And especially, especially, for today. For making both of us re-live this.
![[Image: UkiVTG8.png]](https://i.imgur.com/UkiVTG8.png)
