Zach, as always, was speaking such beautiful, hopeful truths that had Jo biting hard on the inside of her lip to keep from crying. Somehow — miraculously, really — he still wanted her above all others. Even after she'd left the way she had and returned with a baby that was most likely his but wasn't guaranteed. Zach remained as faithful to their relationship as he was throughout it, and he really shouldn't have been.

The wooden rattle fell and jo quickly retrieved it for Ilona lest she start cryng. She doubted Zach would permit them to leave, especially not after them both finally cracking and sharing their thoughts.

"Nothing is as cut and dry as you're making it seem. You might be willing to tolerate my antics, but she might not. She might come to resent her mother's continued random absences. We can't consider only what we want anymore, because now the risk is far greater." The risk was Ilona's ability to function in society or not, something Jo was too reckless to be trusted with.

Jo looked up as he stood and immediately wished she hadn't. The grief etched across his features didn't use to exist there. Zach used to be happy, jovial even. Waiting for her for the remainder of his life would only cause more of that jovial man to be stripped away. "You're too good for this." Jo told him before sharply looking back towards the table. "You're waiting for someone who leaves only carnage behind her."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as the familiar flood of panic set in. She stood then and fisted her hands on the back of her chair as she continued to try and force him to see sense. "I'm not ... I'm not worth this devotion. Everyone else has already recognized it, too. My family disowned me, my friends have distanced themselves, because they all recognized how reckless I am." Ilona was the first person Jo had ever sought to do right by, although now she wondered if that wasn't allowing her to be adopted. "How long until you see it too?"

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