Droplets of blood stained her dress as he spoke. Zach hadn't yet recognized the patterns then. He didn't realize she was just as likely to run again in a month or year if the bird on her shoulder said to. He had this beautiful, wonderful fantasy of them living here together as husband and wife with a hoarde of children that Jo couldn't understand how he remained faithful to. If anything, her leaving as abruptly as she had ought to have caused him to distrust her entirely.

Her eyes squeezed shut against his emotional display. The fact of the matter was that she didn't wish to pretend, either. Pretending and maintaining boundaries was exhausting, moreso than being the mother of an infant. However, it no longer mattered what she wanted. Everything they did now had to be for Ilona's benefit. At least if they were unmarried Zach would have the freedom he required if she ever did run again. He wouldn't be bound by law to wait for her, or worse divorce her.

"I can't allow it, Zach." Jo told him brokenly. "I ... I just can't. You deserve someone who ... I just can't be her, Zach. Because now we have her and I refuse to uproot her life every time I get nervous." Panicked was the better descriptor, not that she would admit as much to him. "It would be better for you to be open to being involved with someone else. Someone ... more suited for all of this."

It was at that exact moment that Jo realized she never intended to remain nearby forever. Someday - soon perhaps - once Ilona weaned and gained some independence Jo would leave again. It was almost as though she was looking straight into the future.

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