Valerian would have expected to find himself uneasy at the long pause between his proposal and her answer, but he found it - relieving, almost. The words left his mouth, but the magnitude of them had yet to sink in even to him. He was proposing marriage—and to Tatiana, no less, whose opinion would hold meaning in his and his family's life no matter what her answer might be. It had not dawned on him that he would fear outright rejection, but as the moments went on he begin to do just that. It was not a fear that she did not want him, but rather the fear that, somehow, she found the stuffy Macmillan more appealing than him. It was nothing a man wanted to hear.
Her answer was more of a non-answer, but it provided plenty of room for reasoning, which he supposed was the best he could ask for apart from direct acceptance.
"I believe," he began, with a brief pause of his own, seeking a concise but impactful explanation that might sway her, "that I have long based my expectations for a wife on what I see in you." It was not a lie; when he envisioned himself marrying anyone, it was a woman like Tatiana. Whether it was because she is what he desired in a woman or merely the proximity to her, he was not sure, but it was all too easy to see Tatiana as Mrs. Tatiana Macnair, especially since his mother had planted the idea in his head. "—and that to allow you to marry Macmillan without expressing those sentiments would cause me a great deal of regret." This was less true. Valerian would not be heartbroken to see Tatiana married off to Macmillan, but the thought of sharing a dinner table with the man again and again and again for the rest of their lives was enough to prompt a second proposal if she refused.
Her answer was more of a non-answer, but it provided plenty of room for reasoning, which he supposed was the best he could ask for apart from direct acceptance.
"I believe," he began, with a brief pause of his own, seeking a concise but impactful explanation that might sway her, "that I have long based my expectations for a wife on what I see in you." It was not a lie; when he envisioned himself marrying anyone, it was a woman like Tatiana. Whether it was because she is what he desired in a woman or merely the proximity to her, he was not sure, but it was all too easy to see Tatiana as Mrs. Tatiana Macnair, especially since his mother had planted the idea in his head. "—and that to allow you to marry Macmillan without expressing those sentiments would cause me a great deal of regret." This was less true. Valerian would not be heartbroken to see Tatiana married off to Macmillan, but the thought of sharing a dinner table with the man again and again and again for the rest of their lives was enough to prompt a second proposal if she refused.
