Dearest Journal,

I do not believe I ever expected that running Flint Manor would take up so much of my time. I’ve tried to remember mother running the estate and often I simply remember other things about her. Like how when she felt ill she would spend days locked in her rooms resting, or how when she would respond to letters they always seemed to be from her friends and not our servants. I suppose this perception comes from the fact that mother lived at the estate most of the time and rather than having to direct the servants over letters she could simply meet with them. She did not need to direct cook to purchase extra goods for a visit because she was not visiting she lived there. Nor did mother need to settle disputes among the villagers over letter because she lived on the land and could meet with them. I am surprised I did not notice then how very much she did and how many people she met with, but it is the only way I can see her having done as much as I feel I am often doing.

While I have no wish to return home to Flint Manor, I have begun to wonder if it might be simpler to return there and run things properly rather than through letters. I had hoped to surprise Ace with the Flint Townhouse so we might make a life there for ourselves, as memories of mother and my previous lift haunt the very hallways of Flint Manor. But with all I’ve been involved in I almost feel as if returning to the estate might be the best way to go about things. I do not want to give up the idea of the townhouse, however, and have wondered if perhaps we might spend the social season there and the rest of the year at the manor? Once the townhouse is ready I shall brave the conversation with Ace. Then I shall need to brave the memories that live there and the memory of the unhappy girl I was when I lived there. Perhaps Ace and I might find a way to breathe new life into the manor and make it ours, drive out the memories that linger from my father’s day and once again make it a happy home.

There is much to think on, dear journal, and you have always helped me do such.

Lucille