Her enthusiasm was bolstering his confidence somewhat, but his stomach was still a bundle of nerves as he tried to think over exactly how he wanted to continue. He had a vague idea of what he wanted to convey, but hadn't figured out the best way to go about it. He should have thought through this beforehand, but somehow even when he'd issued her the invitation to his flat knowing that they would be alone he hadn't quite anticipated the feeling of being here with her.
"Alright," he said, taking a breath. "This is — it, uhm, might be a little scattered, but... just bear with me, okay?" He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I — uhm, about that night." He didn't feel he'd need to specify any further than that. There was only one thing he could mean, and if she had any doubts the color in the tips of his ears would identify exactly which one he was referring to.
"So," he continued haltingly, "Growing up, I learned these rules that we have in England. The customs and the ... moral code, I guess. And then after I was shipwrecked, we ended up with the tribe, and they were entirely different. And at first I thought they were wrong — uncivilized. Savage," he said, using the last word almost tenderly. It was one he'd used extensively when he was first interacting with them, and therefore one of those that had the worst connotations for him now. It was a reminder of his own ignorance and intolerance more than any of the others.
"But after I lived with them, I realized it wasn't — wrong, necessarily, just... you know, different. So — I've questioned a lot of the things I grew up believing." Hopefully she was following him, because Alfred felt like he was getting somewhere but would likely not be able to retrace his steps. "And what I'm trying to say — about that night — is that it's one of those things I'm not sure about. I wrote you that letter afterwards and apologized and everything because that was — you know, the English thing to do — and I thought that would probably be what you wanted. Or at least what you expected. But — but I don't know if I regret what happened," he confessed, meeting her eyes as his cheeks flushed deep red. "The only thing I know I regret is that you had to leave afterwards."
MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER
"Alright," he said, taking a breath. "This is — it, uhm, might be a little scattered, but... just bear with me, okay?" He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I — uhm, about that night." He didn't feel he'd need to specify any further than that. There was only one thing he could mean, and if she had any doubts the color in the tips of his ears would identify exactly which one he was referring to.
"So," he continued haltingly, "Growing up, I learned these rules that we have in England. The customs and the ... moral code, I guess. And then after I was shipwrecked, we ended up with the tribe, and they were entirely different. And at first I thought they were wrong — uncivilized. Savage," he said, using the last word almost tenderly. It was one he'd used extensively when he was first interacting with them, and therefore one of those that had the worst connotations for him now. It was a reminder of his own ignorance and intolerance more than any of the others.
"But after I lived with them, I realized it wasn't — wrong, necessarily, just... you know, different. So — I've questioned a lot of the things I grew up believing." Hopefully she was following him, because Alfred felt like he was getting somewhere but would likely not be able to retrace his steps. "And what I'm trying to say — about that night — is that it's one of those things I'm not sure about. I wrote you that letter afterwards and apologized and everything because that was — you know, the English thing to do — and I thought that would probably be what you wanted. Or at least what you expected. But — but I don't know if I regret what happened," he confessed, meeting her eyes as his cheeks flushed deep red. "The only thing I know I regret is that you had to leave afterwards."
MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER