June 23, 1888

To Handsome,Before you assume what I intend with this letter, I request that you read it in full. My actual intent may not be clear until the very end.

I am not sorry for speaking with Miss Backus. My intentions were not to upset anyone, I only wished to understand and make my thoughts clear. I am sorry to Miss Backus that our conversation lead to a misunderstanding between her and I, and I had already long since spoken with her and received forgiveness. In all honesty, the only reason I spoke to her to begin with was because I was scared that she would hurt you. Though I doubt you believe me on that.

I am not sorry for wishing to distance myself from you when emotions were high and all I could do besides that was to argue. I had been previously invited to stay with our aunt and uncle, and in my emotional state felt it best to accept said invitation so that I may clear my mind so I wouldn't hurt our relationship further. Clearly that didn't work, as your persistance to insist upon my return only made things much worse.

I'm sure there are some sour feelings due to the fact that I sent that letter back. I never got a chance to read it anyway. I was getting a bit better before you had shown up to retreive me, but I had not been calm enough by that time to have read it. I don't know what you said, and even if it was in some way positive, I doubt you feel that way now.

I am sorry for what I said about wanting you dead instead of father. My main reasoning for having said that is due to the fact that I have felt as though you have felt the same way about me the whole time, and still do feel that way. Ever since this began it has felt as though you have wished that I have never been born, and it has felt that you have made this feeling into a reality.

It hurts because... because I do love you dearly Handsome, and the thought of you wishing for me to have never been born has broken my heart every time I see you and think of you. I know my own words and actions have effected you negatively, but I wish that you do know that I've been feeling as though the brother I love has always wished that I was never born. I've always felt that you have treated me differently from my siblings, at least ever since father died. And now I keep feeling that you just wish I had never existed at all and it does hurt so much.

So yes, I have been cold, and I will admit that. I am sorry for being cold to you, but please at least acknowledge your part in this. Please don't make me feel like more of a burden that I already feel. I know you feel like I am. I know you hate me. And I don't know if I can be convinced otherwise, but I had to at least try to put this into words. To send this to you and let you know of how I feel.

I'm all alone but I've felt alone ever since last summer. With each month I have felt more and more isolated. With a clear mind I can see that those that used to be my friends are of no fault by you, and I'm sorry for putting that part of my isolation on you for the blame while I was emotional. But you have played a role in part of my isolation.

I am sorry for my part in all of this, but I dearly hope that you at least acknowledge your own part.

With Love and Care,
Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

— He read this, proceeded to get drunk, and then wrote back. Sloppy handwriting & poor grammar included. —

23 June, 1888

Sweetie,

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned apology followed by demand for me to apology. Very touching, Sweetie.

Sincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —

June 24, 1888

To Handsome,Are you... are you drunk? Bloody hell Handsome, I don't even get the desency of getting a sober reply. It seems that once again my assumptions of you hating me are proven true. My own brother can't even try to read my letter while sober, I'm sure.

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

24 June, 1888

Sweetie,

And my assumptions were right as well. The moment you receive a response that's not to your liking, you begin pummeling me with further insults and assumptions. Typical Slytherin.

Sincerely,

Handsome

The following 1 user Likes Handsome Whitledge's post:1 user Likes Handsome Whitledge's post
   Mireille Smith

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— set by MJ —

June 24, 1888

To Handsome,Assumption?! With the growing and growing rumors of your 'delightful' drinking habit, as well as your poor grammar and writing in the letter that we were raised to not do, it is of no assumption that you were drunk. Not assumption, deductive reasoning. Not only do Slytherin's have this talent, but many who are smart are able to put pieces together from past experience to find a likely reasoning behind unusual behavior such as one writing much differently than usual. There are no tear stains on the paper, so it is quite obvious that you haven't been crying. It is you that has once again assumed the worse of me for feeling offended that my brother cares so little of me as to write me with alcohol effecting his mind.

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

26 June, 1888

Sweetie,

Merlin, you don't ever stop, do you?

Insincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —

UNSENT:

June 27, 1888

To Handsome,Do you even read what you write? Then again, what can I expect from a brother that will only ever see his side of things. I tried to see your side, I even admitted that part of this conflict is my fault, but you can't just let go of your pride. Even if it means letting go of a sister who has tried to tell you that she loves you and misses you. But what do you care? I'm worthless and am better off dead.

Sweetie

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SENT:

June 27, 1888

To Handsome,Do you even read what you write? Then again, what can I expect from a brother that will only ever see his side of things. I tried to see your side, I even admitted that part of this conflict is my fault, but you can't just let go of your pride. Even if it means letting go of a sister who has tried to tell you that she loves you and misses you. But what do you care?

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

28 June, 1888

Sweetie,

I love you and miss you, too. That does not mean I believe you're right and that I have anything to apologize for. You have insulted me, interfered with my life, and stepped out of line on far too many occasions for me to entertain your childish outbursts.

Whether you like it or not, I am in charge now.

Sincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —

June 29, 1888

To Handsome,You are at fault. You have made me feel as though my whole family wants me gone, you refuse to believe that I was scared for your emotional well being and had spoken of my fears in order to hopefully make said fears vanish, and refused to, again, see my side of things.

Stop acting like you are my father, and perhaps I may feel as though you are not trying to replace the man that I remember to be far more kind and reasonable than you.

I'm sorry, but I really don't believe that you love me. For one to love, one must have patience. You have shown none. For one to love, one must listen. You have not. Love is working together and not remain prideful, and you have stuck with your pride for so long that it seems that you may never open your heart to truly love me, your own sister. So I'm sorry, but I cannot see love where there is so much negativity towards me.

I will once more apologize for my part in all of this, but I do wish that you would rid yourself of the beast that is pride and open your heart to try and see my side of things. I do love you, but I can not see your love.

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

29 June, 1888

Sweetie,

It is not that I haven't seen your side, but rather that I disagree with it. I do not feel any of the disagreements between us have been of any fault of my own. I have done my best to keep our family together, but you have insisted on interfering, throwing fits, and acting out the moment you are faced with words or decisions you do not agree with.

I am not our father, but I now possess the same power in the household that he had. You seem to equate "keeping you in line" with "acting like your father", and if that's how you wish to see things, than I am acting like our father. Someone must keep order in the house, Sweetie, and there is no one else left to do so but myself.

If you measure my love for you by my willingness to let you roam like a wild tiger, then you might be right when you say I have no love for you at all.

Sincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —

June 29, 1888

To Handsome,If you see my show of emotions and trying to protect you, given not very well, as throughing fits and 'interfering' than you really don't see my side of things.

Don't you realize that I'm hurting from so many things over this year that its been eating away at me? I've dealt with the betrayal of once dear friends as well loss in the family, adding on isolation for most of this time.

Of course emotion is going to get the best of me, I've had no one in my life to help me cope since father died. You've certainly been no help, and our sisters and I have been having a rocky relationship until recently. You've had friends and our sisters, my only true friend is judged harshly by my brother and was banished for half the school year only to return more distant than ever!

You keep pushing on the fact that I've interfered in your life, but she came to our home and I only wished to speak with her, and we had a miss understanding. The misunderstanding part is between her and I, and I have apologized to her. She even said that she understands how I had seen things. She had patience with me. When I admitted my mistake, it was to the person who was truly wronged, the person who heard my words as insults when they were simply fears. Fears for you.

You know what, I do apologize. I apologize for caring so much about you that I wanted to talk to your friend to put my mind at ease that you were not being taken advantage of. I apologize that I worried about you enough to see an opprotuity to have a simple discussion with her while I was worried and then to have it backfire on me and, yes, receive insults from her.

But you're too stuck in your pride to realize that I've tried to move past it, and that I actually haven't 'interfered' into your life further because I've already learned my mistake. All you can see is that you have to keep treating me like a criminal as if I haven't learned, haven't paid the price that I have, and have aparently been doing the thing that I have learned not to do as if it never happened.

Oh wait, I haven't done any other actions as to 'interfer', because I have learned. But I keep getting only negativity from you from a mistake that I have corrected long ago.

As for acting out? With all that I've been through it is a surprise that I haven't had more emotional break downs than you've seen. But I haven't had more such break downs. You've seen me have a break down after you have verbally attacked me. You have seen me have one after being verbally attacked by girls that I once called friends. With all of my stress, it gets to me, yet at least I'm not drinking away as many have said that you have.

"Keeping one in line" does not equate to "being cruel and unreasonable", and you have been cruel and unreasonable. Over a misunderstanding with your friend you threated to ruin my life. Over me trying to have a bit of distance so we could move past all of this you threaten to ruin my life once more. Over me trying to work things out with you, you treat me as though I am terrible for asking for you to admit guilt that you are responisble for. You have not kept order. If you had kept order, we would have peace by now. I would be in London with our sisters by now, instead of alone in a house of a dead woman that I never truly knew.

I do not ask to roam like a damn animal. I ask that you act like the adult that you are supposed to be and take responsibilties for your own actions as I have done so with mine. You are stuck in the past of one mistake I made. You cannot forgive my emotions getting the best of me. For such that I am responsible for, I have apologized. But you have refused to. The only one that refuses to help restore order in this household, by refusing to help bring peace, is you.

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

30 June, 1888

Sweetie,

I do not care about your childish drama, nor should you expect me to. I'm your older brother, not your sister. I do not keep a detailed list of your life's happenings, nor should I be expected to — I have more important things to concern myself with than drama between you and girls whose names I've never bothered to commit to memory. It was your choice to isolate yourself; such was the case when you barricaded yourself in your room rather than accompanying the rest of your family to London. None of that was my fault.

Simply because you've failed at maintaining healthy relationships doesn't mean you can villainize me for succeeding. I am not responsible for managing your social life, nor would I care to. What sort of hypocrite would I be if I involved myself in your friendships when I'm asking you to stay out of mine?

Maybe one day you will learn that actions have consequences; no matter what your intentions may have been, they prompted tension in an otherwise happy friendship, and you cannot blame me for being angry in that moment. The resentment from that has passed; the only frustration from that incident that remains is your inability to learn from it.

I will leave you with a reminder that my relationship with our siblings is splendid as-is. The tension only exists when you create it.

Sincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —

UNSENT:

June 30, 1888

To Handsome,Bloody damn hell, did you even read my damn letter at all you idiot?! I said that I wanted you to bloody understand, not 'manage my relationships'. I'm not saying that I can't maintain healthy relationships! They began bullying me, using my trust against me! I never said you had to be responsible for the friendships themselves, only to understand how it effected me. Your sister.

I have learned. That is what I've been saying. I can blame you for being angry at the moment because you've been doing such thing this entire time to me, calling it a 'tantrum'. Should I call your actions 'tantrums' as well?! No, I shouldn't. Because you shouldn't be in the first place damn it.

You do know that Cupcake has been worrying about me dearly because of this conflict between us? Because of something that you can't possibly work with me to fix? I'm sure our other sisters are going through similar feelings. And I have tried doing my part to fix things. You, on the other hand, refuse to.

Sweetie

SENT:

June 30, 1888

To Handsome,You clearly did not read my letter at all. I said that I wanted you to understand, not 'manage my relationships'. I'm not saying that I can't maintain healthy relationships. They began healthy until my so called friends started bullying me, using my trust against me. I never said you had to be responsible for the friendships themselves, only to understand how it effected me. Your sister.

I have learned. That is what I've been saying. I can blame you for being angry at the moment because you've been doing such thing this entire time to me, calling it a 'tantrum'. Should I call your actions 'tantrums' as well? No, I shouldn't. Because you shouldn't be calling my actions such things in the first place.

You do know that Cupcake has been worrying about me dearly because of this conflict between us? Because of something that you can't possibly work with me to fix? I'm sure our other sisters are going through similar feelings. And I have tried doing my part to fix things. You, on the other hand, refuse to.

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

01 July, 1888

Sweetie,

I don't have the patience to read a letter full of nothing but criticism; perhaps we could have spoken about the matter in-person, but you decided it would be best to stay at Grandma's house while the rest of us came to London. I see how that turned out for you.

I will continue to call your outbursts "tantrums", because that's exactly what they have been. You threw a tantrum when you ran off to our uncle's home, and you threw a tantrum when you accosted me in the corridor earlier this school year.

Cupcake cares about peace above all; that has always been the case. Has she told you she plans to take the train into Irvingly to discover the source of the fog? I trust her to do such a thing because she does not have a track record of going into hysterics while under stress.

Sincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —

July 1, 1888

To Handsome,If you don't read the full letter than you truly do not want to listen. Not reading the full thing means that you only understand half of the situation and only half of my reasoning. Half of a view might as well be knowing no view at all and you know that.

If we had spoken in person, we would have been yelling the whole time, and you would have been interrupting me through half of my sentences. It would have made no difference.

You threw a tantrumm when you shouted at me suddenly and caused my poor cat to cut my hand. You threw a tantrum by barging into our uncle's home and starting an unnecessary fight. I explained in my previous letter which you only half read about what was happening to me at the time.

Hysterics while under stress? There is a difference by stress from being emotionally attacked by your own friends and family, and normal every day stress that our dear sister typically deals with.

She's going on a dangerous expedition where we may loose her? You are sending her to her death? I hate you. You let her go on an expedition that will likely get her killed. If she dies, it will be your fault and I will never fogive you.

Sweetie

  

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Magic by Lady!

Wanna be there for Sweetie during her post-election slump?

02 July, 1888

Sweetie,

I have not read the entirety of your letters because I'm afraid I've run out of patience at this point. I suggest that you go stay with our uncle at this point because I'm not taking you back into my home.

I've had enough of your insults and disobedience to last a lifetime. I will not be writing any further.

Sincerely,

Handsome

  

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— set by MJ —