To Handsome,If you see my show of emotions and trying to protect you, given not very well, as throughing fits and 'interfering' than you really don't see my side of things.

Don't you realize that I'm hurting from so many things over this year that its been eating away at me? I've dealt with the betrayal of once dear friends as well loss in the family, adding on isolation for most of this time.

Of course emotion is going to get the best of me, I've had no one in my life to help me cope since father died. You've certainly been no help, and our sisters and I have been having a rocky relationship until recently. You've had friends and our sisters, my only true friend is judged harshly by my brother and was banished for half the school year only to return more distant than ever!

You keep pushing on the fact that I've interfered in your life, but she came to our home and I only wished to speak with her, and we had a miss understanding. The misunderstanding part is between her and I, and I have apologized to her. She even said that she understands how I had seen things. She had patience with me. When I admitted my mistake, it was to the person who was truly wronged, the person who heard my words as insults when they were simply fears. Fears for you.

You know what, I do apologize. I apologize for caring so much about you that I wanted to talk to your friend to put my mind at ease that you were not being taken advantage of. I apologize that I worried about you enough to see an opprotuity to have a simple discussion with her while I was worried and then to have it backfire on me and, yes, receive insults from her.

But you're too stuck in your pride to realize that I've tried to move past it, and that I actually haven't 'interfered' into your life further because I've already learned my mistake. All you can see is that you have to keep treating me like a criminal as if I haven't learned, haven't paid the price that I have, and have aparently been doing the thing that I have learned not to do as if it never happened.

Oh wait, I haven't done any other actions as to 'interfer', because I have learned. But I keep getting only negativity from you from a mistake that I have corrected long ago.

As for acting out? With all that I've been through it is a surprise that I haven't had more emotional break downs than you've seen. But I haven't had more such break downs. You've seen me have a break down after you have verbally attacked me. You have seen me have one after being verbally attacked by girls that I once called friends. With all of my stress, it gets to me, yet at least I'm not drinking away as many have said that you have.

"Keeping one in line" does not equate to "being cruel and unreasonable", and you have been cruel and unreasonable. Over a misunderstanding with your friend you threated to ruin my life. Over me trying to have a bit of distance so we could move past all of this you threaten to ruin my life once more. Over me trying to work things out with you, you treat me as though I am terrible for asking for you to admit guilt that you are responisble for. You have not kept order. If you had kept order, we would have peace by now. I would be in London with our sisters by now, instead of alone in a house of a dead woman that I never truly knew.

I do not ask to roam like a damn animal. I ask that you act like the adult that you are supposed to be and take responsibilties for your own actions as I have done so with mine. You are stuck in the past of one mistake I made. You cannot forgive my emotions getting the best of me. For such that I am responsible for, I have apologized. But you have refused to. The only one that refuses to help restore order in this household, by refusing to help bring peace, is you.

Sweetie