5th June, 1888
Dear "Not Fond of Dancing",
Having come from a family that has its own breed of peculiarity I do believe overlooking eccentricity if something I have been trained from birth to do! I will not tell you the particulars as I believe it would be a shame if the notoriety of others should come between two people and one could hardly fail to recognise the incidents thanks in no small part to Witch Weekly itself. If I trust you at your word, and I have no cause not to, then your excellent character and superior traits should be all that matters!
As for the rest of your advertisement I can be sure of my blood, but not entirely of my mind as sometimes I worry that I fall short of some people's expectations. However, I can promise that no imperfections of another would make me think less of them and after a few seasons - I daren't tell you how many though be assured it is not a number to concern you! - I am not quite as partial to dancing as once I was.
I hope to hear from you soon, however, I have never replied to a Lonely Heart before so I dearly hope I did not get it wrong in some respect and deter you from continuing your search. Bonne chance!
Sincerely,
M.P.
no, really MJ is just showing off at this point