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Witch Weekly · August 2, 2020 – 7:25 AM

The Debutantes Guide to Pretending to Know Quidditch

With the Quidditch World Cup occuring this year, a constant topic of discussion in most social circles seems to be about one thing: Quidditch. That unmanly sport that most proper debutantes likely know very little about.

Certainly not enough to maintain an easily flowing conversation which could be a problem if conversing with an important society lady with a sponsor husband such as Mrs Ophelia Devine. Or worse, if ones beau is trying to discuss it with you and finds your lack of input offputting! Not to worry, the following are just some of the things you can do to appear knowledgeable about Quidditch without drowning yourself in a Quidditch Through The Ages textbook.

No more will you have to listen without input as someone drones on about the sport.

Learn the very basics.
The very basics of Quidditch is the fact that one team consists of seven players: one seeker, one keeper, three chasers and two beaters. It is the seekers job to catch the snitch and thus the most important player in most eyes as catching the ball called the snitch ends the game. The keeper guards the posts from chasers who try to score using the quaffle. Beaters hit balls called bludgers at the other teams players. All this alone should help you breeze through a conversation if you are able to be as vague as humanly possible.

Let them lead the conversation.
When in conversation with someone who knows a lot about Quidditch, let them be the one to lead the conversation. Pepper in some vague questions so that they feel like you are listening and paying attention to whatever it is that they are talking about. This also works for any sort of conversation that might be boring to you as well. It is most useful when entertaining a potential suitor with a deep interest in Quidditch. You'll be able to appear as though you also have an interest while you try to get that ring on your finger. Besides, most men tend to enjoy the sound of their own voice anyway.

Now you too will be able to feign interest at the current QWC!

Pepper the conversation with 'Isn't it fascinating?!
Peppering the conversation with a well placed 'Isn't it fascinating' or similiar will encourage the other person to continue speaking. Be sure not to awkwardly insert it as then you might be asked to clarify your thought! Well placed phrases, however, will give you the image of being very enthused even if you actually are not.

Familiarize yourself with the National Teams Quidditch Players names and Positions.
Considering it is the Quidditch World Cup, most people will be talking about the British National Teams rather than all the numerous Quidditch teams in existence in the league. There is a first string who are the most important people and a second string.

The captain of the National team is Esteban Zavala. The chasers are Arthur Pettigrew - who captained the National Team during the last Quidditch World Cup, Rufus Bixby and Augusta Robins. The Beaters are Beckett Longbottom and Lachlan MacFusty. Cassius Lestrange is not the first string seeker but is the one that has been playing in the games thus far due to an unforeseen circumstance in the first string seekers ability to play so might as well be.

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