Issue #258 - The End of the House of Lytton?
April 27, 2021 – 4:32 PM
The Original Fake News
April 27, 2021 – 4:32 PM
The Original Fake News
| The Face Behind Meredith Watchword? | |
| After publishing several letters from one Meredith Watchword, a woman who seems to have a particular insight into society despite her name being notably absent from it, our publication has received dozens of inquiries as to the identity of Ms. Watchword. After weeks of digging, we are now able to posit a theory into the anonymous writer behind Watchword's letters: Professor Angelica Vorona. Professor Vorona's marriage to her husband, who died in 1882, was rumored to be an unhappy one. This may account for the tendency some have noticed in Watchword's publication to disparage the married members of society, and particularly husbands who have failed their wives in some significant way. Because the entirety of her (very brief) marriage took place in Russia, the details of her relationship with her husband are not well known. Did Mr. Voron have a series of mistresses, as Watchword accused Reuben Crouch of having? Did he squander her money, as Arthur Pettigrew has for his wife? Or was he obsessively involving himself in the affairs of others as a way of distracting from his own unhappy home life, as Watchword implied was the case for Mrs. Marianne Finch? Perhaps all three, and Professor Vorona is using these anonymous letters as a way of punishing the population for the sins of her late husband.  Professor Angelica VoronaSome readers may wonder at the ability of a Professor, who spends most of her time at Hogwarts, to know so much about the inner workings of society. Watchword evidently knew things about each of the subjects of her letters which were not commonly available knowledge. Where did she acquire this insight? |
The answer is from Mr. Felix Prewett, who has notably been close to Professor Vorona since her Hogwarts days. Mr. Prewett was spotted in Professor Vorona's company during a performance of The Roses of Brittany, and the two seemed to have much more to discuss than simply the play itself. They were very deep in conversation, in a way that might have lead anyone who observed to think they had mischief on their minds. While some might assume there was an ongoing love affair between the two (and our reporters have not entirely ruled the notion out), we believe that their primary topic of conversation was society gossip, as Mr. Prewett supplied Professor Vorona with all of the knowledge she would need for future publications. Mr. Prewett has always been something of a gossip (particularly for a man), and has the investigative journalism skills necessary to follow up on hunches and suss out facts that the average person may not have access to. Mr. Prewett also had access to each of the subjects of Watchword's letters. He was a guest at the Courtly Love charity event, and may have witnessed the interaction between Miss Binns, Mr. MacFusty, and Mrs. Finch. He is friendly with Reuben Crouch, and may have either heard all of these tidings from his own mouth or picked up on context clues from being able to observe the man throughout the course of the past year. Finally, both Reuben Crouch and Mr. Prewett's twin, Fitzroy Prewett, are close friends of Arthur Pettigrew, the final subject of the letters. If Professor Vorona is motivated by her own unhappy past, what would Mr. Prewett's motivation be for helping her? Well, they have been friends for so long — could it be that Mr. Prewett has been in love with her this entire time, and now has finally found an avenue to (he hopes) endear himself to her, to make himself indispensable so that she will consider him as something more than a friend? Time will tell. In the meantime, we certainly wouldn't mind having a few more of "Watchword's" letters to print! |
April 27, 2021 – 4:33 PM
The Original Fake News
| Quiz: Which Disaster Would You Thrive In? | |
Disaster has plagued the wizarding world quite often for some years now. But what disaster would you show your best graces towards? 1. What is your experience with mourning? A) Even my great-grandparents are alive. B) I have experienced loss recently C) Sadly, I am more used to it than most. D) I was an absolute mess when my cat died. 2. What education have you had? A) I achieved my NEWTs with exceptional marks. B) After my OWLs, I received further education from finishing school. C) I entered a career after Hogwarts. D) My NEWTs were disappointing. |
 3. What house were you sorted into? A) Slytherin B) Hufflepuff C) Ravenclaw D) Gryffindor 4. What is your favorite common pet? A) Dog B) Owl C) Cat D) Toad Mostly A's: You would thrive in a fire, with your quick thinking. Mostly B's: A shipwreck would suit your best as you wait for a dashing Ministry man to rescue you. Mostly C's: Illness will certainly not keep you down. Mostly D's: Avoid disaster at all costs, you would only die or humiliate yourself. |
April 27, 2021 – 4:33 PM
The Original Fake News
| In whose hands will you trust all your fashion needs? Write to us to tell us where your next gown is coming from and why! | The End of the House of Lytton? If the calamity of the wrecked cruise liner the Santa Antonina was not already tragedy enough, society is also mourning the particular loss of Mr. Marcus Lytton, a sparkling personality, not to mention the jewel of British fashion. Mr. Lytton, both the founder and head designer of the House of Lytton, created his company in 1879. In the years since, his background in textiles, artistic eye, and charming manner have seen his fashion house flourish beyond expectation: these days one cannot attend a single ball without admiring his own work adorning every notable socialite, and none in the country have proven so formidable a rival to the likes of Worth and the best-loved Parisian designers. His funeral, hosted this week, was an extravagant marker of his successes in fashion, with guests donning their best — but with the season upon us again, we at Witch Weekly are left to wonder what the future of fashion holds...  The late Mr. Marcus Lytton, and new heir to the fashion house, Miss Camilla Lytton.
It may be early days, but ownership of the House of Lytton has passed officially into the hands of Marcus Lytton’s sister. Miss Camilla Lytton, born in 1862, is no stranger to the fashion house in either business or fashion, having catered to some select clients with apparel of her own design and having headed up their cosmetics branch. But will she prove a worthy successor to her brother? A former Gryffindor, Miss Lytton has always been bolder than her brother in colour, flair and expression, and though the House of Lytton has been renowned for its refined tastes, Miss Lytton’s customers have often leant a touch more towards the outlandish — and among some certain hits, other designs have been definite misses. Will today’s socialites truly be brave enough to take the risk of commissioning Camilla Lytton originals? Will the pressure of the House solely upon her shoulders simply prove too much for her creativity? Or has the trauma of the shipwreck wherein she lost her brother perhaps cost Miss Lytton her talent already? It may be convenient that Miss Lytton never married, which must indeed lend itself towards her passion for the business — but can a failed debutante-turned-headstrong-spinster really cater to the bulk of fashionable society? Witch Weekly is not so sure she is up to the task, so one might see the House of Lytton forced to invite in an outside designer to take up Mr. Lytton’s former clients and save fashion from itself. Or will some lesser-known designers prove themselves worthy of taking up so grand a mantle? It seems unlikely, but will Mrs. Fernsby, of the Maison Bellerose, leave her muggle and half-breed clientele behind and attempt to set her ambitions upon conquering high society? She certainly has aspiring daughters of her own on the social scene. And what of the newest import to Hogsmeade, the widowed Mrs. Lavinia Rose? Though quainter in premises - and though American styles have hardly ever been at the forefront of wizarding fashions - will the subtle but feminine work of the The Modiste Rose begin to catch the eye of more notable debutantes and socialites this season? Or will a surprising new designer appear to step into Mr. Lytton’s shoes? We can only hope that this is not yet the end of a golden age in British fashion. |
April 27, 2021 – 4:33 PM
The Original Fake News
| Have you seen or heard something around town that society simply must know? Write to us at Witch Weekly and share the news! | Heard Around Town I heard that Mister Richard Gladstone is on the lookout for a wife once more. Hopefully, whoever she ends up being does not end up dying like the last one. Redheads really are bad luck, aren't they? I attended Miss Grace Greengrass's Coming Out and merlin, that poor girl! She was choking on fruit. Is she really that hopeless or was it a ploy for attention? Were you there when Miss Henrietta Cartwrights centerpieces went up in flames? They say it was surprise fireworks that went off too early but I doubt that. Did anyone else see that odd woman at the Ministers Masquerade? She really unsettled me but I never got the chance to see who she was! I hope she does not act like that at all the events of the season. Miss Lucretia Zabini seemed to be on the prowl at the Ministers Masquerade. I swear she is putting more effort to find spouses for her children then they are themselves! I swear I saw Mister Fortitude Greengrass throwing peanuts at people with Miss Penelope Fawcett at the Ministers Masquerade. How childish and disrespectful! Isn't he the head of his household or something? I saw that odd Tycho Dodonus bloke arguing loudly in his front yard with a ghost. Over what colour they wished to have their roof be, no less. The next time I passed by their home it was purple of all colors. |
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