A Public Complaint—

I am quite appalled by the mass turnout of women, young and old, at the so-called “demonstration” on the first of this month. A demonstration of what, their right to be foolish? Matrons and chaperones, guard your young, for seeming young ladies have flocked together to crassly display political opinions in a public pageant.

I do hope your magazine will not be covering any political affairs going forward, as it only incites a willingness to riot and to forget one's proper place. Why, in my day, a woman was supposed to be the Angel of the Home. We ought not to demand things from our Ministry, but adhere to our husbands' demands. In the wise words of Coventry Patmore, I remind women all that:

Man must be pleased; but him to please
Is woman's pleasure...

What good can come from a woman with the vote? What if a woman gets the idea to disagree with her husband, brother, or father about a figure in the political sphere? Why, all family ties will be severed forever, and every marriage henceforth will end in divorce. Children will grow up undomesticated, and soon we will be living in a heathen land.

Do remind these witches where their priorities ought to lie.

Yours,
An Ideal Domestic

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To whom it may concern,

I write this letter to address a concern that I found regarding some content discussed in the #280 issue, in particular the article addressed as Young Men with Ministerial Potential: Ambitious Hearts and Political Prospects. My primary grievance being the mention of Mr. Cadawalader Selwyn being suggested as even remotely qualified for the position.

As someone with a close connection to the Selwyn family, I have it on good authority that the young Mr. Selwyn is far from a stellar example of leadership and respectability. The ladies of his own household — for whom I have had years of interaction — have often witnessed an egotistical and possessive side of the young man. It is true that I am a lady of delicate upbringing and have no experience in politics, but I would never advise my husband to vote for such a man. I will be surprised to hear if he passes his first year of auror training.

Kindly,
A Concerned Subscriber

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Dear Witch Weekly,

This weekend marks the marriage of Mr. Quincey Honeyduke and Miss Dahlia Potts — and everyone may agree, despite their large difference in years, that they are no doubt set to be a blissfully happy match. And that is all your magazine's doing!

I overheard Mr. Honeyduke admit it himself, that someone submitted a Lonely Heart to your pages on his behalf — and that he got plenty of responses, about ten young women throwing themselves at him in the replies. Apparently he gave out sweets as compensation for their troubles, but Miss Dahlia began swapping recipes with him. (I suspect that they may have been laced with Love Potion, for they seem almost too happy in my opinion... )

But if submissions open for the Lonely Hearts column again, I may have to try. I had thought the column was where all the luckless weirdos went, that it was for the ugly and odd and desperate — but if there are bachelors like Mr. Honeyduke to be won over, well then! It seems Lonely Hearts is the place to be.

— A Hopeful Romantic

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A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:

The next Lonely Hearts column will be published on 10th September. Submissions are open now* — may your heart be lonely no longer!