March 30th, 1891 — Brownhill Home, Bartonburg

The ceremony had gone well, he thought, but he was aware that it was not really his own opinion that mattered. He had been ready to marry her for the better part of a year, and he would have done so in an empty church with simple vows if that was what it took. Instead, they had as much Catholic ritual infused into the ceremony as the protestant Minister of the Church of St. Fergus would allow, which had made the procedure itself take much longer. Then, of course, they'd had the reception, which had been larger than either of them had originally envisioned. Coming from two large families would do that to you. Any other weddings they participated in in the future — for instance, the weddings of their own eventual children — would probably be just as bad, or maybe worse. Not that Walt minded. He enjoyed family and friends, and enjoyed being surrounded by so many of them. It did, however, mean that he'd hardly had a moment alone with his wife since he'd married her, and he was very much looking forward to finally having a second to just breathe.

Even when they'd arrived at home they hadn't been entirely alone, since Lucy was still home for the holiday. His parents had agreed to watch her for the evening so that the wedding night could proceed as planned, but they'd had to come over to collect her and her things and then had got to talking, which meant they were in the house for an hour or longer before goodbyes were finalized. At long last, though, it was just the two of them.

"Well, Mrs. Brownhill," Walt said indulgently. "What would you like to do now?"

Gertrude Brownhill Josie Jones

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   Gertrude Brownhill

It still hadn't sunk in. Even after the wedding (Gertrude had yet to unpack her feelings about the ceremony itself and its religious content - but it had been a lovely walk in the sunshine from her home to the church). Even after the reception - a large affair full of friends and family. As much as the intention had been to keep it small, to share her day with everyone had felt wonderful.

Even as she sat there, slumped on the sofa, in her new home, in Bartonburg - none of it felt real. After a busy day, she was glad for them to finally be alone. It had taken roughly half a second after her new parents-in-law to leave for her to move from sitting politely to positively slouching.

Even as Walt said those words...

Mrs Brownhill.

No. It definitely didn't feel real.

Despite all that though, and despite her tiredness, she couldn't help but turn to Walt with a bright smile. This was what they had been waiting for. Since she had first set eyes on him, she had felt this burning urge deep within her to just be close to him. An urge beyond explanation. An urge which had only grown in their time getting to know each other. And now finally, they were married. She could spend every day of the rest of her life with him.

Why wouldn't she smile?

"I think I want to go to bed!" she yawned, followed by a small chuckle.

---

  

It was still only early evening, so her response surprised him. He had been anticipating their wedding night, of course, but he hadn't expected her to be so eager for it (and when she said go to bed this was of course where his mind went — not to sleep). He'd expected that they might do something comfortable and cozy together first, like sharing a pot of tea and just talking, or walking through the house and looking at the photographs on the walls in the hallway and sharing stories of what their relatives had gotten up to during the wedding today, or gone to sit together in the garden and just soaked in each other's presence for a while. It had been a long day, though, so maybe she didn't have the energy for something like that. If she wanted to skip right to the finale, he certainly wasn't going to complain too terribly.

Presumably her mother had already told her what to expect — and apparently she hadn't scared her off of the ordeal entirely, so that was good. This was going to be just fine, and if there was a little nervous flutter in his stomach it was only because it was the first time and he wanted to make sure it was enjoyable for her, not because he had any serious reservations that it might go awry.

"Oh, do you?" he asked with a grin. "Then allow me to escort you upstairs."

  

Lazily, she pulled herself up from her slouch. Only the thought of being horizontal gave her the energy to move. It had been such a long day. It turned out getting ready for one's wedding actually took a fair amount of time - especially when everything had been done by hand without magic.

The thought briefly crossed her mind that perhaps this wasn't how Walt had imagined spending their first evening together. He had probably envisioned them spending time together. Being able to converse freely without the prying eyes of her family, or people at the ministry. Walt was understanding though - Gertrude was sure he wouldn't mind.

He did seem quite chipper about the idea. Maybe he too was tired.

While summoning the energy to stand, she looked to him as he smiled. She couldn't help but smile back. This just felt so right.

After a brief push on the couch, she was on her feet. "A true gentleman." she told him, offering her arm out to him.

---

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   Walter Brownhill

He smiled at her comment and took her arm. It occurred to him as he reached the stairs that he didn't really know which bedroom he ought to take her to. It was the sort of thing that was well-established after you'd been married long enough, and he'd forgotten that it didn't start out that way. Would she prefer to stay in her own bed afterwards and fall asleep without having to put on a robe and trudge across the hallway, or would she rather keep her room as a sort of sanctuary and leave all the sweat and mess to his bed? Not that he expected them to be sleeping separately tonight, but it was the sort of thing that bore thinking about. He couldn't ask her, because he was sure she wouldn't know what her preference would be, having never done it before.

Her room was closer to the top of the stairs, so he ended up there more because it meant he didn't have to make a firm decision. He opened the door and lead her inside, his stomach fluttering with nerves again. He hadn't expected to be so nervous about this, but it felt just like it had when he was twenty-nine and newly married for the first time.

"Do you want me to help you undress?" he asked her gently.

  

Before she knew it they were in her bedroom. It did feel strange to have this bedroom all to herself. She spent a few seconds, looking around, soaking it all in. Her hands reached up to her hair, and began pulling all of the pins out. This really was real, wasn't it?

"Oh, I wouldn't say no." she replied eagerly, turning to look at him, as she shook her hair down. It had been a such a hassle to get her in this dress, she had not been looking forward to getting out of it. Usually she went for dresses that were easy to get in and out of by herself, the normal course of action for a working woman. However the same had not happened with her wedding dress. She was very keen for the help.

---

  

As a widower with a daughter, Walt was more comfortable with women's fashion than most men his age might have been, so he knew right where to go when she accepted the offer. He moved behind her and started to undo buttons, working slowly but steadily. There was a tenderness to this, and even though he wasn't revealing her bare skin (they had several layers to go before that was an issue) he still felt a growing sense of excitement as his fingers worked down towards the small of her back. He smiled gently, though she couldn't see it, and then leaned in to lightly kiss her neck.

  

For a brief moment Gertrude relished in the kiss on her neck. That part of marital intimacy filled her with joy. The kisses, the hugs, just being close to one another. She had always been one to hug others. Physical affection was something she did well. Never had she felt the need to hide it away or pretend like she didn't need it.

It was the other part of marital intimacy that terrified her. Her mother had given her a basic rundown. It did not sound pleasant. All that just for procreation? Gertrude was good thanks. Literally nothing about it sounded good to her. When she and Walt were alone—

Oh.

Suddenly she realised where she was. In her bedroom. Alone. With her husband. Was it expected that they... do that straight away? In her tiredness she hadn't even stopped to think about that. Had she sent the wrong signals? Did he think that they were going to—

"Are you glad that we can finally be alone?" she asked tentatively, testing the waters.

---

  

"Mmhm," Walt mumbled agreeably. He finished the buttons on the back of her dress and moved his hands up to rest on her shoulders, starting to slip the dress off. Something in her tone caught his attention, though. Much as he might have liked to have continued with this and ignored it, he wanted to make sure what she was entirely comfortable with this. He'd hoped that once he'd started undressing her, kissing her, that she would lean into it and they'd figure out all the rest without having to talk about it explicitly, but if she had reservations that she wanted to air before they moved forward he could adjust to that. Whatever she needed to feel like this was her night as much as it was his. They ought to share this just as much as they had shared the ceremony this morning.

"Aren't you?" he asked gently. His hands moved from her shoulders to her waist, wrapping her in his arms from behind.

  

"Of course!" she replied earnestly. It was good to be alone. Yes. Definitely. As his arms wrapped around her she knew that for sure. She held onto his hands, her thumbs running across his hands.

"It's just. Well..." she started, trying to find the right words to describe how she was feeling. Normally she was excellent at voicing her feelings on things. Why couldn't she find the words. She looked down at their hands as she racked her brains.

"I'm just not sure how... how I feel about us..." was her second attempt, although her voice trailed off again. What did she call it? If she could stand in front of the Wizengamot she could tell her husband how she felt.

"Being alone." was her quiet attempt.

---

  

She did have reservations, then. Talking around them rather than being direct was unlike her, but this was a sensitive subject, so he understood her hesitation. Still, it was going to make talking through her reservations a little more difficult if she didn't want to just come out and state what they were.

"It's alright to feel nervous," he assured her. "We can take it as slowly as you want. Whatever you're comfortable with."

  

"I wouldn't say I'm nervous." she replied, speaking slowly to try and choose her words carefully. She had no idea how to explain how she felt, but nervous probably wasn't the right word.

"It's just... the idea of it... just makes me feel..." Again she spoke slowly, trying to find her words. "Just all of it. And then risking getting pregnant. I'd just rather not."

---

  

Walt listened; he was good at listening.

He was with her up until the end. He had expected that she might be a little worried about it, because it was new and she was inexperienced, but that was fine. They could work through all of that, even if it meant they both had to feel a little awkward about it at first. There wasn't a lot she was giving him to work with, from a phrase so vague and broad as just all of it, but nevermind that. They could get through to some mutual understanding about it, and he could be patient if it took a while to get there. There wasn't any need for it to happen in the next ten minutes, or even tonight, if she felt so strongly about it. He would be disappointed, certainly, but if she really needed another night or two or even a week to get her head wrapped around the idea, he could wait for her. He'd waited this long, and he could reassure her now. They could just kiss, or cuddle, until she was ready, and —

What did she mean risking getting pregnant?

It was a good thing that she wasn't able to see his face clearly, due to the way they were standing, because he was so shocked by this that he was sure his features immediately fell. But when she said I'd just rather not surely she couldn't mean —?

"Oh," he said, voice sounding a little lost. He hadn't moved, but now he was thinking he ought to, because maybe she wouldn't want his hands on her waist like they were. He bit his lip, feeling horribly conflicted about... everything... and then eventually managed to move his hands away from her, his motions a little robotic as he tried to wrap his mind around what she'd just said.

  

There were too many moments of silence after she had spoken. Gertrude waited. She waited for Walt's response with bated breath. While Gertrude was new to this whole marriage thing, she knew that this wasn't a good sign.

Slowly, she turned around to look at him. He didn't look happy.

"Walt..." she started, stepping towards him, "I know that that's meant to be part of a marriage, but..." she took a long pause, "It's what's right for me." This was the first statement that she sounded confident with, as she finally asserted herself.

Surely Walt would understand? He was always understanding. And kind. Gertrude was sure it would all be fine in the end.

---

  

"Sure," Walt agreed, too quickly and too easily. There was no part of him that wanted to agree to this, because he hadn't even managed to really wrap his head around it yet, but he also didn't want to disappoint her on their wedding night. He certainly didn't want to make her feel as though he was angry (was he?) or disappointed (wasn't he?). He didn't want to fight with her, but... he did want to at least understand, and he didn't at the moment, not at all.

"So you want to... wait?" he asked tentatively. Was that the it in it's what's right for me? He felt as though she'd skipped ahead into the darkness and he was left not just behind, but entirely unsure of which direction she was even headed.

  

Waiting. Yes, that seemed like a good idea. She supposed that they would have to be intimate at some point. It was part of a marriage from what Gertrude had gathered. Were they to ever have children they would need to. But for now? She was only just getting used to marriage. This was a big step.

"Yes." she replied, tone resolute. She was decided.

"Not forever!" she clarified quickly, "Just for the time being."

---