Now you know
That I'm a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, you're free to go

March 15th, 1890 — Holsten's Flat, London
Holsten Falk

Several revelations occurred to Jo in the week since she last saw Holsten. The foremost of them being excess wealth deeply unsettled her. Her family was wealthy enough to be able to afford educating their entire brood of children for as long as they were able to attend, but that was only due to a sheer force of will. Both her parents were dedicated to seeing their children through school, a feat others in their position wouldn't have been able to afford. Wealth was a blessing her family was lucky to have (straight from God himself, if she were to believe Tiffany Smith).

The second of her revelations was that she used those with wealth as a means to an end. No true connections were ever established with those who had mountains of galleons because she saw little point. Eventually, they would see her for what she was (a penniless harlot) and move on with their lives. Distancing herself from possible connections was yet another method of self-preservation. She couldn't mourn the person's loss from her life if she forgot about them first.

Which made Holsten's position in her life all the more difficult. Had she known the truth of his origins, she never would've involved herself to the extent she had. Their casual flings would've been limited to an one off event, and he might not even have known her name. Instead, they were friends. Jo had shared far more than she now felt comfortable with, and she had little clue how to handle their relationship going further. It wasn't as though their travels would never reconnect them — they were both predominantly based out of South America for fuck's sake. And what was she to do then, ignore him? Pretend before all those who knew otherwise that he hadn't once known her body as intimately as he had?

No. This needed to be dealt with, and soon. Jo knew now better than before how fragile life was.

Finding his flat was easy enough. The witnesses at the Beak were willing to confirm his address, and once inside the doorman escorted her to his flat. (The doorman! How bloody outrageous.) Determined to confront him one last time — to know for certain why he carried on with the lie for as long as he had — Jo banged heavily on his door.

  

It had been a week since Holsten's run in with Jo. It had been something that crossed his mind sporadically but other than the fleeing thoughts, he hadn't acted on it. He may not be the best when it came to women outside of in the sheets but he wasn't completely stupid. He knew when to wait it out and not push the limits. Either way, his mother had pushed for him to spend time with the family. That was exhausting enough as it was.

He'd been with his family the previous night, being stuck at a big dinner with his brother's fiance and her new family. Socializing and putting on the mask of a proper gentleman had left him needing some serious relaxation and downtime. He'd give home to his flat, had a cigarette or two, and indulged himself in some bottle of fancy flavored firewhiskey some of his brothers had raved about. The extra spicy drink had been just what he'd needed but it had also assured the fact that he was still asleep by late afternoon. The sound of pounding on his door was perhaps the worst way to wake up after a night of drinking alone.

With a frustrated groan, he'd rolled out of bed and pulled on yesterday's trousers and shirt. He didn't bother to button up the shirt, assuming it was the landlord coming to discuss something with him. Why he had to pound on his door, he didn't know but he loved toward the door in a daze anyways.

"Do you really need to pound on my door like that, Marcus?" he asked as he opened the door, his hair a mess of his usual waves and sleep still evident in his eyes shifting to surprise when he realized it wasn't his landlord but Jo instead.

He couldn't help the smirk that formed on his lips at the sight of her, well aware that his cared chest was on display. He was a fit man but his career had left its mark on him in the form of a myriad of scars, some big and some little. The single tattoo of a Phoenix was still there on his left pec, the other tattoos hidden beneath his sleeves and on his back. But she'd seen all those before so it didn't really matter if they were covered now.

The shock of seeing her standing there wore off quickly enough as he opened his door further and stepped aside so that she could come inside. "If you'd have owled before I'd have made myself more presentable," he said, still smirking, "But I guess you're used to seeing me in less."

---

  

Mornings, in her experience, were the worst time of day. Very few positive experiences occured in the bright light of day, and those that did rarely left her feeling good for long. Mornings were designed for the bland ministry folks — those content to go about their lives as though they were sheep following their shepherd. Zelda, for example.

Another flash of rage rushed through her at the thought of her friend. Her friend who was leaving one of the kindest people Jo ever met to die alone.

She barely registered his undressed form as she barged past him into his flat. Jo was more familiar with Holsten's scars and tattoos than she was her own, and she had just had them mapped by Alfred only two days ago.

"At least you're not in the suit." She muttered as she turned to face him. As attractive as the fitted material made him, Jo wasn't wanting to see the lie so blatantly in front of her again. No. Holsten was better off saving it for the doe eyed debutantes.

There was no containing her ire once the door closed. "Why did you lie?" She hadn't come to banter and fall into bed with him. Jo tracked his flat down for one reason and one reason alone — to understand why he hadn't trusted her. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

  

---

beautiful set by mj

Holsten couldn't help the annoyed sigh and roll of his eyes when she spoke. Whether she saw it or not, he didn't care. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with to start his day. Especially since he'd still been asleep before she had started pounding on his door.

He followed her back inside, closing his door as he went. "Good morning to you, too," he said sarcastically as he moved toward the water basin to splash some water on his face before turning back toward her and moving to sit on his bed. He stretched his arms out above him and then tilted his head to either side.

"I never lied," he answered bluntly, looking directly at her, "And you never asked." She may have told him more stories about her life than he did but that didn't make him a liar. At least, not in his mind but she clearly wasn't going to let it go.

"And I didn't tell you because I rarely tell anyone," he added with a shrug, "Would you have taken me seriously had you known?"

---

  

Pleasantries were the least of her concern in the current circumstances. Jo ran a frustrated hand through her loose waves before waving off his good morning. It wasn't her fault he slept in this morning, at least there wasn't someone in his bed. Though, Jo wasn't sure whether or not that would've been enough of a deterrent to stop this conversation.

"I didn't think I had to ask." She replied spitefully. "Then again, I've never pretended to be someone else, so what would I know?"

His question threw her momentarily. The immediate answer was no, she wouldn't have. Jo would've judged him as a pretty little rich boy who was only going to himself killed. She certainly wouldn't have given him a second glance had he shown up to the dig dressed as he'd been last week. Regardless, Jo still didn't understand why he hadn't told her after all this time. Fuck, she'd known him for years. "You should have told me."

  

Holsten shrugged off her initial question. Had she asked, he would have told her the truth. Maybe. Probably. Truth was, he'd worked his arse off to get to where he had in his career. He was a damned good cursebreaker and he knew it. But it wasn't something that he'd come by easily, not the type of career that daddy could buy for a person. And, quite frankly, he didn't want to be judged about it.

"Like I said, I don't really tell anyone," he repeated before continuing on, "Look, I don't want people to judge me for it, think that I bought my way to where I am. And before you accuse me of anything else, I worked my arse off for everything I have."

He motioned around the flat. While, yes, it was definitely a higher end today, it was still sparse in everything. The furniture was basic, the only amount of decoration was in books and a couple of relics that a customer hadn't wanted and he'd kept. Otherwise it was bare bones. "My father may have helped to get me this place initially but he no longer pays for anything I do," he said bluntly, "I can't even tell you the last time I took any of my parent's money. And truthfully, the only time they offer is typically to try and bribe me into coming home for something."

---

  

Holsten's refusal to accept his wealth was even more confounding than his wealth itself was. To have such access — such freedoms and deny its privileges was … idiotic. The money he possessed didn't inherently mean he had to give up his passions or goals. Holsten could use it to fund travels, to fund other's travels. It could do such good, and he was squandering it.

"Fine." She huffed, quite obviously not satisfied by his explanations. Hiding his status wasn't noble, he still wasn't genuine. Not like her. Not like Alfred, who was dying. "I know you're good at your job, I wouldn't have asked for your help if you weren't." Writing to him hadn't been a coy move to see him again. They could never be intimate again, and she would remain all the same. "But…I thought you knew me. Knew I wouldn't turn my back on you because of it. The money isn't why I'm pissed." It was a contributing factor, yes. She still was deeply unsettled by his family's wealth.

"I thought you trusted me, that we were friends. Clearly not, I see that now." This was by far the most emotionally charged conversation they ever had, Jo certainly despised feeling this vulnerable. Losing friendships was a common theme for her over the past five years (graduating from school did that) but Holsten was the first friend she was set to lose from her new life and it stung. "I thought I knew you." Jo sighed as her shoulders slumped in defeat.

  

Holsten really didn’t know what else to say at the point. She was still clearly angry or upset with him but he wasn’t about to crawl on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He did cherish their friendship, even beyond the physical aspects. But he was going to stand by the fact that he had never truly lied to her. Any questions that had even been asked had been answered truthfully.

“Look, Jo,” he started to say, exhausted by it all, “I don’t know what else you want me to say. I still considered us friends. The fact of my station doesn’t change that.” It didn’t in his mind at the very least. But apparently it did bother her.

“And I thought I knew you well enough to at least say goodbye,” he added. He got why she’d left. He’d have done the same thing if it had been one of his brothers but he would have let her know that he was going. It might have just been a quickly scrawled note but he’d have done it regardless.

---

  

"You would have done the exact same as I." Her boss had been informed in the morning, once Saturn and she were already miles from the excavation. The situation hadn't been handled as expertly as she ought to have done, but Jo could do little else in the heat of the moment. "Let one of your brother's send word when you're so far from home that they needed you, and then tell me you wouldn't have rushed as I had." Jo couldn't remember the last time Mars needed anything, nevermind Jo herself. The girls grew apart long before their years in Hogwarts.

"I didn't leave you. I had an emergency situation arise and did the best I could in the moment." It wasn't an apology, but it was as close as he would ever receive. She wasn't sorry she hadn't stopped to write a note, not when those precious seconds might have been the difference between catching the departing boat and not.

  

“You’re right, I would have left as soon as I could,” Holsten responded simply, “But if a note hadn’t been left before I was gone, I would have thought to send one by owl.” Why? Because he did care enough about their friendship, no matter how chaotic it may get, and wouldn’t want her to be left hanging. Something else could have happened and he’d have never known.

“Did you stop to think that maybe I was worried?” he added, not really sure if it was the best of things to say. It may seem like an admission of stronger feelings, feelings he’d never acknowledged before. If they were there, he wasn’t sure.

He rubbed at his face, the exhaustion growing more evident. “I’ll apologize for not telling you everything,” he said, eyes shifting to the ceiling, “But I’m not a liar.”

---

  

Jo had been too consumed by her grief for Mars to think of anyone outside herself. Those few weeks sailing home had seen her with one singular mission: to get home and help her sister. Jo hadn't thought of Holsten or the crew left behind, she hadn't considered the implications her and Saturn's disappearance would carry. Not until it was too late.

Still, she didn't quite believe he worried for her. Their relationship wasn't like that. They came and went from one another's lives like a summer breeze. A whisper of ecstasy for a few days or weeks and then gone again. Hell, prior to inviting him to her work site Jo hadn't spoken to him in months. Her family worried for her. Saturn worried for her. Holsten was just another fling.

"I didn't think of it." She admitted quietly before falling to the sofa behind her. Jo really hadn't come to sleep with him, not today. "She needed me. It was all I could do to make it home." Still not an apology. Not that she would. "You are, but those are your choices. I can't tell you what you're to share with the world." Jo said finally. She wasn't trying to provoke him…it was just fact.

  

Her quiet words and falling to the couch brought Holsten’s gaze back from the ceiling and to her. He nodded in understanding. He hadn’t gone through something like that with any of his siblings but he’d still like to think he’d have been courteous enough to say goodbye. Guess they’d never know. He was fairly certain that whatever they had had before would be long gone after all of this.

“Still hate me?” he asked, lips turning up into a smirk[/post]

  

"Yes." She responded, voice lighter than it was seconds before. She was still bitterly angry and incredibly disappointed. She still didn't understand why he felt compelled to hide his status from the world. But, she wasn't wealthy and none of this was her place. They were just friends.

  

Holsten would take the lighter tone as a win even if it wasn’t. He wasn’t sure what else to say or do though and he had nowhere else to be for the day. He’d made sure to let his mother know he would be unavailable for anything that afternoon or evening. That meant he could relax in his flat without getting dressed and drinking.

“Want a drink?” he asked as he stood up from his bed to walk over to a cabinet. He’d purchased the sampler of the flavored whiskeys on a suggestion so there were still other flavors to sample.

---

  

She glanced at him curiously. "It isn't even noon." Jo was dependent upon drinking, she knew it, but even that was a line for her. A beer here and there she could justify, but not whiskey. Day drinking wasn't a low she wanted to sink to.

"What did I miss in Venezuela?" She asked instead, curious to know what they found in her absence. Hopefully nothing. "Did Mrs. X find the temple?"

  

Holsten shrugged. He was unphased by the time and pulled a bottle of the vanilla infused one. It and the honey were likely to be his least favorites so he figured getting them over with would be for the best. Though he would certainly be going back for more of the extra spicy one. With the bottle in hand, he dropped to the other end of the couch from where she was and took a sip of it.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you,” he answered with a shrug, “After the awkward explanation that I had no idea where you were, I went on to finish my job. They said they didn’t need me anymore so I didn’t stick around.”

---