23 December 1894 - Lissington home
The beach stretched endlessly before them, its grey waves churning relentlessly against the shore, as if trying to clamber to claim them, too; above it the sky was restless, the pinks and purples of the sunset fading into darkness. Charlotte and Julien darted near the waters edge, their laughter carried toward him in the wind. For a second, it sounded like Sophia was standing right next to him, laughing at how silly her children were for playing in frigid water. It was hard to believe that it had been two months already since… Well, since then.
Gus exhaled as he pressed the heel of his hand into his eyes. There was no use chasing ghosts. Sophia was with Jacob now, and he had no doubts that she did not regret her decision to leave her children behind for him. That kind of love only comes around once in a lifetime.
Charlotte had Cillian tucked against her chest, but it was becoming common for her to not allow him out of her sight. Whatever she had gone through, both in the coma and at the river itself were harrowing; Gus prayed she wouldn’t lose her mind one day, but right now all he could do was take it day by day. She refused to talk to him about it, and he had half a mind to call up Vince to ask him to remove her memories, if only so it wouldn’t weigh so much on her tiny mind.
After Christmas. He’d reach out after Christmas.
Julien zigzagged around his siblings, his bare feet kicking up sand. He was the one who was holding onto hope that Sophia might floo in, although Gus wasn’t worried about him. No, he’d come to understand that his mother wasn’t coming back, but he still had some kind of family intact. Gus wasn’t going to let anyone hurt them, no matter what the cost might be.
He leaned back onto his hands, a soft hiss coming from him because he hadn’t expected it to be this cold out. But they all needed to get out of the house, although it seemed like Sophia had followed them from the halls to out here, too. She was his best friend, his confidant, and now life was so hollow without her. The person he always turned to in his time of need was the person who had left him here to figure out what was up and what was down. Gus closed his eyes, blinking back some of the tears he felt on the edge of his eyes. Not in front of the kids - Gus had to be strong for them.
He recalled the last time and Sophia were at the beach together. They had just gotten married and were drunk off their asses. Of course they needed a first dance, so they’d come down to the beach, dancing beneath the stars without shoes (and music), at least until he got his feet tangled in her dress and they’d fallen in a heap of limbs to the sand. Soph had laughed and rested her head against his chest. They stared up at the stars until they’d both fallen asleep, awakening later once high tide was licking at their feet.
Gus hadn’t expected to miss her this much. Their marriage was practical, a shelter for both of them, but her presence had been warm and steady. Without her, the world felt a hell of a lot colder. Sophia had pulled him into her world without him ever realizing it, probably because she’d done it way back when they met at Hogwarts, and now Gus was spiraling because he’d lived more days with her in his life than without. Even when they were both galivanting across the world, they always ran into each other, found time for each other.
“I miss you.” The wind rippled around him, and for a moment he pretended like it was Sophia telling him everything was going to be okay.
Blue eyes turned toward the kids, and he frowned as he saw Charlotte shiver. Gus stood up then, brushing the sand off his pants. “Come on, let’s go instead and make some hot cocoa.” He tipped his head toward the house. Julien laughed and bolted past him, Gus ruffling his hair as he passed by. Charlotte stared at the water for a moment longer before she turned, clutching Cillian a bit tighter. She reached out to take Gus’s hand in her own, and he merely squeezed it in turn.
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