May 31st, 1892 — COB Ball

Calla, even though she was old enough to be here now (for goodness sake she was old enough to debute if she'd wanted to), felt like a little girl playing dress up in one of Dahlia's hand me down dresses. It didn't quite fit her (well it fit her even if they'd had to take the hem out to account for their height difference) with the soft pink shade and frills. It was a stark contrast from her normal earthy tones and styles far more practical than for aesthetics.

She felt just out of her element enough that she almost instantly swerved for a glass of champagne. She was far too used to helping behind the scenes before events started, not actually attending them. And as unused tgat she was to balls, she was as unused to the tingly alchohol. It didn't take long th ill shes started to feel warm and Calla drifted away from the buffet to find someone she knew.

"Oh, Alice!"

Alice Dawson

  

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Having lost sight of all of her friends, Alice settled comfortably along the wall with her second glass of champagne. The first glass and the shot she'd taken upstairs already had her body feeling light and airy, almost like she was floating as easily as the bubbles in her champagne. She would have been content to remain on the edge of the room, too, alone and able to drift away with her thoughts, were it not for the enthusiastic greeting from Calla.

"Good evening," she greeted with a warm smile and a slight raise of her glass. "I didn't expect it to be so crowded tonight."

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Amazing set by Bee!

She felt her gut wrench. Why had it been Alice? Why couldn't it have been Sisse or Sloane or Maddy or Calla wasn't even convinced she wouldn't take Cameron over Alice right now. Her greeting had been fueled by an alcohol buzz but now she wanted to run away. She hadn't really talked to her friend - could she even call Alice that anymore? A friend? - since their fight back in February except when they'd had to play nice around everyone else. But then Alice was trying to make small talk, and it was too late to run away, not without drawing attention to themselves

"There were a lot of seventh years this year - I mean look at Ravenclaw," she started, looking around. Admittedly she'd been more focused on how out of place that she felt over paying attention to those around her. "And I think every alum is invited2as well. I'm pretty sure I heard my sisters talking about receiving invitations. Besides, there were quite a few girls in this year with some pretty big last names. Bet everyone's interested in scoping out the new debs - the girls to see their competition and the men, well for obvious reasons. Some of the girls already have their dance cards filled. I can't imagine ever being that popular."

  

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Despite having virtually no understanding of how the Season worked, Alice had little difficulty following Calla's thinking. Their head girl this year was a Lestrange after all, and even she knew how big of a name that was. Logically, every bit of Calla's explanation made sense, but Alice still had no other thought than how intensely crowded the great hall had become. She was accustomed to the rows of tables with space to maneuver, not this insanity where she felt as though moving an inch would have her colliding with someone else.

It was that thought that had her indulging in another long sip of champagne. Just as there was no room for personal space, there was also no room for anxiety or stress. "Have you attended many events like this? Are you permitted to accompany your sisters?" Alice asked instead.

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Amazing set by Bee!

She'd thought Alice might have taken a chance to flee then, at the end of her far too awkward rambling. But the ginger didn't and Calla's feet felt heavy and glued to the floor. "Mmm, no. Not like this. I've only ever helped set up and then I have to leave. Unless it is this, they don't really let you attend stuff unless you are out." Not that Calla even really wanted to be part of the season, but Alice had never asked what Calla's own plans were. Alice had spent the past year caught up in her own misery that after their fight, Calla had never bothered to tell the Gryffindor about the internship she'd acquired and was due to start in a few days. No, Alice had made her thoughts on her interest and priorities quite straight, even though she'd never bother to see that maybe Calla did have dreams beyond food and a broom. Dreams she'd worked for on her own and put her own sweat blood and tears into. Calla didn't even want to debut.

  

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The last genuine conversation Alice had had with Calla had resulted in her work and textbook becoming so tear stained that both were eventually illegible. Her flawless cursive morphed into messy ink blots until Alice had finally forced herself to move on from the argument. Although Calla had been right in so many ways, she also refused to acknowledge or even attempt to understand Alice's desperation to do well on her tests. Everything hinged on it — not just her life, but her siblings as well. That was a truth Calla could simply never understand.

She took another long sip, this one nearly draining the glass, before nodding her head in understanding. "At least you don't have to dress all prim and proper yet then. Another few years to avoid all the pins in your hair."

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Amazing set by Bee!

"I don't plan on debuting," she offered with a shrug. "I mean, I'll do this, but that is it." Part of her, the part that had spent years telling Alice every detail of her life wanted to spill out everything, but that part could no longer be the acting one. It had to be shoved back deep into herself to the same place where she'd shoved any traces of feelings she'd had for Alice when her friend had hurt her more than she'd thought possible. Instead, she answered with the part that offered Alice an out. If she didn't care like Calla had acused her of, then she had no obligation to follow through and ask what she wanted to do instead. It felt like a little bit of sting that Alice had picked to comment on avoiding hair pins when that was the one thing Calla had always liked. She'd done her own hair tonight into a series of twisted braids. "It isn't like I've ever been Miss Prim and Proper."

  

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Of course Calla had no plans to debut, though Alice couldn't quite see her going into quidditch professionally. It wasn't that Calla lacked the skill for it (quite the opposite) but the Hufflepuff was far too intelligent to be trapped in a sport that relied solely upon physical skill. Alice could easily imagine Calla as an herbalist or potioneer, perhaps even a magizoologist. And, fortunately for the Hufflepuff, she had every one of those options available to her.

It became apparent as Calla added her second comment that she was unwilling to allow the conversation to be a friendly one. Perhaps it was naive of Alice to hope they could all have one wonderful evening together, but she had clung to that wish with all her strength. Would it have been so terrible to ignore their issues? To drink, dance, and pretend as though everything was alright?

"Calla," Alice sighed. She hadn't the slightest idea how to address her friend's hostile tone, not with how fuzzy her head felt. "Can we be friends again? For just tonight even? I miss you and this year has been awful and I'm sorry."

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Amazing set by Bee!

At Alice's request, Calla visibility flinched, pressing against the wall as she curled and unfurled her fists slowly. She didn't want to play nice. She wanted to walk away and find another drink and Sisse or Sloane. "But you don't miss me enough to accept help," the Hufflepuff snipped, though the queasy feeling in her stomach made her instantly regret it and she had a feeling if she hadn't been fed by the warmth of the champagne under her skin she'd never have had the courage to say it.

"Look Alice, this year has been awful for me as well. Frankly, these past few years. Someone is always fighting and I'm left not knowing anything and completely out of control while it feels like my friends just drift further and further away. You were the one time something was happening that there was even an inch of something I could do. You were the only one it feel like I could keep from falling away. That's why I pushed you so much. That's why I just can't drop it. Because I liked you."

  

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"It isn't only a financial concern though." Alice bemoaned. Money was one of the largest factors, of course, but her family needed hands around the farm. With four kids in school and only younger ones remaining at home there was little room for flexibility. "They need help at home and my being in school for another two years would only delay that help. There was never anything you could do, Calla."

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Amazing set by Bee!

"I can see if my sisters or parents know of any potions or spells that will help?" Calla drawled, letting her hands fall down to flop against her sides, the noise muffled by the layers of her skirts. "It can't be too far off from the smaller scale we use? To help with soil quality and moisture levels? And I'd be happy to help over breaks as well if it would help." Maybe she could do something like that for a project in herbology as well. Playing around with the qualities of potions for plant growth.

  

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As much as Alice had missed Calla these past few months, she was grateful to have distanced herself if it meant avoiding Calla's stubborn need to cling to false hope. Studying for her OWLs was difficult enough without having to console the Hufflepuff on an already decided and discussed fate. Draining her glass, Alice placed it carelessly on a passing tray and quickly grabbed another one. This was a conversation she couldn't do sober.

"There isn't anything for you to do that'll fix this. I appreciate you for trying to help, I know you're only trying to find a solution. There isn't one. This is it for me, Calla." Alice began, almost pleading for her friend to finally hear her. If they couldn't come to an agreement now, then they likely never would again. "I want to be your friend. I want to spend time in the green house with you and wherever else you might wish to go. But I can't do that if all you're going to do is hold this against me at every meeting. It's been hard enough accepting and resigning myself to leaving school, to forgetting my dream."

"I'm barely hanging on, Calla, and I don't need someone to find a hidden way for me to stay. There isn't one. I spent all of fourth year bloody looking for a different answer. I need friends that'll still be just that - my friend." She was rambling now, her usually filtered thoughts completely relaxed with her intoxication.

"Please, either accept that this has to be it for me and be my friend or walk away. Those are the only options to choose from now."

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She tensed as Alice drowned her drink, watching the motions without saying anything. Muscle by muscle, she forced herself to unclench her body, falling back against the wall (or as much as her dress allowed her to lean, she wasn't sure how anyone found these gowns comfortable when all she wanted to do was go upstairs and change).

""We are friends, Alice," Calla drawled, unsure now of what to say. What to do. She knew what she thought. That Alice was a fool for not taking help because there was no way that with all of them working together they couldn't find something that would work. That would solve the problem. But that was Alice for you. To Calla, it felt like Alice just wanted to make herself miserable. And it wasn't fair that outof all of them, the one who cared the most and would go the furthest was the one stuck here.

"Fine. I'll stop bringing it up."

  

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"Thank you." She replied a bit stiffly. After months of arguing about it, it was difficult for Alice to believe Calla would simply allow the subject to drop completely. Calla could be as stubborn as Sloane when she thought to be.

Forcing a smile, Alice gestured towards the snack table. "Do you want to see what sort of food they serve at these things? I can't imagine the spread is as good as a school feast." Trivial, meaningless conversation was better than the alternative, wasn't it?

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Amazing set by Bee!

She would drop it, if so with great, dragging reluctance. She wasn't happy that not once had Alice ever seemed to stop to consider that she wasn't alone if she had a problem. Yes, Calla did see that she was being just as stubborn as Alice was, but she did acknowledge the ginger's concerns even if all of them weren't something she could relate to but where she'd tried to offer ways to help, Alice had never even asked anyone for help. For goodness sake, as far as Calla knew, Alice hadn't even told anyone else she was leaving and it was the Coming out Ball. They went home tomorrow.

"We can look, I wonder if they have any of those creme puff things," Calla met, thrusting her body weight forwards to get off the wall. Sisse was bound to nag her later if she ruined the structure of the dress or got it caught and pulled something. As they stepped forwards, she faltered uneasily, like she was weighing her words before she said them. "You have to tell them, Alice. We go home tomorrow and it isn't fair to any of them not to know what that means. And I'm sorry but I won't be the one to do it for you. You have to face that."

  

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"I never bloody asked you to tell anyone, Calla." Alice immediately defended. Sloane, Sisse, Cameron and Edison also all definitely knew. Alycone and Maddie would hear eventually if they hadn't already, and besides it wasn't as though she was particularly close to either of them.

Alice glanced towards Calla with frustration and heartbreak fueling her next statement. "Everyone knows, so there's nothing left to face. I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my last evening here if that's alright with you."

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Amazing set by Bee!