July 4th, 1891, Evening — Angelica's Hogsmeade Residence

She had to stop fussing. She'd dismissed the human help hours ago, preferring the solitude provided by her house elves. While the few staff she maintained were above reproach, house elves didn't make note of her increasing unease. She'd had her second bath of the day, reconsidered her proposed clothing and hairstyle at least twice, and would be needing new carpets if she didn't stop pacing her rooms. She knew something was wrong, but the 'what' was driving her mad. She'd agreed to allow him his secrets, as idiotic as that was, but his change since was the true problem. Her rational mind was aware of the signs of imminent destruction, but the source of the issue eluded her. They were approaching some sort of threshold, she could feel it, but what lay on the other side was knotting something painful in her chest.

She heard the floo in the sitting room adjoining her bedroom, her impatience flashing to nerves in an instant. Squaring her shoulders, loathing that her first reaction was tinged with the new flurry of emotion she refused to examine, Angelica managed a smile but resisted the urge to go to him. She'd taken care to replicate her appearance the night they met, his latest gift the only addition, but the firey confidence was missing. Perhaps if she'd known that night what was ahead, she would have been more careful. It was a comforting thing to think, but she knew she wouldn't have changed a step that led her to the man stepping out of her fireplace.

Wetting her lips, she forced her hands to relax at her side, doing her best to relax, to scan him for some sort of sign. "Dearest. I hope I pass inspection the second time." Angel attempted flirtation, but she could hear the hesitation in it. Merlin, why couldn't she just be silent and go to him?

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Wearing

The following 1 user Likes Angelica Selwyn's post:1 user Likes Angelica Selwyn's post
   Emrys Selwyn

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MJ made this miracle!

He ought to have visited her as planned on Wednesday night after the wedding reception, or failing that he ought to have at least sent his regrets via letter with some reasonable excuse beyond his ill temper. It had been hard to muster up the energy to do anything he ought to do on Wednesday, however. It wasn't the rejection itself, but rather the idea that she might hear about it, either from himself or from someone else. He hadn't known at the time whether the Fawleys would be inclined to tell the world what had passed in their parlor, and after his conversation with Angelica on Friday night and the letters that followed he thought there was a chance she might have gotten it out of him even if they didn't. If she was going to hear about it, he could survive it — but the idea of having to watch her expression as she learned he'd been rejected by the parents of a teenager was more than he could manage, so he'd chickened out and stayed at home. He knew that was poorly done, and the guilt had prevented him from writing immediately; he'd waited until he could find a suitable gift to smooth over the damage he might have caused.

She was wearing them tonight. That was a good sign, though he could have wished she was a little more at ease as he stepped through the floo. Emrys crossed to her and reached for her hands with both of his, his eyes drinking her in as he did. "I suppose you'll have to wait for a proper inspection to find out," he teased flirtatiously. "But so far, I like your chances. Kiss me."

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Lou made this! <3

She hadn't forgiven him. She had to remember that as she felt her shoulders relaxing. Angelica didn't resist him as he reached for her hands, no, she took the last step to meet him. Tratorious witch. Her grin turned wicked as his as eyes took their time. It wasn't his physical desire she feared lacking, he never left her questioning their carnal connection. It was everything that took feeling that left her with a myriad of questions.

Her satisfied smirk slipped as she caught her breath at his request. No, it wasn't a request at all. Damned if that wasn't what made her melt for him. She gave him the briefest of kisses before rethinking how much she was willing to punish herself this evening. Granting them both a proper kiss, she ignored the bubbling unease in her thoughts. "Do you command my forgiveness as well, Mr. Selwyn?" She questioned, her tone playful. She would rather he did and take the whole matter in his hands, but it was a ridiculous thing to think. There truly was nothing requiring forgiveness, she knew this and, hopefully, he could indulge her bruised pride. She wanted his trust more than his apologies; she wanted him. She noticed his lack of jewelry and that small detail, twisted tight in her chest. She wouldn't mention it, she swore she would let it rest, but why would he hide what she'd already seen and appreciated?

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MJ made this miracle!

The physical signs all pointed to their being reconciled already, so her words caught him a little off-guard. She'd walked towards him and allowed him to take her hands, and she'd kissed him when he'd asked her to. Had she not forgiven him already? Apparently not. Emrys considered her question as he dipped his head and kissed her neck, turning the issue over in his mind. He knew more than she did about this whole interlude, of course, so he had to try and put himself in her shoes before he could think how best to make amends to her. What did she think had happened? She thought he'd gone to see another lover, probably, when she'd surprised him in his home. The assumption itself wasn't wrong, but her potential offense at it would be misplaced. She was worried about a competitor for his attentions, perhaps, and Arthur Pettigrew was hardly that, so he was inclined to glaze over that entire incident and pretend she had nothing to worry about on that front — because, really, she didn't. Then on Wednesday, he'd foregone seeing her because he'd been embarrassed about the turn events had taken. She wouldn't have known that, but he didn't know what she would have thought about his absence. Might she have assumed it had something to do with this other lover she'd imagined?

And then to return to the original question: could he just command her forgiveness? It was tempting to try and dismiss everything that had happened in the last week, but if she was particularly upset about it he knew that wouldn't actually work, no matter what he said or did. The doubts would cling to her and strangle them out, sooner or later. It had happened before during his longer affairs, and he wanted to avoid it happening here if he could. But he wasn't sure he wanted to go the other direction and apologize, when she didn't know the full story and she hadn't actually asked for an apology.

"Well," he mused playfully, still kissing her neck. "Would that work?"

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Lou made this! <3

One of her hands left his own to cradle the back of his head and sink into the short hairs at the base of his skull. It was her intimate impulses with him that caught her off guard most. Thoughts of him could make her ravenous, but it was the little touches that did the most injury to her better senses. She knew what his hair felt like; she knew how adorably mussed it looked in the morning light and how it further endeared him to her. She was certain he could feel her heartbeat beneath his lips, knew what he did to her when he teased at her throat. She wondered if the mingled scents of them were as intoxicating to him as it was for her. She was recent enough from her last bath, she could still catch the black orchid and amber spice of her own perfume blending with the smoky tobacco and warmth of him. Tonight, she caught orange blossom and perhaps a hint of rose over the base notes that were his alone. It made her think of oriental spice markets and exotic summers; made her wonder if her imagination did the real thing any credit and if he'd ever encountered such places in his travels. There was so much she didn't know of his world and so much she wanted to ask.

She resisted the urge to press into him but led their joined hand to her hip before unlacing their fingers. They had to talk before she inevitably led him to bed, but she enjoyed his touch too much to separate from him; especially when a good part of her doubted he would come to her tonight. She couldn't help a chuckle at his question, though. "Do you doubt your powers of persuasion or my obedience?" She encouraged his continued kisses with a small hum of approval. "I am afraid there is little you can't command of me like this, Caro. Do be gentle with your power, I think it a rather unfair advantage of yours." Her tone teased, but the words were painfully spot on. She wasn't certain why, it went against the grain of her nature, but any ounce of control in his tone, any hit of powerplay did delightful things to her desire for him. It made little sense and vexed her if she focused too intently on the impacts of his words and the ridiculous things she'd imagined him saying to her in his most authoritative tones.

"Perhaps forgiveness is the wrong word," She offered him gently. She still hadn't settled on her best approach to her central concern. She was annoyed with his leaving her without a word for three days with only specters of some mystery lover to taunt her. She was angry with herself for caring at all, but it was more than that. The last time there had been any break in their communication, he'd lost three ships of his fleet. Had they not been corresponding, he could have been at sea when the damned Antonia and she wouldn't know his fate for weeks. There was so much wondering with this man, so much fear at the edges of her feelings. "Something went awry and not only can I not comfort you, but I do not know if I am the cause of your unease or if something worse had happened." She gave his short hairs a tiny tug, wanting his eyes back on hers. "I was worried about you." She finished solemnly.

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MJ made this miracle!

Emrys made a soft noise of agreement when she moved his hands to her hips, while he continued kissing her neck. It was a pleasurable activity, of course, but it was also a good distraction while she spoke — it meant he had enough time to process her words and consider his own without having to look her directly in the face while he did. Obedience was a strange choice of words — he had never asked for her obedience, at least not in as many words, and did she seem the type of woman who would be eager to give it in most matters. And her conclusion — that she was worried about him. It was touching, he supposed, but what to make of that? How to respond?

"You could never cause me to be uneasy," he responded easily. He was still keeping his tone flirtatious, hoping that between that and the way he was touching and kissing her this conversation might fall by the wayside before he had to find any real answers to her questions. He slid one hand from her hip to her backside, pulling her closer to him. He kissed the edge of her mouth, smiling against her skin. "And I think you give yourself too little credit. You are an excellent comfort to me."

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   Angelica Selwyn

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Lou made this! <3

She resisted calling out his lie, but barely. She wasn't truly surprised, no matter how much it frustrated her. She'd made him more than uneasy the other night in his study. She'd been more than uneasy after that encounter and her certainty that he would hold it against her. Still, besides his request that she not further mention the evening, he was here with her. Her annoyance with his obvious deflection was tempered by the bursts of desire that followed every kiss he trailed over her neck.

She couldn't help but answer the grinning kiss he gave her as he pulled her in. It was one thing if she failed to restrain herself and closed the gap between them; it was another matter entirely if he guided her to him. She went with a tiny hum as his hand pressed into her backside, the velvet between them only slightly dulling her enjoyment of his touch. Angel allowed her hands to wander up his arms, pressing into the muscle as she went before resting at his shoulders. "'Too little credit?' I don't believe I've ever heard that accusation." She grinned at the thought. Outside of their attachment, her confidence was rarely in question. Still, she had to look away from him briefly at his last statement. She wanted it to be true, desperately, but there was doubt lingering. It wasn't a sensation she wanted any part of. She tucked her head beneath his chin for just a moment, breathing him in as she forced her expressions back into submission. If it gave her a moment just to be held, well, what a happy accident.

"I hope to be." She followed the wish with a line of kisses from the hollow of his throat to just below his ear. She avoided touching his earlobe, the lack of gold ring a frustrating mystery to her. Returning her eyes to him, trying to lighten her words to match his, she gave him a quick peck to his lips. "I can be your comfort, my Caro. In more than words, if you allow me." She bussed his lips again, hoping the invitation to her kisses would keep him from denying her.

  

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MJ made this miracle!

Emrys smiled against her skin . If she had phrased it that way in an attempt to be provocative, he could certainly appreciate her methods... though a nagging voice at the back of his mind was worried she meant something else by this. There was still a chance that she'd let their previous interaction eat away at her, and would eventually try to pry an answer out of him. He was on guard for any attempt, and as she spoke his mind tried to see if that was her angle, somehow — if this line of dialogue would somehow connect back to that central point, and she would start to question him when he, true to his word, declined to expound on the subject.

Were they doomed, then? Had one bad interaction spoiled months of pleasure in the past and foiled months of the same to come? As much as he would have liked to believe they weren't, he had a plethora of experience with how these liaisons drew to a natural close, and this was beginning to show all the likely signs.

"I certainly would never forbid you," he said lightly, hoping that she'd only meant something physical and not... that she wanted to be his emotional confidante or his bosom companion, or something. They were a little too old, both of them, to be playing at things like that.

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Lou made this! <3

She raised an eyebrow at that, a grin tugging at her lips. "One of those delightful scenarios when I should ask forgiveness instead of permission, you mean?" The innocent tone she adopted should have been enough of a warning that she meant to toy with him. She punctuated her question with the lightest of nips to his lip, not intending him any actual pain from the gesture. Trailing one hand from his shoulder down his chest, she let her hand rest low on his belly, her fingers teasing at buttons.

"Perhaps I should show you how comforting I can be. Though, I would so hate for you to think less of me." She had a head full of questions, but she knew him well enough to guess where a push for conversation would leave them now. If she wanted him to trust her, to truly see her, she would have to take a less appropriate route. Thank Merlin she loved the less appropriate route with him. "I could be persuaded if you will allow me a little indulgence." She kept her tone light, not wanting him tearing out of her arms thinking she was proposing something a woman should never need to ask a man. "Stay with me tonight. Stay and let me thank you properly for my gift." She wouldn't beg him, wouldn't allow herself to cling or something truly disgusting like growing visibly emotional if he denied her, but she needed him with her if she was going to mend her growing sense of unease. 

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MJ made this miracle!

Emrys smiled at her stay with me tonight, but inside his mind was whirring. Two weeks ago, she wouldn't have needed to even say it; it was more common for them to stay the night when they visited each other than to not. The fact that she had to ask meant that she was less comfortable, and they were only pretending that nothing had changed. It also might hint that she had some plans for the evening if he stayed that she was feeling particularly nervous about. Of course his mind went to serious conversations she might be planning to try and force the pair of them to have, since he'd been dreading the idea of it ever since their last interaction. He hated that he was even thinking about things this way, but he couldn't stop himself. A night spent with her ought to have been something to look forward to, every minute filled with passion. Instead, he'd be on edge the whole time, wondering if she was just about to spring a trap on him.

He wavered for a moment before replying. His instinct was to keep going with the charade for as long as he could, because if he was going to lose her, he at least didn't want to be the one to back out first — to have given up. On the other hand, if the next few hours were going to have him constantly anxious about what might happen next... mightn't it be easier to make a quick escape?

Emrys leaned down to kiss her neck, mostly to avoid her looking at his face while he schooled his expression. "I'll stay," he announced.

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Lou made this! <3

It took him longer to agree to her request than it should have, but it could be a trick of the mind. That was it, she decided, it was her own nerves; not a reflection of his desire to be with her. Whether or not she was correct was irrelevant, it had to be. Pause or not, Angelica felt her body relax slightly against him at his words and kiss. Now they were back into familiar territory, thankfully. She intended to take him to bed, it was the most enjoyable way to work out her frustrations with his silence, but an accumulation of little things had her reconsidering her approach. She had no doubt a few more nudges about her concerns or doubts over the last days would incentivize him to be at his most attentive tonight, but it wasn't what he needed, she'd wager galleons on that. She needed to be the lover she'd been before her idiotic surprise appearance at his home. He'd refused apologies and avoided her words of concern, so, just perhaps, she could show him instead. She was going to enjoy the attempt regardless.

She should guide him to the settee at the foot of her bed, but there was something so predictable about that. Dropping both hands to the buttons of his trousers, she made quick work of them and the fastenings beneath. "If you mock me for what I am about to enjoy, I will be forced to hex you." Her tone was flirtatious rather than a true threat, but she gave it just the same. Giving trousers and knickers a tug down his thighs, she followed them to her knees before him. She met his eyes before taking him in hand and, with a pleased smirk, taking him into her mouth.

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MJ made this miracle!

As she continued down and began undressing him, Emrys' thoughts finally came back to the present moment and nothing else. He gave her a wicked smile at her words and caressed the side of her face with one hand. "I shouldn't dream of it. I'd only be inviting mockery on myself when I returned the favor later," he pointed out. He had always been a generous lover, and if he was staying the night he couldn't imagine he wouldn't have an opportunity to do so. It was a bit of a shame that this was happening here in the parlor. Emrys wasn't opposed to spontaneous acts of passion by any means, but it did seem a shame to put her dress in jeopardy from both the floor and the mess that followed these sorts of activities. He was exceedingly fond of this dress.

***

Some time later he'd collapsed back onto her sofa, both of them in various states of undress and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Emrys pulled her towards him, wrapping an arm over her shoulders. "I love the way you do that," he mumbled into her hair.

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Lou made this! <3

Angelica was pleased that one of her favorite gowns survived her spontaneity, the fastenings she'd been too eager to open properly could be remedied by her lady's maid with little difficulty. It was well worth it. The nearly translucent chemise she still wore should be in a bridal trousseau, but the desired effect was the same. So far, it was working.

She went gladly to him, settling into his body, a leg draped over one of his. He missed her contented smile, but she gave a tiny hum of acknowledgment. It was easier than deciding on the appropriate response to praise for such a thing. And yet, she couldn't resist the impulse. "It is a rather enjoyable skill to practice." It was a much lighter response than the morbid curiosity about his other lovers. Did she do this sort of thing for him? Did she enjoy his pleasure as Angel did or was it a means to an end? Was she half as lost in her affections as Angelica was? Damn her, whomever she was. There was another possibility with this mystery woman and, in a way, it was the most frightening prospect for her by miles.

Hand tracing senseless patterns along his torso, Angel was silent for a moment, torn on how to say what she had spinning through her head. "I love it with you," she offered honestly. She adored how she felt with him like this, but was that part of the problem between them? "But," how in all the levels of Hell did she ask this question to a man she'd been in bed with for months? "Does that displease you? My lack of inhibition about such things?" She was anxious about the answer, but she was fully curious just the same. The great irony - she could feel the blush blooming in her face and up to her ears, the question far less comfortable than anything they enjoyed together.

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MJ made this miracle!

Emrys' brow lowered in confusion, and he was too surprised by the question to even bother trying to school it into something else. Why on earth would he be put off by a lack of inhibitions? It seemed a strange question to ask given that he'd just told her he adored the act itself. This was how society trained women to think, of course, and from a blushing debutante he might have expected this. Any indication that one enjoyed a sexual act would result in diminished value. Surely between the two of them there was no need to adhere to such ridiculous societal standards, however?

"Why would it?" he asked, still trying to wrap his head around it. The typical societal line went that if women enjoyed having sex they were prone to turn themselves into harlots (ironic; if they were really enjoying the sex they were already having, they wouldn't go seeking it elsewhere, in Emrys' experience). But she was —

Oh. This was about other lovers. Emrys leaned back so that he could look at her more fully, mouth turning to a slight frown. She was asking if he thought she was the sort of woman who might throw herself at anyone who provided an opportunity. He didn't, but... maybe what she was really asking was whether or not he minded if she did. If that was the case, he had been with enough partners of either gender to suspect the answer she was looking for was yes, he minded. Jealousy was often used as a proxy for devotion.

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Lou made this! <3

The seconds of silence seemed to grow exponentially as he pondered her words, her stupid, stupid words. She should have left it alone, trusted his praise for what it was, and enjoy the rest of their night together.  When he did speak, she felt herself relax. Anything short of full condemnation for being here with him, as counterproductive as that would be to his goal of continued pleasure (she put so little faith in the intelligence of men), was a relief. She'd meant it when she told him weeks ago that Society was shortsighted and ridiculous, but it was so much easier to apply that to her beloved pirate and his bewitching earrings. She could rebel in head and heart, she'd done so most of her life, but truly living it was another matter. She was still a woman and, yes, being a widow allowed her considerable ease she lacked as a girl, but it did not fully change the expectations. She could be more easily in the company of men, forego a chaperone, and wear more daring things, but months of relations with a bachelor was still taboo. She wasn't an idiot, married women and widows took lovers every day, but that didn't mean they craved and studied pleasure the way Angel did, the same way she devoted herself to her studies in school. How could she still question such a thing?

She knew how. She knew the name of the shadow that still made her question her actions, made her question what she could feel when she touched the man holding her now. Viktor's voice was still in her head, still capable of digging in. A dead man making her question a living one, what a sick state of affairs. Still, it was her standing with her living lover now studying her far too closely that had her flushing.

"Of course it wouldn't. Please, put it from your mind. It was a silly thing to ask." She made the excuse, was ready with an apology when the absurdity of it hit her. He never acted scandalized by her desires, if anything, he encouraged her. With a huff of annoyance at her own indecision, she amended her earlier statement. "Perhaps it is silly, but it can be...difficult to find the words for such actions. Ladies are not meant to voice such things. We certainly are not meant to desire them." She made the mistake of meeting his eyes, his frown and examination making her feel entirely ridiculous. "Please don't look at me like that. I know, it sounds absurd." It was a fight to keep from burying her face in her hands, but she succeeded. Still, she averted her eyes for a moment, her own lingering discomfort palpable.

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MJ made this miracle!

While he understood the truth behind her words, it was painful to watch her struggle through her own insecurities to express the sentiment. He wasn't entirely sure that he'd been correct in his last assumption, that her question had more to do with the potential for other lovers than with the act itself, but only because he wasn't sure how to square her point about the differences between men and women in that framework. Gentlemen weren't really supposed to have a long list of lovers, either, though it was certainly more acceptable in society to be a rake than to be a harlot. Still, she couldn't have been suggesting that she wasn't bothered by the idea that he had other lovers. She looked far too uncomfortable for him to believe that, and he remembered how painfully awkward their conversation had been when she interrupted him.

"You're meant to be here in my arms," he said, reaching out to wrap his arms around her shoulders and pulling her up against his chest before she could protest. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "As long as you stay here, you can desire whatever you like, so far as I'm concerned."

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The following 1 user Likes Emrys Selwyn's post:1 user Likes Emrys Selwyn's post
   Angelica Selwyn

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Lou made this! <3