March 6th, 1891 — Dueling Tournament Reception — Hogsmeade Memorial Ballroom

It was good that the dueling tournament was scheduled for today and that he'd already promised to come and cheer Zelda on, because it offered a distraction from what he otherwise might spend his entire Saturday doing: drinking, debating with himself over whether or not he ought to write someone a letter (he still had not determined who he ought to write to, though he had narrowed it down to probably not Jo), and feeling guilty about things. It couldn't entirely distract from the guilt that had settled in the pit of his stomach, however, and while he watched the first few rounds of dueling he felt vaguely nauseous. When Zelda didn't make it to the third round, he lost all semblance of interest in the competition itself and only pretended to watch, while wrestling with the same feelings from the day before. 

He was pretty sure he was going to have to tell Zelda about this. He knew he didn't have to, technically, because nothing had happened, but the idea of purposefully keeping it from her made him feel physically ill. He still didn't really know what it meant, if it meant anything. Maybe it didn't. Maybe it would never happen again, even if Jo showed up in his flat that very night spoiling for another fight. But maybe it did mean something, and maybe it was as much of a betrayal as it felt like, and if it was he couldn't keep it from her — and what was more, he couldn't ask her to marry him until he'd told her. It would be asking under false pretenses, wouldn't it, if she said yes thinking that he had offered her his whole heart and soul, only to find out later that actually he'd nearly kissed Jo just to convince her to shut up a minute.

No, if he was going to go forward with this — if, if, and even as he thought the word it brought another desperate sinking feeling to his stomach, but it was an if, now, rather than a when, because he'd gone and nearly ruined everything — he needed to tell Zelda, and he needed to know that she was willing to forgive him. Actually forgive him, not just say it — he was sure that she would say it, but less sure that she would feel it. That ruled out any confessions through the mail, because if he was only reading her response on the page he couldn't really tell what she was thinking the way he could when the two of them were together. He had to find a way to tell her in person, where he could see her eyes; then he'd know for sure that she understood, and he'd know if she meant it when she forgave him.

Which was the unfortunate part of the dueling tournament being today: he'd come to this conclusion, but had not even begun thinking of how he might explain it to Zelda. He had particularly not considered how he might do it in a crowded ballroom... or while the Minister's wife was within earshot.

"I thought your duck was fun," Alfred said, in reference to her second duel. He was trying to be casual and cheerful, but suspected Zelda could tell it was only a facade. Maybe if he was lucky, she'd assume he was only nervous about Roslyn hovering over them like a hawk looking for mice, and not realize there was something else the matter with him. If she actually came out and asked, he didn't know what he'd do — but if his conversation with Julian was any indication, it would probably involve saying all the wrong things much too quickly and making everything worse.

  

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

Being around Alfred and Roslyn at the same time made her nervous. When her brothers didn't like Alfred Zelda could brush them off - Ari had his reasons, but as far as she was concerned Nemo and Konstantin were just pissy - but Roslyn was something else entirely. She was the Minister's wife, for one; as a second, more salient point, she had a life Zelda would like to have. Not the Minister's wife bit, but the other parts. She had interesting hobbies, she clearly loved Ross, she did not have too many children; she was confident and practical and loyal. None of this was anything Zelda had ever verbalized, to anyone - but it was true. She wanted to be more like Ros, and she wanted Ros to like Alfred, and neither of these things seemed likely to happen.

Which was fine, or would have been, except she had Jo Smith's note burning a hole in her pocket and she did not really believe that Alfred was fine, thanks and she did not know how to ask. She also didn't know what to do with him now: she was interested in the tabletop Quidditch, but wasn't sure if it was the sort of thing Alfred would be into, and she sort of hated croquet. Did she just hover in Ros' vicinity during the reception and hope for the best?! If the Minister came over she was going to wither away, she was sure; Zelda wasn't used to being around him when she was the only other Fisk.

It was easier to talk about Transfiguration, and Zelda was glad when Alfred brought it up. "Thanks," she said; she was bummed that things hadn't worked properly, but she'd liked her attempt. "I have this theory that Transfiguration is the best form of dueling magic, but that's probably because I like it best, right?"

Alfred seemed a little off, too; maybe she was reading into things too much, or maybe it was because of Ros and the Minister. Or maybe things weren't really fine, thanks and that was why.

She needed a drink or something; Zelda wished she had a champagne flute in hand.

---

  

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Alfred smiled at her comment, but worried it didn't reach his eyes. Transfiguration was fine, transfiguration was fun, but he had so much else on his mind. He rubbed his thumb over the back of his index finger and hoped as far as nervous gestures went that it would be small enough that no one would notice — at least he'd managed not to fiddle with the buttons on his cuffs, this time.

"It's definitely more fun to watch," he agreed. "But I don't think it'd be my instict if I were in a real duel." His eyes slid briefly to Roslyn at this comment, wondering if she'd take exception to it. Dueling was one of those words that could mean different things depending on context, and while he'd meant it in the self-defense vein, given the company he couldn't help but think about families challenging rakish young men to duels over their daughters' honor. The last time he'd had an actual conversation with Roslyn was when she'd pulled him into the hallway after he and Zelda had 'announced' their courtship. Evander had written later that he hoped some of the Fisks had duelled him in the streets, after being so audacious. Roslyn's conversation was perhaps the female equivalent, so of course it came to mind. He hoped (without much optimism) that she did not think he was the sort to often find himself on the receiving end of challenges to duel.

He could not imagine trying to tell Zelda about Jo Smith while Roslyn was watching, but he wasn't sure when he'd have another opportunity. With her sister's wedding planned this month, Zelda (and her chaperones) were too busy to entertain him at social events, and it wasn't as though he was going to be invited to any family affairs leading up to the wedding. He might not see her again until April, feasibly, and he didn't want to sit with this guilt for that long. Maybe he could get her away from Ros, if only for a minute?

"Do you want a drink?" he asked, hoping this was that sort of party. He desperately wanted one.

  

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

"It'd probably still be my instinct," Zelda said, with a wry smile. Was something wrong with Alfred, or was she just being over-worried because Jo had been so clearly annoyed with her in that latest letter? If he was off, and she wasn't just being nervous, maybe it was just because he wasn't friends with Jo anymore. Should she just try to be funny and charming and hope that once she got Alfred to laugh she wouldn't be nervous about the nuances of his expressions?

"I could go for a drink," Zelda agreed. She stood on her toes for a moment, trying to identify a tray - her height was not particularly helpful here, and it wasn't like Ros could be much more helpful there, as Zelda had a few inches on her. At the very least a drink could alleviate some of the pressure of being with her elder sister.

---

The following 1 user Likes Zelda Darrow's post:1 user Likes Zelda Darrow's post
   Jupiter Smith

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Zelda stood on her toes, and despite how Alfred was feeling he had to smile briefly at that. He loved Zelda in a deeply emotional and intellectual way; loved her ideas and her interests and the way she made her points. He also loved being around her, though. Her verbal ticks and the little physical habits and the way she wrinkled her nose when she made certain facial expressions delighted him, and when he caught her doing one of those things she always did he couldn't help but smile. She was it. She was everything. There was never going to be another girl like her.

He'd been hoping for a drinks table, so that he and Zelda could walk over to it and be out of earshot of her sister for maybe three minutes, but when he followed Zelda's lead and looked around (not standing on his toes), he realized he was out of luck. Waiters with trays, it seemed. Alfred moved to the nearest one and took two glasses of champagne. He turned to look back at Zelda, but hovered there until she walked to him. This only won him a few feet, between them and Roslyn, which was not enough time or space to tell her. Maybe it was enough for him to tell Zelda, at least, that there was something to tell her. If the two of them were on the same page about trying to slip her chaperone for a few minutes, it was more likely to happen... and this was Rosslyn Ross' party, wasn't it? So maybe she would be too busy to hunt them down right away.

"Hey, there's something I want to —" he started as he handed Zelda her drink. He left off abruptly as Roslyn drifted back within hearing range — not too busy yet, it seemed, to be a diligent chaperone. He couldn't say something I want to talk to you about in earshot of the Minister's wife; she'd get suspicious. He also couldn't handle Zelda asking him about it, because he'd probably just end up blurting out the truth.

"How are your sister's wedding plans coming?" he asked, before Zelda would have a chance to respond to his half-sentence.

The following 2 users Like J. Alfred Darrow's post:2 users Like J. Alfred Darrow's post
   Jupiter Smith, Zelda Darrow

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

That she would be dueling once again tomorrow was no small shock to Roslyn Ross, who had not expected much in the way of victory during the tournament she had helped to organize. Unfortunately, the victory she wanted (the dissolution of any understanding between her sister and Mr. Darrow) seemed far less likely to materialize. With Xena doing a lap with her husband-to-be, Roslyn was left to chaperone the less-than-desirable lovebirds, a duty she did not relish but did take quite seriously.

A duty made more difficult by the fact that she was also the de facto hostess of the evening, but as one of ten children, Roslyn Ross certainly knew how to multitask.

The words wedding plans reached her ears and Roslyn felt a knot develop in the pit of her stomach. Surely he wasn't—no, the witch chided herself, even Alfred Darrow would not be so foolish.

Just to be safe, she rematerialized at her sister's elbow, firing Zelda a warm smile and Mr. Darrow a polite nod.

  

---

— #PrettiesByMJ —

Zelda followed Alfred and took the drink, quirking an eyebrow at the start of a sentence - except he cut himself off, and asked about the upcoming wedding. Perhaps because there was Ros, right next to her, and smiling at Zelda. Ros was not nearly so neglectful of a chaperon as Katia was, of course - not as openly hostile as some of Zelda's brothers, either, so things could be worse.

She wanted to ask what Alfred had been about to say, but instead focused on the wedding. She could talk about it endlessly, both because Xena was about to do dinner theater of Zelda's worst fear, and because her bridesmaid duties gave Zelda an (ugh) front-row seat to the whole thing itself.

"Xena's settled on white with blue highlights for the bridesmaids, so that should finally be done after we go to Lytton's this week," Zelda said, rolling her eyes at the mention of the errand. She took a sip of her drink. "And she's got a permit for the weather charms for the reception and the ceremony now, too, so that's settled. I think there's mostly decorative notes left, maybe?" She frowned, glanced towards Ros - who had actually been married and therefor knew all the moving parts better than Zelda did.

---

  

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Alfred knew little enough about weddings that Zelda's response went fairly over his head. He had been to his fair share of them, since the extended Darrow family was a large one, but he had never been involved in planning one. Mostly in his youth he'd arrived back in the country with just enough time beforehand to buy some appropriate wedding gift before attending. The only one he'd been involved in at all had been his sister's, and even then he'd been absent for most of the planning. Hopefully whenever he was able to ask her, Zelda would want to take the lead on most of this stuff... or else wouldn't care whether or not they had it, which would have been his preference. Weather charms for the ceremony and the reception seemed like a bit much. Of course, he kept offering to elope with her if she could stand it, so maybe his internal barometer for what constituted a bit much was off. Weddings weren't so much for the people getting married as they were for all of the guests, anyway, so it didn't much matter what he wanted.

He recalled, suddenly, Jo saying probably best you don't invite me. He bit the inside of his lower lip and wished he'd asked Zelda about something else, when he was trying to change the subject. He didn't know enough about weddings or care enough about her sister for this to be properly distracting for him, and it was too close to what was already on his mind. It was probably what was on the minds of most of the Fisk family, though, and now that he'd asked it would have looked strange to change the subject again. And Roslyn Ross was still here, standing at Zelda's elbow.

"I didn't realize it was so complicated," he admitted. "But I suppose her fiance isn't half so busy as she is? Men are shielded from this sort of thing, aren't they?" Hopefully he was correct and this came across as a joke; if Mr. Bixby was incredibly involved in the whole thing he imagined it could come across instead as though he were expressing his own disinterest in wedding planning. Which... well, he was disinterested, but he didn't want Roslyn thinking that about him.

The following 1 user Likes J. Alfred Darrow's post:1 user Likes J. Alfred Darrow's post
   Jupiter Smith

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

"Yes, I think so," Zelda said. She swallowed what she could have added about Mr. Bixby - that he was old, that she was convinced Xena didn't love him, as well as the neutral facts of his having a daughter from his first marriage who was older than Zelda - with a sip of her drink. Whether or not Roslyn agreed, which maybe she did, Zelda didn't know - this wasn't the sort of thing she could verbalize, not in public, and certainly not at a party Xena was attending, too.

(Why wasn't Ros hovering with Xena? Zelda knew why, of course, but it was still frustrating.)

"Also, Xena's - always had a series of opinions about weddings," Zelda added.

Meanwhile, Zelda had spent her childhood and much of her teenage years planning to never marry; had not wanted to be a debutante, had in fact organized her N.E.W.T. classes and her early career around avoiding the issue entirely. Now this was weird to think about; she had wanted to be contrary, she had not been prepared for the bustling noise of her house in her childhood to taper down to a quiet nothing, she hadn't expected anyone to love her back, she was in love. She wanted Alfred, the way he poked fun at his friends and messed his hair up without noticing. She wanted to be done, with courting and the insecurity of it.

She did not want a large wedding in Ottery St. Catchpole, but she would have one if it meant they could be settled. Zelda bit her lip and took another sip of her champagne.

---

  

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Now he really regretted choosing this subject when changing the sentence, because there was nothing he could think to say to that. Well, there was plenty he could say, but most of the normal conversational responses involved asking Zelda for her opinions on weddings, which he didn't think would amuse her sister. That, and it would be too painful for him to hear Zelda talking about her future wedding when it was no longer clear whether or not she would want him to be a part of it. No, if they were going to talk about weddings he wanted to be able to engage in the conversation with her, or at least feel optimistic about what she was saying, and he wasn't up for pretending on either count, at the moment.

The only other remark that came to mind was your family has a series of opinions about everything, but he thought that would at least earn him a death glare from Roslyn, and possibly she might step on his foot. Or maybe worse — she was moving on to more duels tomorrow, so presumably she was good at hexes. Maybe he ought to have been relieved she hadn't dueled him in the street last summer after he and Zelda had started courting.

Alfred looked at his champagne glass and twirled the stem between his fingers, briefly. He hadn't ever really cared for champagne, because you weren't allowed to drink it as quickly as he would have liked. Now, when he desperately wanted a drink, this fault on behalf of the beverage seemed particularly egregious. He could imagine it had been chosen particularly to make people like him feel unwelcome. This is a champagne party. It's not meant for you.

He sighed. He rubbed the edge of his shirt sleeve with his thumb, nervous. "Did you get my last letter?" he asked, already knowing that she had. This was the only way he could think to bring up Jo without saying her name, though, and he couldn't just openly say anything about her while Roslyn was standing right there.

The following 2 users Like J. Alfred Darrow's post:2 users Like J. Alfred Darrow's post
   Aldous Crouch, Jupiter Smith

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

Zelda would have rather kept talking about Xena's wedding than talk about their letters, which was unusual for her, and was entirely because of the letter from Jo, balled up in her pocket, as well as because no one was ever fine, thanks when they said they were. (As someone who had claimed to be 'fine' via letter before - well, she knew it usually meant you were stewing on something, and neither of them would tell her what.)

She wished she'd taken the opportunity to tell Alfred about the breaking of the glass, one of the few things Xena was doing that Zelda actually wanted at her wedding - it could be a difficult little tradition to articulate to wizards raised in more mainstream cultures, but she thought that Alfred may respect it, might get it. But they were talking about letters now, and therefor about Jo, and she couldn't exactly change the topic now.

"The second one from yesterday? I did," Zelda said with a nod, not wanting to ask more about it or say anything about Jo with Ros around. She glanced down at her champagne, before glancing back at Alfred - sometimes when she had a drink in her hand and she was nervous she could find herself drinking it too quickly so that she had something to do with her hands, and she was nervous about that happening here.

---

The following 1 user Likes Zelda Darrow's post:1 user Likes Zelda Darrow's post
   Jupiter Smith

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Alfred was suddenly wishing that he had written this all down in a letter, though not because he would have had any intention of sending it. He couldn't have just sent something like this off into the void and then sat around waiting to hear how she reacted, only to eventually be met with a few sparse lines on a page to try and decipher. Rather, he was wishing he'd written it all out because at least then he would have known what it was he wanted to say. It was hard enough trying to say anything at all with Roslyn hovering like that; it was even harder when he wasn't even really sure where he was trying to go.

And Zelda hadn't given him much to work with, in her response. If she had said something like oh, the one about your friend? he could have used that to steer the conversation, knowing at least that they had a shared (albeit cryptic) vocabulary for what was to follow. Instead, she'd just said I did which put the ball solidly back on his side of the court. Was that a signal itself? Was she trying to let him know she didn't want to talk about it? He didn't blame her. He didn't want to talk about it, but felt he had to, before he could do anything else.

"Yeah, that one," he said lamely. He fidgeted with his cuff again. "I — uhm —"

He flushed. He had no idea what he was doing.

"That pumpkin spell you used was pretty creative," he said suddenly.

  

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

Even though she was worried about drinking the champagne too quickly, she took another sip before saying anything else - Alfred was flushing which meant he was probably nervous, and until she knew what he was nervous about Zelda didn't think she would be at ease. There was something going on - she just didn't know what, and she was not, actually, sure that she wanted to. Turning his life upside down, like she wasn't giving up anything for him, like Zelda wasn't trying, too.

"Oh," she said, about the pumpkin, "Thanks, I thought it was clever." She tapped her finger against her champagne glass. If she'd been able to just flit over to his apartment still, she probably would have yesterday - but she'd gotten the letter too close to the end of the day, couldn't manufacture an excuse, and now she was trying to figure out how to talk in front of Roslyn - and she was not even sure that she had reason to be concerned.

"Was there another letter?" Zelda asked.

---

  

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Asking about another letter was only logical, given that he'd brought it up. It made him wonder if she'd entirely missed his purpose in bringing up the letters at all. Maybe she had, or maybe she wanted him to think she had. Maybe she was trying to telegraph her unwillingness to engage in this sort of cryptic conversation. He would have understood that — it was the worst possible time and place (and company) to unpack all this, but he didn't know when they'd have another opportunity to see each other.

"Uhm, no," he admitted. He twirled the stem of the champagne flute. He still hadn't taken a drink of it yet. "I was just — thinking. About — uhm." He watched the bubbles drifting to the top of his glass. "Well. How I said it turned out you were right."

  

---

MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

Was it too soon for her to take another sip of champagne? It was probably too soon for her to take another sip of champagne. Zelda refrained, but kept on tapping her finger against the glass. "I still don't, um - " she paused and frowned, watching Alfred watch the bubbles in his glass "- I still don't entirely understand what you meant by that."

---

The following 1 user Likes Zelda Darrow's post:1 user Likes Zelda Darrow's post
   J. Alfred Darrow

---

AMAZING set by MJ

Roslyn pursed her lips, well aware that the pair had devised their communication so that she could not know what they were talking about. It was practical; had Roslyn lasted more than a few weeks on the marriage market, she surely would have indulged at some point herself.

As an elder sister, though, it was quite vexing.

"Mr. Darrow," Roslyn spoke up at last, "I wonder, with spring so near on the horizon, if you have any plans to set sail?"

Literally, figuratively, sail, evaporate, whatever.

The following 3 users Like Roslyn Ross's post:3 users Like Roslyn Ross's post
   J. Alfred Darrow, Jupiter Smith, Zelda Darrow

---

— #PrettiesByMJ —