October 8th, 1890 — London

Rescinding her promise to Lachlan via letter was perhaps the most vile act Fallon had ever committed in her life. When confessing her decision to choose Jesse the first time, he'd forced her to promise she would break the news in person. He hadn't wished to be surprised in a letter (who would), and yet, here she was, sitting with her head on her desk after sending Minnie with her final farewell. Lachlan would never reply to it, she knew, but she silently prayed to whatever spirit guided the universe that he survived. Fallon meant it when she said his death would destroy her, and, regardless of their relationship, that would never change.

She didn't know if Malou was home, in truth she hadn't thought to check. All Fallon had thought of after watching Minnie fly away was how desperately she needed to be comforted. Jesse. She needed Jesse. He wouldn't judge her for doing it through letter, or if he did he wouldn't call her out on it. Not when it was his final pleas that had changed her mind for the second time.

A second letter and treat was waiting for Minnie when the small owl returned a short while later. She didn't know whether or not Jesse was working late, on call, or home, or whether he'd be able to come at all. But, she had to try. There was no point in considering him hers if she couldn't reach out in moments like these. She would be there for him just as readily were the situation reversed.

She readied herself for his visit as a distraction from her rising emotions. Her hair was brushed and twirled over one shoulder, her pajamas dewrinkled. The bed was made neatly with a second pillow duplicated from the first, as he would hopefully be spending the night. Fallon, still not wanting to face Malou presently but knew she had to least warn her roommate of a male visitor, then ducked out of her room and left a third note for Malou on the counter explaining. Ordinarily, she might've left in in her friend's bedroom, but on the off chance that was where Malou was hiding Fallon didn't want to risk it.

At long last, she was back in her bed with the door cracked open halfheartedly re-reading a case file when he finally arrived. "Hey," Fallon greeted with a smile as she stood from the desk to quietly lock the door behind him. The room had been magically soundproofed in the event things took a different turn from the way Fallon was expecting tonight to go, but she didn't dare risk Malou missing the note and attempting the most obvious route of entry.

"Long day?" Their letters hadn't flowed much in their day and a half apart, though Fallon had spent more time out of the office than in today. Stepping forward, she then closed the distance between them with a tight embrace. Merlin, she really needed a hug.

  

Jess had spent the last couple days wondering if he'd unintentionally made things too hard for Fallon, if he'd pushed her to do something she was going to regret, but then the flashbacks of their night together flooded in and how much they'd admitted to one another. He couldn't doubt what transpired the other night, though it hadn't been his intentions, he couldn't bring himself to regret it. He had tried to be the bigger person, to let her go and be happy, but she'd come back around to him and he wasn't going to make that mistake twice.

Work was a decent distraction as always. They'd been understaffed in his time out and now it felt like he was working double time to make up for it. Minnie had found him half asleep at his desk finishing up a report. She'd taken off before he could jot down a reply that he'd be there soon, but it really was less than an hour later when he'd filed the last documents and taken off into the floo.

Debating on whether to go home first or head straight to Fallon's, he decided the fifteen minute detour to his own place to ditch today's robes for something more comfortable and pack clothes for tomorrow just in case, was worth it. Her note had said to go straight to her room, and the instant he stepped out of the fireplace, he booked it to Fallon's room. He enjoyed Miss Skovgaard immensely, but did not want to waiver under her disapproving gaze tonight. Finding the door ajar, he slipped in quietly and shut it tight behind him. He barely had time to set his bag down before she was locking the door and wrapping her arms around him. "Hello Beautiful." He sighed quietly.

Returning the embrace eagerly, he rubbed her back gently. "Yeah, sorry it took me a while to get here. I was still at the office. You?" He felt like it was as loaded question, but he did want to know.

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The tension slipped from her shoulders as his arms wrapped around her. Her guilt was a lighter load to bear when he was around, a constant and steady reminder of why suffering through it was worth it.

Lachlan had blamed her for taking the easier path, had told her it wouldnt always be this way, but she had since learned how readily she disagreed with that sentiment. These past two months with Jesse had already proven difficult in their own way. They had worked through a disappearance, misunderstandings, and, most recently, a near break-up. And yet, here they were, choosing one another once again as they were like to do. Whatever she and Jesse had might have appeared easy to an outsider, but Fallon now knew first hand just how much work went into it.

"I understand." And she did, too. Work was among Fallon's first priorities in life and she would never blame him for being there rather than with her, so long as he granted her the same grace. The instant he attempted to thwart her career they would be facing another difficult path, a fact she took no pleasure in.

Taking a deep breath, Fallon pulled back to look at him. "I ducked out early." She'd put in enough late hours in the past two weeks to earn one afternoon free. "I wrote to Lachlan explaining everything. I couldn't- she broke off and bit her inner lip to keep her emotions in check. Right decision or not, it still felt so wrong, so final, so heartbreaking. Once the wave subsided a minute later, Fallon continued, "I couldn't tell him in person." She tried to last time and it wound up with them fucking on his sofa. Fallon didn't want to risk it again. "How terrible does that make me?"

  

His grip on her tightened a little when she revealed that reason behind her early day. Had he known, he would have tried to get there sooner. Work was not his end-all, be-all, though he thoroughly enjoyed his job, he could've put it down for her.

This was new territory though. Jess had fully expected to be on MacFusty's side of this situation and he probably wouldn't have appreciated a letter over having the conversation in person. Of course, that said, she had tried to end it with him in person and then everything had changed. Not that he thought she would change her mind at this point, but he wasn't willing to take the risk. Nor was he going to say anything either way about it. "I understand." Was all he could summon in response. "It's not easy." But he would be there to support her through that heartbreak and then hopefully they could move on stronger for it.

He peered down at her, frowning slightly. "It doesn't make you terrible, it makes you human." None of this had been easy on any of them, least of all Fallon. Jess understood that just because their relationship now had a solid chance, that she wasn't going through some heartbreak about the potential of what could have been elsewhere.

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Human or not, it was an awful thing to do to someone. Lachlan was about to receive the letter thinking it was some happy note from her, only to be whammied with grief in response. She was a bloody coward, but it was the only way out she could think of that didn't involve a potential switch again. Fallon wanted Jesse, she wanted their lives together. It was only her fear of hurting Lachlan and her obvious attraction for him that had caused the first switch.

She nodded. As she thought, Jesse wouldn't openly critique her, not now anyway. "You still love me?" Fallon asked, not doubting it but needing to hear the words all the same. "Now that you know I'm only human?"

  

He could tell she was struggling and the last thing he wanted to do was make anything harder for her. All he could do was support her through it however she needed him to. Hopefully he could maintain the steady course they were already on. Jess maintained that everything moved at her place always, though he was staying to think he might be able to start anticipating want upcoming changes. Plus he has as couple things up his sleeves here and there.

"Still very much in love with you." He assured her with a soft kiss to her temple. "I'm not into mermaids or vampires or anything." He added to lighten the mood. Jess was still learning where to push and when not to with her, but it would get easier and easier, if that he was certain.

Content to hold her until she was ready to let go, he looked about her room with a little more attention now that he could see it fully lit. Nothing much surprised him that he could see, but he did notice the all too familiar files of the ministry on her bed. "Brought some work home with you, did you?" He pointed out curiously.

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"Oh, darn," she joked as she stepped back from his embrace to give him space. "Did I forget to tell you I'm a ghoul?" Already, she was being readily distracted from the misery of informing Lachlan. There would be tears eventually, she was sure, gross sobs that consumed her almost as terribly as the ones she had cried to Malou, but for the moment Fallon was content to be near him, to be talking about nonsensical things that mattered naught.

The files were all closed, thankfully. While Jesse was also a ministry employee, he likely didn't possess the same security clearance as she. Some things would have to stay confidential for now, unfortunately. "Yeah, I was trying to distract myself by proofing the old fart's notes." It was almost as though he had refrained from filing a single paper in her absence. Fallon couldn't wait for the jackass to retire.

She moved to the bed and bent to scoop them up into a neat pile rather than the jumbled mess. "Had to do something to stop thinking about his reaction."

  

He looked at her in mock alarm. "I would have assumed banshee..." Jess raised his eyebrows suggestively, alluding to their night together and her volume towards the end. He was only teasing of course, looking to get her to blush. He certainly hadn't minded in the slightest.

Ah the old fart. Jesse had a screening suspicion this was one of the same coworkers that Gabe often complained about as well. "Moriarty then?" The guess had to be right, but who knew, there could have been multiple cranky old curmudgeons in her department. Watching her organize her things, Jess settled his own near the wall, nudging off his shoes to set everything in a neat pile out of the way.

He plopped himself on the end of her bed, watching her more intently now at the second mention of her letter to MacFusty. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't technically sorry, but he did feel bad that this had been so hard for her. "It's fresh, it'll sort itself out in time." Hopefully. He would hate for this to haunt her permanently.

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Banshee...? If not for his expression Fallon wouldn't have known what he meant. Though, when the realization sunk in a split second later it was all she could do not to turn scarlet red. She was grateful for the dim lighting then, for even if he noticed her flush he wouldn't see how tomato-like Fallon had become.

Torn between revealing her self-consciousness and hiding behind a false bravado, Fallon landed somewhere in the middle and only offered a slight chuckle in return. "First trouble, now banshee. Have you any other interesting nicknames for me?" Her tone, while confident, betrayed the mild insecurity she felt. Were they meant to remain silent during such activities? Merlin, she couldn't fathom how.

She sat on the bed near him and rolled her eyes. "Yes, bloody Moriarty." The rat bastard would be retiring soon, he hoped, but until then he remained a fixture of the status quo and treated her no better than a secretary. Fallon hadn't worked as hard as she did to be a bloody secretary. "He saved them all for me during my absence," she groaned with a gesture towards the moved pile. "Merlin knows he wouldn't know how to fully close a case if he tried."

Jesse wasn't wrong about Lachlan, but it didn't make her feel any better. She didn't know what he was capable of interim of time healing his wounds and now. Sighing, she leaned her head down on Jesse's shoulder. "Doesn't make it any easier now," Fallon admitted quietly. "Thank you for coming tonight."

  

The satisfaction at tinting her cheeks the same color as her hair caused him to chuckle. Her follow up comment had him flat out laughing. "Depends on what what pops up to earn one." He replied causally, one eyebrow quirked in amusement. Truthfully he was very much looking forward to the opportunity to see what what he could elicit from her.

"Gabe complains about him too, can't wait for him to retire." If anyone in his office was like that, he'd have already driven them out. Sometimes they just didn't know when their time was up. "Jackass. Hopefully he goes soon." Would make Fallon's life— and Gabe's much easier.

He sighed quietly as she rested her head on his shoulder. He reached out to run his palm down her leg, which was the easiest thing for him to get his hand on without being awkward. He leaned down to rest his head atop hers. "Always here for you, Trouble." Even though he didn't know what to say sometimes, if all she needed was for him to be physically present, he could easily handle that.

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An amused laugh filled the air between them as she contemplated whatever other nicknames she might earn. Trouble was her favorite thus far, though with only one other nickname to choose from the choice wasn't difficult. She stayed resting with her head on his shoulder but hooked her hand around his well toned arm and hummed in agreement. There was plenty of time yet for her to earn more nicknames.

"Me neither. I already have a few awful prank ideas to pull on him." Perhaps now that she was connected to Jesse Gabe would be willing to help. Complicated pranks always ran smoother with a second pair of hands. "There's definitely one exploding quill in his future for sure." A basic prank but hilarious nevertheless.

Fallon lifted her head from his shoulder to brush her lips against his softly. Her heartbreak would fade in time with her reliance on Jesse. "I love you, JP." She whispered into the kiss.

  

The conversation of her abiding coworker was reminiscent of their early letters and Jess couldn't help but to smile fondly at plotting Moriarty's future ire. "I'm sure Gabe and I can be of assistance." He'd happily be part of the payback. It was less suspicious if it came from out of the department anyway.

Smiling into the kiss, he let his free hand drift to her hair, running his fingers through the red locks gently. "I love you too, Fallon." He breathed out against her lips, eyes meeting hers. Jesse hadn't had any expectations for this evening, what it was he'd really been waking into, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought a little romance might be on the docket. He couldn't wait to get his hands on her again, but also knew she might be all over the place emotionally and he would never push for anything she wasn't in the mood for.

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If she were being honest with herself, Fallon would've been forced to admit that prior to Jesse's arrival romance and all its delicacies were the furthest thoughtd from her mind. She had wanted a comforting hug, a moment to breathe him in without the heavy guilt or sorrow which now lodged in her heart. However, Malou could've offered such a hug without needing to reroute her entire evening. Malou could've ran a comforting hand through Fallon's hair and she might have been alright for the moment.

But, as she leaned further into Jesse's kiss, Fallon realized it wasn't the hug she sought but the distraction. Heavy thoughts were difficult to keep at the forefront of her brain while in Jesse's presence. He had a habit of taking her miseries and making them easier to bear. The talent was just more reason why she loved him so, and why she knew him to be the right one for her. Merlin, she just hoped she could one day provide the same.

Leaning heavier into the kiss, Fallon shifted to better face him and gripped his shoulder to steady herself. While she didn't think they'd progress to sex tonight (using him as a coping mechanism was so bloody wrong) some heavy petting could be tolerated, right?

  

The weight of the moment was not lost on him and Jess knew he had to tread carefully after last time. His only goal tonight was to be whatever it was she needed. Everything was so new, the wound fresh, so he could only follow her lead from close behind. He was happy to be a distraction if it meant he got to spend more time with her. Jess honestly didn't mind, as long as she wanted to be in his company as much as he wanted to be in hers.

She repositioned and he followed easily, sliding one arm around behind her to pull her in closer, nearly into his lap, (which would probably be easier). Giving her hair a little tug, he loosened his grip almost immediately after, determined not to get too ahead of himself. There was nothing quite like the feeling of having her in his arms, but he wasn't sure this was exactly what she needed at the moment and there inlaid the conundrum. With that plan in mind, he did his best to keep the tone of the kiss up to her, meeting her wherever she was at. Jess had little doubt that she'd tell him what she wanted if that wound up being the case.

Jess could be perfectly happy to kiss her all evening if that's what wound up happening. Gently he nipped at her lower lip, pulling back only briefly to catch his breath, catching her eye for a quick moment before leaning back in.

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Try as she might, Fallon couldn't force the parallel of being pulled into Jesse's lap from her thoughts. Lachlan had snuggled her countless times in the same position in the cave, his hands a heavier weight around her than Jesse's presently. The position was still comfortable, still perfectly natural, but she couldn't relax into it like she would have liked. Fallon tangled her fingers into the hair on his lower neck and broke apart just long enough to straddle him instead. At least when she was sitting like this she couldn't compare his touch to her once lover's.

Pale blue eyes met warm brown darkened by lust, and Fallon knew herself to be a goner for the night. Distractions or not, love or lust, it all mattered naught when they were this close. She mouthed along his jaw to just below his ear and left a tiny mark to be concealed in the morning. Merlin, she was going to have to talk to Selwyn about a whole new sort of concealment charm.

"I want a better memory than the other night," she told him in a near whisper after drawing back enough for their gaze to meet once more. "One that isn't tainted by heartbreak."

  

Despite his decision not to get ahead of himself, he was now struggling to keep up with her. He smiled to himself as she left a little bruise on his neck. He hissed out his approval as his hands became a little firmer on her back, sliding down to give her bum a good squeeze, pulling her body closer to his in the process. As he slid them back up, the made his way under the fabric of her pajamas, rough hands finding soft, warm skin.

Her request surprised him a little bit. Though their last night together had been fueled by an emotional whirlwind of the impending heartbreak, it hadn't actually ended that way and he couldn't bring himself to regret or want to change what happened or how it happened, but that would have to be a difference he kept to himself. He hadn't been the one caught in the middle, just the end result, and he didn't feel guilty over anything.

It was hard to feel much of anything though, other than the bubbling desire when she was this close, in his grasp, body warm against his, asking for exactly what had been on his mind a few moments ago. He supposed a do-over was in order, if that's how she truly felt. Fortunately for her, he was not out of tricks just yet.

Unable to articulate an appropriate response, Jess gave her an understanding nod. "Don't be afraid to tell me if you don't like something or want to stop." They certainly didn't have enough practice together to know exactly what the other liked just yet, but that was half the fun, trying out something different each time. As his hands wandered over her back, his touch not quite as gentle as last time; Jess was well aware he was not holding a delicate flower. She'd already set the tone to be a little rough, so he could easily return the favor. He leaned in, lips pressed firmly against her neck as he dared to dip a little lower across her collarbone, grazing his teeth along freckled skin. He brought one hand around to undo a couple of buttons at the top to give him a little more access, but didn't undo them all just yet. Tonight they really did have all night and he could take his sweet time.

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