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Reuben Crouch · January 28, 2020 – 4:05 PM

14 February, 1890 — this party

Ben wasn’t hoping for much with this party. Get some free drinks, maybe some food if what they were serving was any good, and try to avoid being reminded of Melody Finch, whose wedding was looming. Any day now, she’d been married — and forever inaccessible, if her somewhat archaic views on fidelity remained unchanged. She’d been out of his league forever, of course, so this really shouldn’t have changed anything — but somehow, it did. At least, he felt like it did.

The servant who’d taken his cloak had said something strange. Something that, if Ben was understanding him right, was meant to imply that the dance had been set up in such a way that there were lots of places to disappear to during the night — and very few chances of being seen. Why tell him that? Had his reputation preceded him, or did he just have a rakish look about him? Either way, he felt that he ought to be offended, but he honestly didn’t have the energy for it.

A little food and drink had lifted his spirits considerably, and he'd spend a fair bit of time dancing, chatting with friends and acquaintances, and indulging in a little casual flirting. He was just starting to think he might have some fun when he saw her. Ben averted his gaze, hoping she might not have noticed him yet. There was nothing to be gained from further conversation, he thought, particularly not at this stage. He didn’t want to cause a scene. She might even be here with her groom-to-be, and the last thing Ben wanted to do was make his acquaintance.

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*Melody Crouch* · January 29, 2020 – 12:24 AM

Melody had pleaded with her mother to allow her to attend tonight's party. 'A Last Hurrah' to see her friends. The wedding was less than a week away, and, while Melody would still be able to see her friends, every aspect of her life would be different. Events were to be attended on Samuel's arm, a trophy to show off to his ministry colleagues. Already, the simmering resentment left her with a deep pit of unease in her stomach. She was worth so much more than to be some bastard's wife, not that the cold man leading her into the sunset colored manor.

Within minutes, Melody had excused herself from Samuel and made a beeline for her friends. Most brides were usually excited throughout the week leading up to the wedding. There were the last minute preparations, the final dress fittings, the (rude) guests who responded well after they ought to have. She was supposed to watch over the careful packing of her belongings (of which, she paid no mind to with the exception of her books) with nervous laughter as to what the future would hold. It was supposed to be the best week of her life, and instead Melody greedily drank whatever glass happened to be floating past her to numb the pain. In five days, her life would be bound to Samuel's for eternity and there was nothing she could do to stop it. All she was left to do was watch in resentful silence as everyone but she found love tonight.

The free flowing drinks had her feeling warm and fuzzy when she first spotted Ben hours into the party. Her cheeks flushed and a soft smile spread across her face. For the first time since that frigid night on the roof, Melody felt a surge of unadulterated happiness. Without thinking of the consequences or the scene she may cause should Samuel spot her, she found herself crossing the room directly towards him. There were whispers floating around the party about hidden rooms and isolated corners; perhaps such fantasies were true. Their last goodbye was devastating and carried an air that finality that she refused to accept. All Melody wanted was one more conversation with him. One more moment where she was free to be herself without the overwhelming pressure of Society.

"Hi, Ben." She greeted warmly as she stared directly into his eyes. One of the servants had whispered to her about that too. And tonight, Melody was going to hope they were right.

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Reuben Crouch · February 1, 2020 – 3:56 PM

This girl had no sense of self-preservation, Ben thought — or, maybe, she was just past caring about getting herself in trouble or making any sort of scene now that all of the details were firmly decided. It would take a hell of a lot, he reasoned, to have the wedding called off now. So what did it matter, from her perspective, who she talked to?

Except it mattered for Ben, because he knew that nothing good would come of this. There wasn’t any closure to be had, or anything they’d left unsaid that would have been better spoken. The only thing talking to her would do would be to open the wounds up again, to make them all the fresher when he inevitably read the announcement of her wedding in the paper later this week.

“Hi,” he answered, with a sigh of defeat. What was he supposed to do now? Were they supposed to make small talk? Ben felt his energy depleting at just the thought of it. “Hope you’re enjoying your evening,” he said, voice rather empty.

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*Melody Crouch* · February 1, 2020 – 4:34 PM

This...was a bad idea. Watching his expression fall made Melody realized that with stark clarity. He would have married her in another life. They could have been happy if things were different. But they weren't. Everything was decidedly the same, except Melody was more willing to be selfish now. Besides, Ben was the one to bring up stolen moments after her wedding, wasn't he? He was the one who found the most obscure potion, which resided in a hidden pocket on her dress. Ben had wanted to be part of her happiness, hadn't he? At least before she flatly refused him.

A door appeared and opened behind him, and a rather flushed couple hastily moved from it. Were the servants right then? "Come with me." Melody didn't wait for his response before pulling him into the small room. Her overwhelming desire for another moment with him greatly outweighed the threat of Samuel noticing. One kiss in a shack and a sad night on a rooftop weren't enough to survive a lifetime of unhappiness. They wouldn't be long, she was sure. And if they were, it wasn't as though the wedding would be called off now. Not when the preparations were complete and it was a mere waiting game for the day.

She turned back to face him, suddenly unsure of what to say. Her confidence gone in the quiet of the room. This was still a terrible and risky idea. "I...I'm sorry...I just. I miss you, and when I saw you I didn't think. I'm sorry. You can go if you want."

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Reuben Crouch · February 1, 2020 – 4:51 PM

Ben hardly had time to think as she pulled him along. He hadn’t even noticed this room before, despite having been stood only a few feet from the door, apparently. Perhaps there was some magic at work to keep these things hidden — but that didn’t entirely remove the possibility of discovery, to his mind. If the hostess had set these things up, she’d done it with some sort of motivation, and it hadn’t been to just give all of her guests a pleasant evening and a chance to talk privately every once in a while.

“I —” he started, as the apology poured out of Melody’s mouth. “What would happen if someone saw us together?”

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*Melody Crouch* · February 1, 2020 – 5:04 PM

The hostess had devious intentions, of that Melody was certain. Why else have the staff go around informing the partygoers of the hidden rooms? Tomorrow's news might very well feature her moving into the room with Ben. Except, would it really be that awful if it did happen? A scandal large enough to shock her parents was likely her only way out of the marriage. Samuel wouldn't be seen wedding a hussy, and her parents couldn't force him. This stolen moment was perhaps her only way out of the marriage.

"I know...I know." She acknowledged with a wave of her hand. This was a foolish plan. For all she knew the hidden door would appear while they were still in the room and some other partygoer would find them. "He's awful, Ben. I mean - he's just...awful. And then I saw you and you were promising me happiness once and I...I didn't think." She wanted him to stay, if only for a few minutes, but she wouldn't force him.

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Reuben Crouch · February 1, 2020 – 5:14 PM

It was hard for Ben to follow exactly what she was saying as she spoke. He felt like he was lagging a half-second behind where her thoughts were jumping. They were talking about her fiance, who was awful, apparently, and then — was that a reference to the last conversation they’d had, on the rooftop? If it was, what did she mean by I didn’t think?

‘Promising her happiness’ was a bit of a stretch, at any rate. He’d tried to do everything he could to give her a fighting chance at it, that was true, but everything at this point was up to her. He’d already handed over the potion, and she’d made it clear that his role in her story would end on her wedding day. Unless that was what she meant when she said I didn’t think? Had she reconsidered his offer before she’d even exchanged her ‘I do’s?

Tentatively, with a glance backwards at the doorway to make sure it was firmly closed, Ben reached out and hugged her to his chest. “Shh,” he said soothingly. “Slow down. What’s going on?”

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*Melody Crouch* · February 1, 2020 – 5:39 PM

Whether it was due to her rapidly growing nervousness or her lowered inhibitions because of the wine she'd consumed tonight, Melody sank into his embrace all the same. "It's all wrong." She complained into his chest. The wedding was looming over her like the blade of a guillotine. A perfectly clear before and after. Samuel was cold and obedient, a proper gentleman. Melody had been forced to endure his company throughout the past month, and he was rarely warm towards her. The only time his stiff demeanor changed was when they were alone, and even then it lasted for a minute at most. He was Ben's polar opposite, and Merlin. She missed him.

"I saw you tonight, and for the first time in months I wasn't miserable. And then I remembered what the server said and I just thought - I don't know what I thought. I saw you, and I only wanted to spend a minute with you." Her rambling continued as she remained in his embrace. When was the last time she felt this comfortable? The party mattered little, the wedding mattered even less. Melody wanted little more than to soak in this last minute with him. Who knew when they would find themselves alone again? This was certainly their last opportunity before the wedding anyway.

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Reuben Crouch · February 1, 2020 – 6:41 PM

It felt like a chasm was opening in Ben’s chest. Being in this space with her and being so close to her, knowing that this wasn’t something he’d be able to do ever again, was bad enough. Her words were salt to the wound. The last thing he wanted was to hear that she was miserable. He’d tried to do everything in his power to prevent that, but — of course — it hadn’t been enough. He wished he hadn’t had this moment. Wished Melody hadn’t approached him at the party and pulled him in here, or confided anything in him. Wished these little rooms didn't exist, or that none of the waitstaff had bothered to tell either him or Melody.

He really should have found something else to occupy him, during the time between their meeting on the rooftop and her wedding. Anything would have done. He could have left the country, or started a new hobby, or hell, even gone on a bender and ended up soaked in alcohol and regret. It still would have been better than opening the wound like this when there was nothing he could do to fix any of it.

But they were here, and Melody didn’t need to hear how much it hurt him to be here — she needed comfort. With one arm still wrapped around her, Ben reached his other hand up to lightly stroke her hair. “Okay,” he said simply. “I’m here. We’re here. Let’s take a minute.”

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*Melody Crouch* · February 1, 2020 – 10:59 PM

Her spine, rigid with tension after all she had endured throughout the month of their separation, softened in his embrace. Slowly, like a purposeful exhale, the panic her body was harboring lessened. How was it fair that the man who could bring her such great comfort wasn't a man worth marrying? She would never be happy in anyone else's arms. Were one element of either of their lives different, they could potentially have a chance. It was all entirely unfair.

In less than a week's time, Samuel would own every piece of her. She would have to bend to his will and mold herself to best fit his needs, but there was something she could give Ben. A part of her that Samuel could never reclaim. A fantasy she could cling to when the final piece of her spirit was chipped away. Melody lifted her head from his shoulder to look up at him. Surely, he wouldn't refuse her this?

Without thinking it through any further, Melody stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

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Reuben Crouch · February 2, 2020 – 12:06 AM

Ben hadn’t really known what to expect from this stolen moment — a long-winded complaint about her affianced, probably, or some sort of panicked discussion about what the future would hold, or maybe just tears, and he would just hold her until they eventually subsided — but the kiss surprised him. It wasn’t a bad sort of surprise, though — Ben could never imagine saying no to kissing her, so as the shock gave way he kissed her back, softly and sweetly at first but with growing intensity. He wasn’t sure whether he’d made the shift or she had (if it had been him, he certainly hadn’t consciously intended it), but the kiss was quickly moving towards passion. The ache that he’d felt in his chest just a moment ago was being replaced by stirrings of longing. His mind was quick to jump to imagining what might be, and her proximity only made it easier. He could feel her body up against his, and could nearly feel the way it would move in response to his touch. Merlin, he wanted this.

But it didn’t matter what he wanted — what mattered, in the moment, was what Melody needed from him, and Ben was certain it wasn’t this. He broke off their kiss, already breathing a little more heavily. “Melody,” he began. “What are we doing here?”

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*Melody Crouch* · February 2, 2020 – 5:30 PM

What are we doing here?

Was she doing it wrong? The few kisses they had shared were her only experience to go off of, but it hadn't felt wrong. In fact, kissing him was the only thing from the past few months that felt right. Kissing him was like moving the final piece of the puzzle box into place all over again.

"I...I want to …" she failed to put into words what she needed from him. Melody wanted memories untouched by the grief their parting left her. She wanted to give herself willingly, even if it was only once in her life. She wanted him to hold her as he would every night if he could. "Please."

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Reuben Crouch · February 2, 2020 – 5:35 PM

Ben frowned as he looked down at her. Under another set of circumstances, that might have been confirmation enough for him. If he had been drinking and she was just some girl he’d been flirting with for a while, certainly. With Melody, though, less than a week before her wedding, the stakes were just too high. He couldn’t in good conscious just let them slip down this path, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to take back anything that happened tonight, and that she very well might regret it.

Would he actually refuse her, if this was what she wanted? He didn’t know. But the first thing he had to do was find out whether she really wanted him to touch her, kiss her, hold her like this — or whether she just wanted comfort, and was willing to sacrifice a few things in order to get them from him. He slid his arms off of her back and to a more neutral position on her arms, not wanting to push her in one direction or the other when he asked his next question.

“What do you want?” he said carefully. He felt as though his heart had stopped beating as he asked it; everything hinged on her answer.

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*Melody Crouch* · February 2, 2020 – 5:41 PM

Melody gave him a puzzled look as he pulled away from her. Was the answer not obvious enough? Tonight was one brazen action followed by another on her part, and he was the one who required clarification? While Melody believed him when he said that he didn't sleep with her, his damaged reputation didn't come from being Mr. Prim and Proper. Of all people, Melody never once thought Ben would be the sort to stop her.

Still, little could steer her from her determination. The wedding was going to happen, there was little she could do to stop that now, but she could do this. Melody hadn't allowed herself much throughout this ordeal. She stopped arguing with her parents and hadn't willingly sought out Ben in months (the rooftop was entirely his doing and the shack was mere circumstance). Tonight, she would grant herself the grace to make a foolish decision. Tonight, under the guise of romance and slightly blurred thoughts, she would have this moment with Ben.

"You." Melody answered earnestly. Her answer had been the same ever since that night in September. Ever since he stopped her from leaving. "I want you."

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Reuben Crouch · February 2, 2020 – 5:55 PM

Ben watched her face as she responded, meeting her eyes. He supposed he was willing himself to see beyond her answer, right through to whatever she was thinking. It didn’t work. The words she’d given him were all he had to go on — and while the implication was certainly clear, Ben wasn’t sure it was enough to make him feel good about this whole situation.

He sighed. “I just — I have to be sure,” he said, still meeting her eyes. “I don’t want this to be something you regret. I don’t want me to be something you regret — any more than you already do, anyway,” he added with a frown.

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*Melody Crouch* · February 2, 2020 – 6:27 PM

Her arms dropped from his grasp completely. When had she given him the impression that she regretted him? If anything, it was the other way around! "I don't regret you." Melody said heatedly. He was the one who wouldn't marry her! He was the one who proposed every solution but the most obvious one!

"He is going to own me. I wanted - I was trying to give you the only piece of me I still could. He gets to have everything else, I want you - us - to have this." She stepped closer to him though made no move to touch him again. Her gaze never moving from his own.

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