This wasn’t landing, was it? Not landing well. He clocked it from the wild look Vince gave him, the way he stayed silent for too long, the way he took a deep breath (the blonde resisted a strange impulse to step closer, to feel that sharp intake of breath against his cheek). The air between them started to charge with static electricity again, and Cass felt like it signaled that he was pushing it – too much, into a corner, too soon. This was going to end badly again. He didn’t know why, or what he said wrong. But he could sense it, and it twisted his heart.
Cass looked steadily on as Vince’s jade colored eyes looked everywhere but his own. He wasn’t used to seeing the other so uncomfortable, not when he was the cause of it. It made that sound of a break in his voice even more… jarring. Infuriating, even, though at no one but himself. Maddening. Stop breaking, he wanted to say, he wanted to reach to hold the shards together of a vase fast coming apart. Stay together. Stay with me.
Though as Vincent’s words settled in on him, seeping into his psyche like a slow-brew tea, he understood. How that’s exactly what Vince confessed he would do. He said he’d do anything, even if it shattered him. Even as Cass demanded the impossible. Misery tugged at his heart, a new feeling he’d found these last two days, the kind of devastation felt once something is gone for good. Their friendship, they were simply hoping to keep it afloat now. For that unconditional bond where Vince expressed himself freely, where Cass wanted nothing - that was long gone, there was no retrieving it now.
The young Gryffindor took several steps to close the distance between the two of them, when exactly, he could not place. Nor could he place what he intended to do now that he was there – close enough to feel warmth radiating from the other’s body. His hands balled so firmly into his two pockets that fingernails threatened to make his palms bleed. Cass could not conceive of a single thing to make things better, or resolve the rock lodged in his throat, other than to accept what this was. Whatever this was.
“Okay. Then we’re settled,” he finally broke, choosing to respond to none of what Vince said, because he was sure his face said it, lips tipped down in concern, brow furrowed, gaze earnest. Vince I believe you. I know you’ll do anything.
“Come with me this way,” he heard himself saying this before it filtered into his mind that he’d said it. Not sure if the other would listen, or even want to, Cassian impulsively touched his friend’s forearm and pulled him forward gently. For an instant, it felt as though he was tugging Vince closer - perhaps into a hug - perhaps that’s what Cass thought he should do. Though the idea was fleeting, if it ever even fully formed in his mind, and he lost his nerve. The blonde took a sharp intake of breath and released his grasp, lingering just a moment before he turned away.
He led them further down the small hill, to descend the bank. A wooden platform jutted out near the end of their section of the bank, a makeshift loading pier for small sailboats, with a channel of dirt and sediment down below it where the tide of the river had gone down. This part of the riverbed was not always visible, but when it was, Cass liked to walk along it – you’d find all sorts of odd rocks washed up from the river, and just a few feet from there you could stick your feet right into the frigid water. It’s here that he wanted to go – he wanted to bring them to the edge - before taking them back home again. So Cass leapt down from the wooden platform to the channel of earth right against the river, and slipped off his shoes as he waited for Vince to join.
“You don’t have to take off your shoes, if you don’t want to,” he volunteered, setting his own on the wooden platform before he moved towards the very edge. Earth and sentiment felt squishy between his toes. They could idle privately here, for quite a long time, before any of the tugboats started to make their early morning appearances. “I don’t know how long until sunrise… but during school breaks, always the day before I had to leave. My father would take me here to see it.”
Cass looked steadily on as Vince’s jade colored eyes looked everywhere but his own. He wasn’t used to seeing the other so uncomfortable, not when he was the cause of it. It made that sound of a break in his voice even more… jarring. Infuriating, even, though at no one but himself. Maddening. Stop breaking, he wanted to say, he wanted to reach to hold the shards together of a vase fast coming apart. Stay together. Stay with me.
Though as Vincent’s words settled in on him, seeping into his psyche like a slow-brew tea, he understood. How that’s exactly what Vince confessed he would do. He said he’d do anything, even if it shattered him. Even as Cass demanded the impossible. Misery tugged at his heart, a new feeling he’d found these last two days, the kind of devastation felt once something is gone for good. Their friendship, they were simply hoping to keep it afloat now. For that unconditional bond where Vince expressed himself freely, where Cass wanted nothing - that was long gone, there was no retrieving it now.
The young Gryffindor took several steps to close the distance between the two of them, when exactly, he could not place. Nor could he place what he intended to do now that he was there – close enough to feel warmth radiating from the other’s body. His hands balled so firmly into his two pockets that fingernails threatened to make his palms bleed. Cass could not conceive of a single thing to make things better, or resolve the rock lodged in his throat, other than to accept what this was. Whatever this was.
“Okay. Then we’re settled,” he finally broke, choosing to respond to none of what Vince said, because he was sure his face said it, lips tipped down in concern, brow furrowed, gaze earnest. Vince I believe you. I know you’ll do anything.
“Come with me this way,” he heard himself saying this before it filtered into his mind that he’d said it. Not sure if the other would listen, or even want to, Cassian impulsively touched his friend’s forearm and pulled him forward gently. For an instant, it felt as though he was tugging Vince closer - perhaps into a hug - perhaps that’s what Cass thought he should do. Though the idea was fleeting, if it ever even fully formed in his mind, and he lost his nerve. The blonde took a sharp intake of breath and released his grasp, lingering just a moment before he turned away.
He led them further down the small hill, to descend the bank. A wooden platform jutted out near the end of their section of the bank, a makeshift loading pier for small sailboats, with a channel of dirt and sediment down below it where the tide of the river had gone down. This part of the riverbed was not always visible, but when it was, Cass liked to walk along it – you’d find all sorts of odd rocks washed up from the river, and just a few feet from there you could stick your feet right into the frigid water. It’s here that he wanted to go – he wanted to bring them to the edge - before taking them back home again. So Cass leapt down from the wooden platform to the channel of earth right against the river, and slipped off his shoes as he waited for Vince to join.
“You don’t have to take off your shoes, if you don’t want to,” he volunteered, setting his own on the wooden platform before he moved towards the very edge. Earth and sentiment felt squishy between his toes. They could idle privately here, for quite a long time, before any of the tugboats started to make their early morning appearances. “I don’t know how long until sunrise… but during school breaks, always the day before I had to leave. My father would take me here to see it.”
eyecandy by fox<3