It didn't feel right. It didn't feel fair. But more than anything, he felt powerless to do anything. If her mind was made up—or if her family's financial situation was so dire they couldn't afford another year—nothing he said was going to change anything.

"But—but—You wanted to be a healer?" She could be a mediwitch, sure, but that was entirely different from a healer, and Alice, being so smart and aware of her choices in life, probably knew that. "Couldn't you...?" He trailed off, at a loss for words and suggestions.

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A stupid healer was exactly what she had wanted to be. The same swell of grief she felt every time she was reminded of her unfortunate circumstances flooded her senses. Eventually, she would come to terms with it. Eventually, she would settle into some other dream. Now, it hurt too much to think about.

"You need NEWTs to be a healer." Alice informed him as if he was entirely unaware of such facts. "I'm sure there's something else out there." Farming, most likely.

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

"You can—Aren't there—?" The questions continued to fall from his mouth as he tried to work out how it was possible she'd be leaving, how it could be possible to keep her in school.

"There are other scholarships, though? Other funds? They're always doing fundraisers..." Not that she should have to beg for scholarship money—Alice was near the top of their class, surely!

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"Do you think I haven't thought of everything?" Alice retorted with both frustration and a tiny hint of desperation. "That I haven't gone through what scholarships are available to me and what I would need to receive them? That I haven't tried to figure out another alternative for well over a year now? This has always been the deal. If I made prefect I could stay, if not that was it. There's too many variables and too much risk."

The shopkeeper came bounding from the backroom as the volume of her voice increased and Alice flashed an apologetic half smile before turning back to him with her smile instantly gone. "This is my reality, Cameron. It's my own fault to have ever dreamt outside of my limitations."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Cameron remained quiet this time, trying to process what her words really meant—for her, for their friends, for whatever remained of their friendship. He'd always sort of assumed she would be there, and one day they would not be as angry as they once were, but now there was a time limit!? He hated it.

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Taking his silence as her cue to leave, Alice sighed and shrugged. "I'll see you when school starts."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Cameron's breath caught in his throat, and he looked back up at her. "Wait," he said suddenly, his chest constricting, "What if... what if I gave you my notes this year? I'm taking all the ones required for healers, and I'm serious about it this time. I'll—I'll help you."

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"I still wouldn't be eligible to take the test." She explained, not entirely sure of why he would even suggest such a thing. For one, he was only just beginning to apply himself to his lessons. His note taking ability was in dire need of improvement and so did his penmanship. Alice would sooner go into a test blind.

Lowering her voice so that the curious shopkeeper wouldn't be able to hear, Alice continued. "The next time you slack off in class, or fail to turn in an assignment on time, or refuse to acknowledge how incredibly lucky you are to have no questions about your education, I want you to remember this conversation. I want you to remember how hard I worked, how much I wanted to do something impactful with my life and how you told me healing was stupid. I want you to remember how you — as undedicated as you are — will go further in life than me. Not because you're smarter. Not because you care more. Not because you would be better suited for the job. The only reason you will ever succeed because your family — however blended — has money that you wasted for years."

And with that, she turned on her heel to walk from the shop.

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Well that was a slap in the face is there ever was one.

Cameron stomped off after her, only reaching out to grab her arm once they'd left the shop.

"No," he said, his frustration clear on his face, "You don't get to do that. I'm sorry your family can't send you to school, and I'm sorry you don't get to be prefect, but you don't get to talk to me like that." Trying to put all of that on him, as if he should have to carry all of her burdens because she didn't get what she wanted.

"I slacked, and I cared about quidditch more than my grades sometimes, but I can't help who I am or where I came from. I didn't tell you healing was stupid because I thought healing was a stupid career for you, but because it was easier to write it off than accept that I couldn't do it." He let out a deep breath as his rambling (temporarily) ceased. He took a few breaths, all the while staring at her with his brows furrowed. "But I did. Money didn't buy my OWL scores. I earned them. You could earn them, too, and with a bit of luck get someone to pay for your supplies, but you're too deep in your self-pity to even consider accepting help!"

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If Alice wasn't fuming she would have been instantly apologetic. Cameron didn't deserve her fury, he wasn't the cause of her unfortunate circumstances. However, she was too caught up in the unfairness of it all that she couldn't think straight. She couldn't see how unfair she was being.

Alice stood there with her arm in his grip seething for the first time in her life. The circumstances of her situation were entirely out of her control. It wasn't that Alice thought she would fail a class and lose her scholarship, but rather that the off chance of it happening would present an even worse burden on her family. OWLs were an accomplishment, some NEWT level classes were not.

"Luck!" She spat back. "You want me to risk galleons on luck?! My family prays for a single lucky season at every harvest and our situation only grows more dire." Fucking luck, as if any of Dawson's had an ounce of luck to share between them. "You don't get it. It was prefect or nothing, Cameron. There isn't a scholarship or generous donation or anything that'll cover the deficit my family needs to keep me in school. It won't pay for the new roof we desperately need or feed for the few animals we keep.

"You're bloody delusional if you think I'm being anything other realistic and practical. This isn't self-pity, this is the real world. Not all of us get a third, fourth, or fifth chance to decide that now is when I want to apply myself. You earned your OWLs fine, but you don't deserve them."

The following 1 user Likes Alice Dawson's post:1 user Likes Alice Dawson's post
   Greta Gillenwater

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Amazing set by Bee!

Alice had chosen self-pity—no, she'd chosen needless sacrifice, which was somehow worse. He might have tried to sympathize, tried to come up with something else to help, but Alice had also chosen to direct all her anger at him, resulting in cruelty and a hollow pang in his chest.

His expression dropped, and for a moment it looked as though he might cry.

"You know, you'd never know we used to be friends with the things you're saying," he said quietly, trying to keep himself from any burst of emotion, be it anger or anguish. "But I'd rather know now that you resented me all those years."

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Being the eldest of eight children meant Alice was intimately familiar with the look of someone when they were prepared to burst into tears. Momentarily distracted from her boiling rage, her expression softened and she took her free hand to brush over her temple. "Cameron..." Alice began, remorse clear on her face. Obviously, she hadn't meant a word of what she said. Obviously, she hadn't resented him for the past five years (well, maybe the last year she had resented him).

Frowning further, she finally and delicately pulled herself from his grasp. "This isn't ... this isn't about you. I didn't mean that ... I'm just ... I'm struggling with this decision despite having known about it for years. I'm sorry."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Though the sting of her words was unlikely to disappear anytime soon, the blow was softened by her remorse. He still felt numb, hollow, and admittedly more emotional than he would have liked to be in the middle of Diagon Alley, but her explanation helped.

"I know we've been fighting, but... I still don't want you to leave school." Cameron, despite being ruled by his emotions most of time, did know how to put them aside to see the truth when it came to big things, and Alice leaving Hogwarts was the very definition of a "big thing". "I know you want to be practical, but you'll be much more use to your family with a healer's salary than whatever you end up doing instead. Sometimes a little risk is necessary." Admittedly he'd never taken such a big risk, but he'd taken smaller risks before, like spending time studying for his Potions OWL when he could have been spending extra hours to ensure he'd do his best on classes he had the best chances of passing.

"Just... just think about it, won't you? I'm here for you." He felt his heart skip a beat at the words. He hadn't been there for her in over a year, and he wasn't sure if he'd intended to invite her back into his life, but he guessed that's exactly what he was doing.

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Alice nodded stiffly. A revival of her friendship with Cameron would only make it that much harder to leave come next spring. Especially if he felt hers was the cause to rally their friends behind. She could only imagine how passionate Sloane would be when she found out, Sisse too. Not that Alice truly wished to discuss this with Sisse.

Looking behind her briefly, Alice turned back to Cameron and replied in a softer, almost broken tone, "If I were to fail it would all be for nothing." Then, realizing she was about to begin down another rambling explanation stopped herself short. "Thank you for listening. Can you - can you keep this between us for now? I haven't figured out how to tell people yet..."

The following 1 user Likes Alice Dawson's post:1 user Likes Alice Dawson's post
   Cameron Gillenwater

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Cameron reached out and squeezed the top of her arm, trying to express his friendship, loyalty, commitment—whatever it was—without verbalizing it. "Yeah. Yeah, of course," he agreed, nodding. It would be difficult to keep this from Sloane and their other friends, especially if they realized things weren't as tense as they were before, but he would do his best. "Just... You don't have to do this alone, you know."

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The thing was was that she did have to go through this alone, for alone was what she would be next year. While Sloane and Cameron and everyone else was still at school, she would be home or working some menial job desperately trying to find a path for her life. Staying was such a remote possibility that she couldn't fathom a scenario where everything worked out. Alice bit her lip. "We'll see." She acknowledged sadly. "I should get back, my father will be looking for me."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!