That wasn't what Ben wanted to hear, and he nearly said as much. He slouched against the back of the bench and tipped his glass towards him, watching the light play off the top of his rum with glassy eyes.
Was there a chance Dionisia was right? Ben couldn't see things working out the way she'd described. Revisiting the past with Melody would mean fighting. There was no other way that conversation could go. There was too much baggage in the past for them to talk through it all without picking off scabs on wounds that were still raw. How was fighting going to lead them to be happier in the future? It had never worked for them in the past. Airing grievances and slinging blame had only made things worse — for her, anyway. Ben had eventually gotten to a point where he wanted to move forward, when he'd heard about the baby, but he didn't know that Melody ever had.
"There's a lot you don't understand," he said. "No one really understands. We're — fucked."
Was that it, then? No way forward? Lately it felt that way. He'd thought he could get them back to where they'd been in the aftermath of Nora's birth if he could convince Melody to have another child, but he couldn't even convince her to touch him, so that didn't seem to be in the cards. He'd been keeping it from her because he wasn't sure what she would do when she learned the whole truth, but — what was the worst case scenario, really? Could it be any worse than their current state of affairs?
Nothing could be worse than the current state of affairs. Even if she left him, at least they'd have the finality.
He was going to talk to her.
Was there a chance Dionisia was right? Ben couldn't see things working out the way she'd described. Revisiting the past with Melody would mean fighting. There was no other way that conversation could go. There was too much baggage in the past for them to talk through it all without picking off scabs on wounds that were still raw. How was fighting going to lead them to be happier in the future? It had never worked for them in the past. Airing grievances and slinging blame had only made things worse — for her, anyway. Ben had eventually gotten to a point where he wanted to move forward, when he'd heard about the baby, but he didn't know that Melody ever had.
"There's a lot you don't understand," he said. "No one really understands. We're — fucked."
Was that it, then? No way forward? Lately it felt that way. He'd thought he could get them back to where they'd been in the aftermath of Nora's birth if he could convince Melody to have another child, but he couldn't even convince her to touch him, so that didn't seem to be in the cards. He'd been keeping it from her because he wasn't sure what she would do when she learned the whole truth, but — what was the worst case scenario, really? Could it be any worse than their current state of affairs?
Nothing could be worse than the current state of affairs. Even if she left him, at least they'd have the finality.
He was going to talk to her.
MJ made this <3