Flowers! Great Merlin, you are playing with fire. I should not have brought flowers. Women have invented a whole language with them, did you know? Who knows what you might be promising when you show up, wholly unsuspecting, with a bouquet in hand. Who is this lucky lady, whom you may already be unwittingly engaged to (or else have accidentally insulted with your choice of peonies and babys breath)?

Of course I'm free on any weekend you like — my career isn't the one which requires corralling the youth on weekends and evenings just trawling the Hogsmeade slums in search of more statements that will never see court, which is another matter entirely.

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   Basil Foxwood