Shh, Kieran had said – so he had to know, then. But he hadn’t yet let go of him, either: so it was as though he was content here too, happy to keep holding each other. Jude knew it probably wouldn’t happen again and it couldn’t feel the same when they were around the rest of their friends and they would have to slide back into normality eventually, any second now, pretend this small exceptional moment had never happened –
“Do you want to come to bed for a while?” Jude suggested, quietly and without thinking. (He wouldn’t have known what he was thinking, if he had been. He was overtired, that was all, and had spent all night in the form of an albatross, so maybe some animal instinct had taken up space in his brain that he hadn’t quite shaken yet.) But it was only just dawn, wasn’t it? Jude certainly had nowhere to be for another couple of hours. They could both use the rest before having to be back here tonight... except Kieran could just as well go home to his own bed to sleep, couldn’t he? And not wanting to curl up in bed alone – wanting to keep him in his grasp for a while longer – was not a good excuse for this. Jude drew back, extricating himself properly, but found he couldn’t look Kieran in the eye any more, whatever he ended up saying to it. It was a bad idea, obviously.
“Do you want to come to bed for a while?” Jude suggested, quietly and without thinking. (He wouldn’t have known what he was thinking, if he had been. He was overtired, that was all, and had spent all night in the form of an albatross, so maybe some animal instinct had taken up space in his brain that he hadn’t quite shaken yet.) But it was only just dawn, wasn’t it? Jude certainly had nowhere to be for another couple of hours. They could both use the rest before having to be back here tonight... except Kieran could just as well go home to his own bed to sleep, couldn’t he? And not wanting to curl up in bed alone – wanting to keep him in his grasp for a while longer – was not a good excuse for this. Jude drew back, extricating himself properly, but found he couldn’t look Kieran in the eye any more, whatever he ended up saying to it. It was a bad idea, obviously.
