My dear Adventurous Fellow,

Have you seen the pyramids of Egypt? The recently constructed Eiffel Tower? I hope to hear you have, as I have done, if you consider yourself to be “adventurous”!

I write in response to your advertisement in this latest edition of Witch Weekly. Though I fear that you and I are likely not meant to be—I suspect I should know, were the opposite true—I feel as though you are a kindred spirit, one that I must lead to his true love.

My rates are altogether reasonable, and I confess that I do give a discount to those I find charming. Please do be in touch.

Sincerely,