This was ill-advised, and he knew that he should have just shut up. He'd always been better with touch than with words, and if Melody was going to get any comfort from him tonight it would be through what they were already doing, not through anything he said. That was probably why he'd waited so long to even say her name, trying to convince himself not to say anything at all, but the urge to speak didn't pass. There was the thought in the back of his mind that wouldn't quite let it go: what if this was the last change he had to say it?

"What I said in January," he began, his voice thick as he tried to figure out how to put the sentiment into words. "It wasn't a lie. I know things have been — total shit since then," he admitted, cheeks flushed. "And I know it's mostly my fault. I don't — I don't know what to say about any of that and I know you didn't believe me and there's no reasons why you should. I don't know how to explain it. I know it doesn't make any sense. Sometimes I just — hate the way things are between us, so much. But... sometimes I really do love you." He swallowed, then continued: "And I don't want anything to happen to you, but if something did, that's what I'd tell them. That you were way smarter than me and so beautiful and that you were strong and brave. And that I loved you."

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