Evander’s jaw tightened at that. How horrible it must have been; he was fairly certain she could imagine, if she tried – after all, she had been through the same thing with her brother, even if perhaps she would not feel quite as badly to contemplate losing Evander as he had her – but the fact remained that he did not want her to imagine it.
Or imagine him that way. The mess he had been. “I would rather you – didn’t try,” he said delicately: he felt that she was searching for something out of him, almost, but what did she want him to do? Break down here, in public, now that she was back, now that he didn’t have to fear? He’d made a fool of himself in front of near everybody else he knew when she’d been away; surely he could keep a little dignity in front of Caroline, if no one else. “It doesn’t matter now. And no doubt it was far worse aboard.”
Not that he wanted to think about that anymore either: the last few days had been taxing enough, emotionally, presumably for them both. Maybe he was just too tired to talk, right now. Maybe he should leave, let her settle back in, let things return to normal once they were both recovered.
Or imagine him that way. The mess he had been. “I would rather you – didn’t try,” he said delicately: he felt that she was searching for something out of him, almost, but what did she want him to do? Break down here, in public, now that she was back, now that he didn’t have to fear? He’d made a fool of himself in front of near everybody else he knew when she’d been away; surely he could keep a little dignity in front of Caroline, if no one else. “It doesn’t matter now. And no doubt it was far worse aboard.”
Not that he wanted to think about that anymore either: the last few days had been taxing enough, emotionally, presumably for them both. Maybe he was just too tired to talk, right now. Maybe he should leave, let her settle back in, let things return to normal once they were both recovered.
