Zelda didn’t say anything to that news, but he hadn’t looked to see how she’d reacted to it, either - suddenly he felt trapped, trapped in this sitting room, trapped in his life, trapped in his own body, and his throat was so dry he didn’t know if his airways would open enough to breathe.
He felt the touch at his elbow, and covered his face with a hand, rubbing his temples with trembling fingers, covering his eyes, pressing his fingers into skin to remind himself to pull himself together. He had a faint idea to pull himself to his feet and dash out some quick excuse about - needing to check on something and leaving her to watch Elliott and making it as far as the other side of the door, but Ari knew if he got that far and took that moment alone, he wouldn’t be able to put himself together enough to face Zelda again.
And he was trying to avoid crumbling. That was why he’d wanted someone else to be here, that was - why he had to answer her. With something that wouldn’t see everything fall apart if Ben came back alive. When. If. (If he didn’t, everything would probably fall apart anyway.)
So Ari dragged his hand away from his face, cleared his throat forcibly, to try and dislodge the sob that was growing somewhere in there. “Yeah, I’m - fine. It’s just, I - I can’t stand not being there.” And he had always been - somewhere in reach before, somewhere close enough to help.
That was all. That, she would understand.
He felt the touch at his elbow, and covered his face with a hand, rubbing his temples with trembling fingers, covering his eyes, pressing his fingers into skin to remind himself to pull himself together. He had a faint idea to pull himself to his feet and dash out some quick excuse about - needing to check on something and leaving her to watch Elliott and making it as far as the other side of the door, but Ari knew if he got that far and took that moment alone, he wouldn’t be able to put himself together enough to face Zelda again.
And he was trying to avoid crumbling. That was why he’d wanted someone else to be here, that was - why he had to answer her. With something that wouldn’t see everything fall apart if Ben came back alive. When. If. (If he didn’t, everything would probably fall apart anyway.)
So Ari dragged his hand away from his face, cleared his throat forcibly, to try and dislodge the sob that was growing somewhere in there. “Yeah, I’m - fine. It’s just, I - I can’t stand not being there.” And he had always been - somewhere in reach before, somewhere close enough to help.
That was all. That, she would understand.
