It had taken far too long to orchestrate this meeting with her brother but she had insisted on doing so very indirectly. Obviously Reuben hadn't died in a duel and she'd heard nothing of Elmer's untimely death but she also didn't know if she'd been successful in preventing it entirely or if they'd simply been fortunate enough to both walk away with their lives. As much as she still cared for Elmer if anyone had to die she would have wanted it to be him. If Reuben had died she'd have had his death weighing heavily on her conscience forever and she simply couldn't bear to lose him. Reuben was too full of life to appreciate dying needlessly, he'd have spent his last breath resenting her for what she'd driven him to do. Elmer, on the other hand, had the misfortune of being the 'lover' figure (although she definitely didn't think of him as such) and so it would be more fitting, more poetic for him to have died and she believed he'd see it that way too. She would have begrudged Ben his murder for a while but in time she would have forgiven him. The same could not be said for Elmer, she really didn't think she could have forgiven him if her brother had died.
Despite having wanted this meeting for two whole weeks she really had no idea what she was going to say now that she finally had his attention. She'd been too ashamed of herself to outright ask to see him, fearing his rejection more than anything else, and she couldn't possibly just turn up unbidden. She'd had to resort to further subterfuge by planting one of her weightier possessions in his house so that he would find it necessary to return it in person. There was no logical explanation for how her copy of Les Misérables had made its way into his home naturally but it had to stand out enough for him to notice it and recognize that it didn't belong there. There was a bookplate with her name on it if he failed to recognize it as one of her books which was far more likely than she'd imagined it to be.
When he arrived he didn't immediately say anything and instead gestured to her book, probably in want of an explanation. Nova was all too ready to assume the worst and decided this 'greeting' was irrefutable evidence that his opinion of her was still marred by their last conversation. On top of that she was unexpectedly overwhelmed to see him alive and seemingly well that all of the fear, regret, guilt, despair, and so on that she'd been nursing for almost three weeks came to the surface in an instant. Nova was already halfway to him when she realized what she was doing but she kept on walking until she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a surprisingly tight embrace, undeterred by the awkward bulk of her book in his arms. She began to quietly sob into his shoulder.
""
Despite having wanted this meeting for two whole weeks she really had no idea what she was going to say now that she finally had his attention. She'd been too ashamed of herself to outright ask to see him, fearing his rejection more than anything else, and she couldn't possibly just turn up unbidden. She'd had to resort to further subterfuge by planting one of her weightier possessions in his house so that he would find it necessary to return it in person. There was no logical explanation for how her copy of Les Misérables had made its way into his home naturally but it had to stand out enough for him to notice it and recognize that it didn't belong there. There was a bookplate with her name on it if he failed to recognize it as one of her books which was far more likely than she'd imagined it to be.
When he arrived he didn't immediately say anything and instead gestured to her book, probably in want of an explanation. Nova was all too ready to assume the worst and decided this 'greeting' was irrefutable evidence that his opinion of her was still marred by their last conversation. On top of that she was unexpectedly overwhelmed to see him alive and seemingly well that all of the fear, regret, guilt, despair, and so on that she'd been nursing for almost three weeks came to the surface in an instant. Nova was already halfway to him when she realized what she was doing but she kept on walking until she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a surprisingly tight embrace, undeterred by the awkward bulk of her book in his arms. She began to quietly sob into his shoulder.
""
