She hadn't really intended to detain him, and she felt a little surge of panic as he turned around. It was all well and good to throw an apology down the hall as a parting shot, but if he actually wanted to talk about this — what on earth was she supposed to say? He wanted to know what she was thinking, but she hadn't even sorted through it all herself, yet. It had seemed simpler in the abstract, when she had been thinking this through before she'd come. She'd arrive, make her announcement, and he would kiss her, and that kiss would... well, she felt silly now even thinking about it, because she supposed she'd expected it to be some sort of magical moment where she might just know whether or not she wanted him to keep doing it. She'd thought it would just fall into place and everything else would make sense, and they'd both know what to do next — or that it wouldn't, that instead of the heavens opening up in joyous harmonies there would be the clash of an instrument striking a chord out of tune, but even then she would know. She hadn't been expecting to still be just as undecided after the kiss as she had been before.
And she hadn't expected it to have taken as much of a toll on him as it clearly had. The emotion on his face a moment ago had been unmistakable, and everything he'd said since she'd pushed his hands away indicated he was hurt. She hadn't anticipated that this would be an experiment with collateral damage. She hadn't considered his feelings at all. She'd expected that after the kiss the answer would be so obvious to both of them that they couldn't fail to be on the same page. Whether they did or didn't move forward with this, she had anticipated that the sentiment would be mutual. Either there would be some sort of immediate chemical spark, or they'd both realize this had been a huge mistake and agree to speak no more about it.
"There's a whole school of magic devoted to that, you know," she said weakly. She half-shrugged her shoulders as though she were joking, but since she still had her arms crossed the point was probably lost. She stood for a moment looking down at the couch, chewing her lip and trying to figure out what to say next.
"That was the first time I'd been kissed," she began hesitantly. "Or, well. The last time was. This was the second time."
Jules
And she hadn't expected it to have taken as much of a toll on him as it clearly had. The emotion on his face a moment ago had been unmistakable, and everything he'd said since she'd pushed his hands away indicated he was hurt. She hadn't anticipated that this would be an experiment with collateral damage. She hadn't considered his feelings at all. She'd expected that after the kiss the answer would be so obvious to both of them that they couldn't fail to be on the same page. Whether they did or didn't move forward with this, she had anticipated that the sentiment would be mutual. Either there would be some sort of immediate chemical spark, or they'd both realize this had been a huge mistake and agree to speak no more about it.
"There's a whole school of magic devoted to that, you know," she said weakly. She half-shrugged her shoulders as though she were joking, but since she still had her arms crossed the point was probably lost. She stood for a moment looking down at the couch, chewing her lip and trying to figure out what to say next.
"That was the first time I'd been kissed," she began hesitantly. "Or, well. The last time was. This was the second time."
Prof. Marlowe Forfang
Jules