She was avoiding his touch, avoiding him, and it was clear that this was going to be just like the last time, where he did something stupid and she closed herself off from him and then left him sitting there wondering what he could have done different. He hated it, the feelings of insecurity, fear, and loneliness that he ended up feeling whenever he allowed himself to feel things for a woman. He didn't love Miss Binns—he hadn't figured out what exactly he felt to her, even though he could admit that liked her a little, at least enough to be sad when she left—but she'd managed to evoke same confusion, guilt, and sadness from him that Fallon had the left time they'd spoken.

He normally might have pressed farther, because he usually didn't have the sense to stop until he'd gone overboard. He'd regretted trying to push her the last time she'd left, but he would have done the same now, except he was so done feeling like this that he tore his gaze from hers and looked around the room, trying to reign in his emotions before he said or did anything he'd regret once again. It must have been the vulnerability in taking her offer to kiss her, and then actually doing it—it had to have been that, because his insecurities were beginning to materialize on his expression, and he didn't like that. He felt the straining in his face and his eyelids drooped as he tried to figure out what to do or where to go. He chewed on his bottom lip, whether to keep himself from speaking or to keep it from wavering with unexpressed emotion, and after a moment of contemplation he did as she asked.

The image of her leaving would just stick in his mind (he knew, because it had the last time) and he didn't want to fuel the emotions threatening to spill out of his chest, so instead of stepping backwards to let her pass, he shook himself to his head, resolving not to say another word more, and turned away and started towards the hallway.

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