The logistics of this entire situation were far more complicated than she'd considered. Even if she'd fooled Ari into believing she could want another child (which she wasn't sure she'd managed yet. He still seemed unconvinced.) she hadn't yet considered just how she intended to accomplish it—or how she would intend to accomplish it if she had any intention of it at all.
His insistence that he wouldn't mind fathering her child didn't make this situation any easier, because denying him would make it seem like she didn't really want a child that badly, or that she was absolutely repulsed by him. Which she wasn't; she just didn't want with lie with him knowing his feelings (or lack thereof) towards her.
"I will not tell any man that I wish for a child," she said, frowning. "I would not put you at risk." It would be unwise even if she actually intended to go through with it. Men would fear for repercussions if the affair was ever made known, or on the flip side they may get unnervingly attached to her at the thought that she was carrying his child. Slowly, she began to think her way out of the situation.
"But I know plenty of men, some who rather wish I'd never married at all." That was not necessarily a lie; she did know a great deal of men, and there was always a chance some of them wished she had never married. "And I'll admit... there are some that I might have taken an interest in, had my situation been different. Would it be so terrible if I... took an interest now? Until it is no longer wise to continue?" Until she had a child, is what she meant to imply.
(She felt bad for asking Ari to have an affair, but she had to remember: she had no intention of actually having one.)
His insistence that he wouldn't mind fathering her child didn't make this situation any easier, because denying him would make it seem like she didn't really want a child that badly, or that she was absolutely repulsed by him. Which she wasn't; she just didn't want with lie with him knowing his feelings (or lack thereof) towards her.
"I will not tell any man that I wish for a child," she said, frowning. "I would not put you at risk." It would be unwise even if she actually intended to go through with it. Men would fear for repercussions if the affair was ever made known, or on the flip side they may get unnervingly attached to her at the thought that she was carrying his child. Slowly, she began to think her way out of the situation.
"But I know plenty of men, some who rather wish I'd never married at all." That was not necessarily a lie; she did know a great deal of men, and there was always a chance some of them wished she had never married. "And I'll admit... there are some that I might have taken an interest in, had my situation been different. Would it be so terrible if I... took an interest now? Until it is no longer wise to continue?" Until she had a child, is what she meant to imply.
(She felt bad for asking Ari to have an affair, but she had to remember: she had no intention of actually having one.)
