Though she sat in silence she could almost hear her conscious screaming out to her to backtrack, to amend her statements. She did not want another baby, but to say that would be to directly contradict herself, and then Ari would wonder what was really the matter... No, there was no other option but to go along with her own assertion, however impulsive it had been.
"I know..." She struggled to speak right, to breathe right. One lie after another, she would have to work her way through this situation until it made sense. "I know it is sudden, but only because I feared your reaction. I know—I mean, I don't expect you to..." But is that not what she was implying? Or was she supposed to mean, by admitting this to Ari, that she fully intended to seek out another man to give her another child? Of course she meant neither, but she needed to have her story straight before she was caught in one line, for surely it would lead to her admitting to her other lies. She took a deep breath, collected her senses, and looked back at him.
"I would like a daughter." It was not wholly untrue. There had been part of her that hoped Elliott would have been born a girl, so that she might raise her with the reassurances that Dionisia was not afforded as a child, but a son had proved convenient by offering Ari an heir. That being said, the thought of having a daughter in addition to a son was one that sent off a panic signal to her mind. She had to get it together.
She turned her head away from him and looked down at the floor. It was easier to lie when not looking in his eyes.
"I only meant to discuss how I might... manage such a feat," she managed. And for perhaps the first time in her married life, Dionisia hoped this conversation would not end with Ari taking her to bed.
"I know..." She struggled to speak right, to breathe right. One lie after another, she would have to work her way through this situation until it made sense. "I know it is sudden, but only because I feared your reaction. I know—I mean, I don't expect you to..." But is that not what she was implying? Or was she supposed to mean, by admitting this to Ari, that she fully intended to seek out another man to give her another child? Of course she meant neither, but she needed to have her story straight before she was caught in one line, for surely it would lead to her admitting to her other lies. She took a deep breath, collected her senses, and looked back at him.
"I would like a daughter." It was not wholly untrue. There had been part of her that hoped Elliott would have been born a girl, so that she might raise her with the reassurances that Dionisia was not afforded as a child, but a son had proved convenient by offering Ari an heir. That being said, the thought of having a daughter in addition to a son was one that sent off a panic signal to her mind. She had to get it together.
She turned her head away from him and looked down at the floor. It was easier to lie when not looking in his eyes.
"I only meant to discuss how I might... manage such a feat," she managed. And for perhaps the first time in her married life, Dionisia hoped this conversation would not end with Ari taking her to bed.
