Well, wasn’t that some irony? He suspected wanting to be one of the Fisks had never been envisioned in her mind quite like this. Nevertheless, whether she was trying to rationalise it all in saying so, or simply trying to make him feel better about it, he was grateful to her. Almost too grateful for words. There had to be worse things, Ari told himself. Worse situations. Their marriage was hardly ideal, but some marriages were founded on even more mercenary things than self-preservation, and no doubt wound up being terribly unhappy. (He prayed Dionisia would never reach that threshold of misery living here. Anything he could do to prevent it, he would.)
As she spoke, muffled through his shirt and her tears, he found himself stroking her hair; he had done enough comforting others in his life for the actions to be unthinking, but also - now that he had told her the truth, it seemed easier to hold her than before. There had been such pressure at the start of their surprise engagement, to make it look like more... and then, as time had worn on, he had been afraid that any too-familiar gesture might send the wrong signal, might lead her down the road to false hope. Now, at least, she knew enough that it wouldn’t be a problem. In spite of the guilt for burdening her with it, that was an unimaginable relief.
She pulled back and he got a glimpse of her face again, her eyes now rimmed with red. His arms slid away from her and he shook his head in something like disbelief. He had bitten his lip to try and prevent the chuckle spilling out, but it did anyway - and Dionisia was laughing too. Too much turmoil in one night did that, he supposed; perhaps it was for the best to say nothing more about it just yet, and let things settle first. Ari could scarcely believe that was all the promise she wanted - how practical and unassuming of her. And she thought he could pity her, even for a rare bout of tears? “I think I can manage that,” he assured her firmly, even managing a smile to prove it; she could ask for worlds more. It was not pity he felt - guilt still, yes, guilt by the reservoir - but if anything about her, he admired her in so many more ways than he had known.
He squeezed her shoulder once more as he stepped back with a nod, conscious of moisture brimming at his eyes now, as much for I won’t treat you any different as anything.
“Thank you,” Ari murmured, breathing out. It was not enough, but what other words were there? “Really, thank you.”
As she spoke, muffled through his shirt and her tears, he found himself stroking her hair; he had done enough comforting others in his life for the actions to be unthinking, but also - now that he had told her the truth, it seemed easier to hold her than before. There had been such pressure at the start of their surprise engagement, to make it look like more... and then, as time had worn on, he had been afraid that any too-familiar gesture might send the wrong signal, might lead her down the road to false hope. Now, at least, she knew enough that it wouldn’t be a problem. In spite of the guilt for burdening her with it, that was an unimaginable relief.
She pulled back and he got a glimpse of her face again, her eyes now rimmed with red. His arms slid away from her and he shook his head in something like disbelief. He had bitten his lip to try and prevent the chuckle spilling out, but it did anyway - and Dionisia was laughing too. Too much turmoil in one night did that, he supposed; perhaps it was for the best to say nothing more about it just yet, and let things settle first. Ari could scarcely believe that was all the promise she wanted - how practical and unassuming of her. And she thought he could pity her, even for a rare bout of tears? “I think I can manage that,” he assured her firmly, even managing a smile to prove it; she could ask for worlds more. It was not pity he felt - guilt still, yes, guilt by the reservoir - but if anything about her, he admired her in so many more ways than he had known.
He squeezed her shoulder once more as he stepped back with a nod, conscious of moisture brimming at his eyes now, as much for I won’t treat you any different as anything.
“Thank you,” Ari murmured, breathing out. It was not enough, but what other words were there? “Really, thank you.”
