He could scarcely believe that he had done it, hadn’t the faintest idea what he was thinking - but for a moment in the midst of it, fortunately, all thought had stopped. Or thought had been drowned out by sensation, layers upon layers of it: the softness of her lips on his; being conscious of a balled-up feeling in his chest that was like stress but very different; and God only knew what his gut was doing at the moment. One kiss was not objectively much - a very slight action should not rationally elicit such feeling - but perhaps it came down to a lack of habitual touch in his day-to-day existence, because at the moment it felt like rather a lot.
But if he had been trying to prove something, he supposed he had proved it, Evander considered in relief as he drew back; if he had wanted to show some gratitude for her kindness and affection and good nature and return one small gesture with another, well - she was smiling now, so perhaps he had achieved that and could seal it off now, mark it as complete, a gesture returned. But, he realised, once again feeling his clothes uncomfortably soaked through to the skin and his hands numb in spite of the warmth of hers and a stray, irksome drop of rain still rolling down the side of his nose... in reality, if that had done anything, it was to open new windows and doors and possibly even desires, and he felt, abruptly, that they were going to be harder to keep closed down than before.
Breaking rules in life, as in the law, was beginning to look like a slippery slope. Evander was not sure, quite honestly, how to proceed from this moment: he had not planned to kiss her today, and thus had not planned the post-kiss state of the universe. Hm.
She hadn’t said anything, and although he had succeeded in meeting her gaze afterwards, that she said nothing was a little worrying. Was she waiting for him to say something? There wasn’t even an escape from this situation, as long as it was raining! So what on earth were they going to do now, still stuck under a covered church-gate together and still soaked to the bone? Kissing her had absolutely thrown the awkwardness into sharper relief; Evander also managed to illustrate this truth as he tried to step backwards, and ended up half-stumbling over the sodden blanket.
“Er -” He cleared his throat and looked away from her, deciding the best course of action was to pretend nothing had happened between them and go on as before. Absolutely no adventure is worth dying for, he might have protested aloud, if he could only remember what on earth they had been talking about earlier. Nor was searching for an appropriate new topic an easy endeavour, for he was not completely confident his brain was functioning at its usual capacity yet; as such, he settled, lamely, for the best he could come up with under pressure.
“Dreadful weather for August, though, even for Scotland,” he mumbled at last, as if they were strangers waiting at a bus stop.
But if he had been trying to prove something, he supposed he had proved it, Evander considered in relief as he drew back; if he had wanted to show some gratitude for her kindness and affection and good nature and return one small gesture with another, well - she was smiling now, so perhaps he had achieved that and could seal it off now, mark it as complete, a gesture returned. But, he realised, once again feeling his clothes uncomfortably soaked through to the skin and his hands numb in spite of the warmth of hers and a stray, irksome drop of rain still rolling down the side of his nose... in reality, if that had done anything, it was to open new windows and doors and possibly even desires, and he felt, abruptly, that they were going to be harder to keep closed down than before.
Breaking rules in life, as in the law, was beginning to look like a slippery slope. Evander was not sure, quite honestly, how to proceed from this moment: he had not planned to kiss her today, and thus had not planned the post-kiss state of the universe. Hm.
She hadn’t said anything, and although he had succeeded in meeting her gaze afterwards, that she said nothing was a little worrying. Was she waiting for him to say something? There wasn’t even an escape from this situation, as long as it was raining! So what on earth were they going to do now, still stuck under a covered church-gate together and still soaked to the bone? Kissing her had absolutely thrown the awkwardness into sharper relief; Evander also managed to illustrate this truth as he tried to step backwards, and ended up half-stumbling over the sodden blanket.
“Er -” He cleared his throat and looked away from her, deciding the best course of action was to pretend nothing had happened between them and go on as before. Absolutely no adventure is worth dying for, he might have protested aloud, if he could only remember what on earth they had been talking about earlier. Nor was searching for an appropriate new topic an easy endeavour, for he was not completely confident his brain was functioning at its usual capacity yet; as such, he settled, lamely, for the best he could come up with under pressure.
“Dreadful weather for August, though, even for Scotland,” he mumbled at last, as if they were strangers waiting at a bus stop.
