Flooded with relief, Dionisia released a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding in—but in the same breath, almost felt... disappointed? She was glad he wasn't making some terrible attempt to seduce her, but that also indicated what she'd believed from day one: that he didn't want to seduce her. Men who wanted her would have taken the chance, not backtracked at the first opportunity. Dionisia had only been with a man once, and that one time had been under the influence of a love potion, but she was educated enough in matters of reproduction—and through jokes at the pub, the act of conception—to know how desire could affect a man. (She'd certainly been hit on enough, which made this situation all the more perplexing.)
"I-I would not be opposed," she admitted, feeling silly for saying that. It was ridiculous that a wife should feel so when speaking to her husband about these matters, but they both knew the complexities of their marriage. To admit that she would have him was almost as bad as admitting she wanted him. Which, if she was being honest, she did. Or she thought she did. Well... maybe not him, specificially.
"I only thought... well, we are man and wife, and presumably will continue to be until death do us part." She could not see a man like Ari being one to file for divorce for any reason. He had married her—offered to marry her—knowing fully well that she was with another man's child, and he'd still gone through with it knowing it could very well be a child he'd have to claim as his firstborn to avoid scandal. None of it was rational, yet it was, because Ari was a good and honest man. But good and honest men still had needs, surely—and why not soothe them with his wife?
"And we may not have married out of love or desire, but..." She took a breath. "To go a lifetime without it seems like an awfully lonely way to live, doesn't it? I only thought you would want to. Eventually. Just to not be so lonely. " In saying so, it became clear to her that it was not Ari she wanted, but someone—period. She was never the type of girl who giggled over the older, handsomer boys at school, nor had she been in any rush to settle down, but now that she was married she could hardly imagine spending the rest of her life in such a purgatory.
"I-I would not be opposed," she admitted, feeling silly for saying that. It was ridiculous that a wife should feel so when speaking to her husband about these matters, but they both knew the complexities of their marriage. To admit that she would have him was almost as bad as admitting she wanted him. Which, if she was being honest, she did. Or she thought she did. Well... maybe not him, specificially.
"I only thought... well, we are man and wife, and presumably will continue to be until death do us part." She could not see a man like Ari being one to file for divorce for any reason. He had married her—offered to marry her—knowing fully well that she was with another man's child, and he'd still gone through with it knowing it could very well be a child he'd have to claim as his firstborn to avoid scandal. None of it was rational, yet it was, because Ari was a good and honest man. But good and honest men still had needs, surely—and why not soothe them with his wife?
"And we may not have married out of love or desire, but..." She took a breath. "To go a lifetime without it seems like an awfully lonely way to live, doesn't it? I only thought you would want to. Eventually. Just to not be so lonely. " In saying so, it became clear to her that it was not Ari she wanted, but someone—period. She was never the type of girl who giggled over the older, handsomer boys at school, nor had she been in any rush to settle down, but now that she was married she could hardly imagine spending the rest of her life in such a purgatory.
