Anxiously, Percy peered at Maggie’s face. Watching for an infinitesimal change that might flicker across it, some small hint of what she might be feeling. Surprise was clear on her face, in the widening of her eyes, in the moment when he thought a smile might break across her lips. But then her face clouded, her brows furrowed. In that moment, the moment between surprise and devastation, Percy knew her answer. Knew that what he had felt that night at the ball had been him and him alone. She had no idea his feelings for her, as he had mistakenly thought she did, nor did she return those feelings. His heart plummeted.

Her words delivered the sting of a heartbreak he had always known would come. A heartbreak seven - no nine (for he loved her longer than he could remember) - years in the making. A heartbreak that when he thought himself so close to the choice of being with her, was delivered to tell him there had never been a choice, a chance. He may have deluded himself for a few days that there was perhaps so hope in the matter, some small kernel of friendship that might appeal him to her, but there wasn’t. In the end the choice had never even existed.

What hurt the most, Percy realized, was not her rejection. On some level he had always known that was what the answer would be. But rather the thought that there had been another man. Another man that Percy had not even known of. He had always thought Maggie would tell him if she were courting, if her attentions had fallen on another man, yet her letters (rare as they had become) had not even hinted at it. Had their friendship fallen apart into a weak semblance of what it had once been? Or had it always been like this and Percy was too blind to see it?

What did he say now? Percy wondered as the pain crashed into him. What was there left to say? Instead Percy put the ring back into his pocket. His cheeks had turned red, a flush creeping up through to his ears. There was nothing left to say, to do. He realized. This was Maggie’s choice, he had played his role, he had taken his chance.

Percy stood up and stpped back. “I see.” He said, almost emotionless. Inside he was reeling, but he tried to remain collected. He had been too late. The words rang through his head, drumming against his skull again and again, and with it the lingering thought that she had never loved him in the first place.

“I-” Percy started. But where did he go from here? He resisted the urge to run a nervous hand through his hair. Maggie deserved better from this if they had even considered themselves friends. For her sake he had to pull himself together. Set aside his shame and be the friend she would want from him. “I wish you all the happiness in the world Maggie.” He told her, and it was true. He did. Even if that meant that he wasn’t in her life. Quieter, he added, “He’s a very lucky man.” He fixed his gaze on the floor between them, not sure he could handle the embarrassment of looking at her any longer than needed, especially when mentioning the man that Percy had for a moment deluded himself into thinking he could be.