All Shawn was able to do in that brief moment of her asking him to sit and then saying she'd see about getting some coffee brought around was to nod mutely. It wasn't really like him to be without things to say. Though he was far from an overly talkative sort, he still never felt as though he couldn't speak. This was all out of his realm and had him decidedly quite off as a result. It was frustrating but certainly not at any fault of her own. If anything, Miss Bellchant was being the perfect hostess even if their circumstances were rather strained and awkward at the moment. Maybe he really shouldn't have come.
But as he settled in his seat and thought on it all, he knew he had to come. He had to at least let her know, no matter how she might feel, that he hadn't taken those days lightly in his thoughts. Even if they were a bit of a blur, he had enjoyed himself in those days and enjoyed her company. It was, perhaps, the first time he'd actually enjoyed the company of a woman since the days if Imogen. Which was really saying something. It had been years since he'd seen the woman he was supposed to have been married to in that moment. Instead, she was married to another and had a whole brood of children of her own. It had been a hard pill to swallow and one that still stung to even think of. It was also the reason why he'd hardly let himself get comfortable in London. There had been no reason to be there anymore. At least, that had been the case prior to meeting Miss Bellchant and now he was thoroughly confused and unsure of his future.
His thoughts were jarred back to reality as she reentered the parlor and moved to sit on the edge of the couch away from his own chair. Her smile was tentative at best and his own was quite similar as a result. Though he nodded to acknowledge her words, nothing but silence followed as he tried to gather his thoughts. They were erratic in that moment, unsure of where to start or what to really say. This could all go wonderfully or miserably. There was no way of knowing and that made him terrified. It was almost more terrifying than braving the seas during a winter storm.
"Look, Nim-," he paused, unsure if he should even call her by her first name still before correcting himself, "Miss Bellchant, I wanted to talk with you about those three days." Those three quite amazing days. "I hardly acted the part of the gentleman, at least, I'm sure I should have acted in a better manner. But that potion, it had a way of making me act without much thought." And he was beating himself up for that. He had never been the type to force anything on a woman, he'd been raised better than that. And, that was perhaps what worried him most. That he'd taken advantage of her in a moment she couldn't control either.
"I'm not the type of man to force affections or anything on a woman," he continued on, eyes falling to his own hands clasped together in his own lap, "And I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That I hadn't.. hurt you. I'm upset that someone would so willingly risk causing such things, not considering how the fall out could hurt those involved."
But as he settled in his seat and thought on it all, he knew he had to come. He had to at least let her know, no matter how she might feel, that he hadn't taken those days lightly in his thoughts. Even if they were a bit of a blur, he had enjoyed himself in those days and enjoyed her company. It was, perhaps, the first time he'd actually enjoyed the company of a woman since the days if Imogen. Which was really saying something. It had been years since he'd seen the woman he was supposed to have been married to in that moment. Instead, she was married to another and had a whole brood of children of her own. It had been a hard pill to swallow and one that still stung to even think of. It was also the reason why he'd hardly let himself get comfortable in London. There had been no reason to be there anymore. At least, that had been the case prior to meeting Miss Bellchant and now he was thoroughly confused and unsure of his future.
His thoughts were jarred back to reality as she reentered the parlor and moved to sit on the edge of the couch away from his own chair. Her smile was tentative at best and his own was quite similar as a result. Though he nodded to acknowledge her words, nothing but silence followed as he tried to gather his thoughts. They were erratic in that moment, unsure of where to start or what to really say. This could all go wonderfully or miserably. There was no way of knowing and that made him terrified. It was almost more terrifying than braving the seas during a winter storm.
"Look, Nim-," he paused, unsure if he should even call her by her first name still before correcting himself, "Miss Bellchant, I wanted to talk with you about those three days." Those three quite amazing days. "I hardly acted the part of the gentleman, at least, I'm sure I should have acted in a better manner. But that potion, it had a way of making me act without much thought." And he was beating himself up for that. He had never been the type to force anything on a woman, he'd been raised better than that. And, that was perhaps what worried him most. That he'd taken advantage of her in a moment she couldn't control either.
"I'm not the type of man to force affections or anything on a woman," he continued on, eyes falling to his own hands clasped together in his own lap, "And I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That I hadn't.. hurt you. I'm upset that someone would so willingly risk causing such things, not considering how the fall out could hurt those involved."