Kieran could hear Jude's heartbeat through his shirt, a steady drum-beat underlying the words. And maybe he didn't want Jude's help - maybe he didn't want to drag him into this - but the truth was, if he wanted to remain free and if he wanted to avoid hurting anyone else, he needed it. He needed Jude's help, more than he needed anyone else's. (The other truth -- Eileen could have helped him, would have forgiven him, he went to Jude anyways.)

"Are you sure?" Kieran said. He lifted his head, finally, to meet Jude's gaze. This wasn't easy. It wasn't easy, and with Jude's help it would become easier on Kieran - and so much worse for Jude. He had already made it worse for Jude, he knew, by telling the truth. The truth was a selfish beast and it was too late to take it back.

He needed help; as much as he needed Jude's help, he needed to make sure that Jude knew what he was doing.

"It's every month. Three nights every month, and it never stops, and it might not get easier. You don't have to do this - but if you're going to, you have to be sure."

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