I don't know.. I honestly can't remember what was said after that. There was a lot of firewhiskey involved you know. I do know I went to bed alone though so.. I suppose that is a good thing. But the details are all a bit foggy. And maybe I didn't tell him that. I don't honestly know. I know I've thought it. Have since I met him but.. none of that really matters.

As to my fiance, I received a letter from his mother just a few days prior to it all asking if I'd heard from him as they hadn't heard from him for a couple of weeks. I'm not entirely sure what has happened or what's going to happen. Perhaps that's why I thought to admit such a thing.

And my brother is doing well. He has a cane at the moment but he hopes to be rid of it. I guess time will only tell. He was rather cross with me initially but.. things are better now. I am just truly at a loss of what to do. What would you do were you in my shoes?