Day four. This shouldn't be so bad already, should it? I feel like a lunatic coming undone at the seams. It's been less than a week and I'm a wreck. I don't know what I expected, clearly this should take more than a few days, but I also thought maybe I'd hear from you. I can't even imagine what other people are going through, wives, children, husbands I suppose, wondering what their loved ones are doing right now. They must go about their day as normally as they can, but how?

I need to figure it out.

Mother almost asked what was wrong with me today. It was on the tip of her tongue, I could see it in her eyes and I very quickly made an escape before she could get the words out. I don't even know what I would say at this point. I should make up a story to tell when she inevitably does. I'll have to think on it.

In case you were wondering, whiskey does the trick for falling asleep, but it does little to help the dreams. I'll need a new bottle by week's end at this rate. Going to see how much finagling that will take in the morning. Thank Merlin for Mrs. Harding. I think she knows, though I haven't said a word. She keeps bringing me chamomile tea at night. She must know something by now, though I don't think she'd ever say something.

I miss you.