Dean said he'd never intentionally hurt someone. The back of Don Juan's neck went hot, but he wasn't going to argue with that. It would mean telling Hudson about one of the worst nights of his life, and clearly knowing more about what Don Juan had been through in December was the last thing Hudson needed. Even if he did tell Hudson everything, he would find a way to explain it away, to make Don Juan either a blameless victim in the equation or at least a sympathetic antihero. Hudson would say he wouldn't have done any of it if he hadn't been high already when Griffith assaulted him, and that was true. Hudson would say that anything was excusable after Griffith had tried to violate him in that way, and maybe that was true too. Neither changed what he'd done: intentionally degrading himself, adding to his expanding collection of trauma and baggage, for the express purpose of trying to hurt the other man.

He wasn't going to tell Hudson more about December. Hudson was right: he needed someone to stay, and maybe if Hudson knew the whole truth about him he wouldn't be so inclined to be here.

Don Juan edged one toe over towards Hudson's thigh, craving contact but still hesitant to initiate any touch in the shape that he was in.

"Let me go get something for that," he said, with a loose nod towards Hudson's bloody handkerchief. He offered Hudson a stained smile. "If I can't sleep I might as well be useful."

---