There is no word deep enough for my failure because there can be no other truth between us: I have failed. I have failed us both. I have failed you for years.

But what have I asked for but the truth? What have I wanted but you? You have starved my fire, my love, and stripped me of the one thing in this life that has eluded me. There are sins in my past that cannot be undone; perhaps this is my punishment. I am meant to live my life at the perimeter of your light, near enough to know what I have lost but now forever out of reach.

I cannot walk this earth as anything but your wife, I have no wish to live a day as anything else. If I must live my life with nothing but your name, it will be enough. I have no choice. Because I feel it in what remains of my heart, I will be doomed to live. Live and long for you.

I won't remain in your home, it is yours and you've made it clear that my presence is unwelcome. I cannot blame you. I am unwelcome to myself at present. I pray that someday you may think better of me and remember the woman I was: one who loved not wisely, but too well.

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MJ made this miracle!